Happiness & The Meaning of Life
(Three-part series lesson plan)
by Bernie Dehler
INTRODUCTION
The following pages reflect the lesson plan I created for the three-series course taught in 1Q2010 for CFI-Portland.
Here are some of the highlights:
- When it comes to “creating meaning for one’s life,” the two classic basic building blocks are:
- Determine your values
- Based on your values, determine your short-term and long-term goals
- I think this essay (from the ASA) was profound in its teaching that our values and how we experience ‘meaning’ depends on our personality type. Many people make the mistake of thinking they should find meaning the same way that others do, and don’t know they should consider their own path and personality. Therefore it is vital for one to get to know their personality type. There are four main classifications of personality types which deeply affect how one feels ‘meaning’ is in their life. The document is here:
- The “Happiness for Dummies” book is a great resource for teaching about how to achieve happiness in one’s life. In the last session we used the three cheat sheets from this book as a discussion guide, however, there is so much more in this book on the topic that we didn’t discuss because of lack of time. We basically scratched the surface.
- Next time it could be a good idea to plan for three sessions, each, for “finding meaning” and “finding happiness” (instead of combing both topics into three sessions as we did).
- For “finding meaning,” the basic material could easily be taught and practiced in the first session, but two more sessions would be good to solidify the practice that is required in continuous evaluation of ourselves. As we change in life, we need to constantly update the state of our values and what we want to achieve in life, and make adjustments were necessary. Determining goals is not a yearly thing… more like weekly or monthly (which includes making the adjustments as necessary).
- For “finding happiness,” one could create a lesson plan that teaches a little on the subject in each session, with time for ample discussion for the purpose of deepening fellowship by getting to know each other more intimately… sharing concerns, goals, etc.
Happiness & The Meaning of Life
The Big Picture
Goals and Outline:
-- Discussion of popular teaching/texts on life happiness and meaning
-- Define our personal core values
-- Define our personal own short-term and long-term life objectives
-- Share our objectives and values in a small group discussion
-- Review and develop the objectives and values at each monthly meeting
-- Develop some friendships in the local humanist community
Session 1: Introduce the concepts of happiness, and life meaning (values and goals). Define your values, and short- and long-term goals (first pass). Group discussion: How can we help each other in life, knowing the values and goals of others in our group?
Your Path:
Your path is your own, and only yours. Like in a boat, if you are following a wake, you are following someone’s else’s trail and destination, and not your own; unless you choose that. There is no pre-ordained trail for you to follow. There is a world of opportunities for you to choose from.
Session 1 details:
Warm-up:
-- (30 min.) Introduce yourself, and a happy (non-sexual ;-) moment you have experienced in the last week or month.
Opening presentation:
-- (15 min.) What is happiness?
-- Maslow’s 5 stages (Happiness book pg. 16/17)
-- The Four basic Ingredients (Happiness book, pages 28-31)
-- Safety, Satiation, Perspective, & Quietude
-- (20 min.) What brings meaning to one’s life?
-- Enjoying the moment
-- Flow
-- (15 min.) Bernie’s example of flow. People briefly share ‘flow’ experiences.
-- What are your values?
-- What are your life goals (short and long term; family/business; etc.)?
Individual work:
-- (10 min.) Write down your primary values in life (first draft)
Discussion on exercise:
-- (15 min.)
[Split up into two groups]
What would you like to share about your values? What did you learn about yourself?
Individual work:
-- (10 min.) Write down your primary short- and long-term goals in life (first draft)
Discussion on exercise:
-- (15 min.)
[Split up into two groups]
What would you like to share about your goals? What did you learn about yourself?
Final comments:
-- (5 min.)
-- Homework for next session (develop/reflect/refine values and goals)
-- Announce the next meeting date, time, and place.
-- Continuous improvement: positive/negative feedback for this session?
Short list of values, from:
Accomplishment, SuccessAccountability
Accuracy
Adventure
All for one & one for all
Beauty
Calm, quietude, peace
Challenge
Change
Cleanliness, orderliness
Collaboration
Commitment
Communication
Community
Competence
Competition
Concern for others
Connection
Content over form
Continuous improvement
Cooperation
Coordination
Creativity
Customer satisfaction
Decisiveness
Delight of being, joy
Democracy
Discipline
Discovery
Diversity
Ease of Use
Efficiency
Equality
Excellence
Fairness
Faith
Faithfulness / Family
Family feeling
Flair
Freedom
Friendship
Fun
Global view
Good will
Goodness
Gratitude
Hard work
Harmony
Honesty
Honor
Improvement
Independence
Individuality
Inner peace, calm, quietude
Innovation
Integrity
Intensity
Justice
Knowledge
Leadership
Love, Romance
Loyalty
Maximum utilization
(of time, resources)
Meaning
Merit
Money
Openness
Patriotism
Peace, Non-violence
Perfection
Personal Growth
Pleasure
Power
Practicality
Preservation
Privacy
Progress / Prosperity, Wealth
Punctuality
Quality of work
Regularity
Reliability
Resourcefulness
Respect for others
Responsiveness
Results-oriented
Rule of Law
Safety
Satisfying others
Security
Self-givingness
Self-reliance
Self-thinking
Service
(to others, society)
Simplicity
Skill
Solving Problems
Speed
Spirit in life (using)
Stability
Standardization
Status
Strength
Succeed; A will to-
Success, Achievement
Systemization
Teamwork
Timeliness
Tolerance
Tradition
Tranquility
Trust
Truth
Unity
Variety
Wisdom
Happiness & The Meaning of Life
Session 2: This session is geared to really get people to open-up and share their heart. What are their values and goals in life? This is the way to really get to know people. As we share, we may also get ideas for new directions to take in our own life. We may also see alternate ways to view life, meaning, and reality.
