Practical Tips for Developing Social Skills

Nicole Ferrer

PLPC, NCC

Cell: 504 398-2168

Joan M. Fischer LPC-S, LMFT-S, NCC

cell: 504 615-8321


What are social skills?

Social skills are the ability to act in a way that is acceptable by

society and that is not in conflict with personal values. Good social skills allow a person to develop and maintain healthy relationships so that the basic needs of survival, belonging, power, fun, and freedom are