Your Path:
Review: your path is your own, and only yours. Like in a boat, if you are following a wake, you are following someone’s else’s trail and destination, and not your own path; unless you choose that. There is no pre-ordained trail for you to follow. Life offers you a world of opportunities for you to choose from.
Session 2 details:
Warm-up:
-- (25 min.) Introduce yourself, and relate a ‘flow’ experience (non-sexual ;-) since the last session.
Opening presentation:
-- (5 min. total) Overview
-- What should our purpose in life be? One popular answer is to seek happiness.
This is done by finding your values and defining your goals. These change as you grow older,
so they need to be routinely updated.
-- Discussion of some of the science behind “finding meaning in life” (Sylvia presents…)
-- Today’s goal: deepening the fellowship by intimately relating our values and goals.
-- (30 min.) What can science tell us about happiness and life purpose?
-- (10 min.) Book report from Sylvia
-- (20 min.) Large group discussion on the presentation
Small Group Discussion 1 (Values):
-- (25 min. total) What are your values? Why did you select the ones that you did?
-- Ground rules:
-- Let each person talk for about 2 minutes without interruption, then answer questions for
about three minutes
-- Moderator: don’t allow others to hijack the sharing time of the person “on-deck”
Small Group Discussion 2 (Goals):
-- (25 min. total) What are your short-term and long-term goals?
Why did you select the ones that you did? Same ground rules.
Final comments:
-- (10 min.)
-- Homework for next session (develop/reflect/refine values and goals)
-- Announce the next meeting date, time, and place.
-- Continuous improvement: positive/negative feedback for this session?
Happiness & The Meaning of Life (cont.)
Supplemental Reading:
From the AHA website, members area:
Provide the handout. Major points:
- Hierarchy of needs… where are you?
- Differing weights and barriers to each level
- There are four main personality types, and how each one views “the meaningful life” in a different way:
-- Idealist
-- Rationalist
-- Artesian
-- Guardian
Excerpt:
For Maslow, actualization of our own life is the purpose for each individual's unique existence. Maslow shows the normal path, and provides an understanding of the goal for each of our lives. Additionally, he instructs us how to recognize when we have become a self-actualized person, i.e., one who has for that moment maximized our own existence.
Happiness & The Meaning of Life
Session 3: This session is mostly on the topic of happiness. We have a group discussion on the three inventory surveys on the first pages of the book “Happiness for Dummies.”
Handouts: Copies of the inside sheet from the book.
Session 3 details:
Warm-up:
-- (15 min.) Introduce yourself, and relate a ‘flow’ experience (non-sexual ;-) since the last session. What have you done lately that gave you the feeling of enjoying life?
(Members count off from 1 to 4)
Small Group Discussion 1 (“Are you Happy” survey from front of the book):
(Members 1-2, 3-4)
-- (30 min. total)
(5 min.) Moderator: Read the first 5 items.
(10 min.) Group: Discussion of how it applies to your specific life circumstances.
(5 min.) Moderator: Read the second grouping of 5 items.
(10 min.) Group: Discussion of how it applies to your specific life circumstances.
Small Group Discussion2 (“What Happiness Isn’t” survey from front of the book):
(Members 1-3, 2-4)
-- (15 min. total)
(5 min.) Moderator: Read the first 5 items.
(10 min.) Group: Discussion of how it applies to your specific life circumstances.
Small Group Discussion 3 (“Work 101: How to be a happy employee” survey from front of the book):
(Members 1-4, 2-3)
-- (15 min. total)
(5 min.) Moderator: Read the first 5 items.
(10 min.) Group: Discussion of how it applies to your specific life circumstances.
Large group discussion… Goal review, ongoing
-- (15 min. total)
(15 min.) Our homework was to think daily about our values and life goals. What changes have you made as a result of this?
Final comments:
-- (10 min.)
-- Homework for next session (what is our next topic in this series?)
-- Announce the next meeting date, time, and place.
-- Continuous improvement: positive/negative feedback for this session?
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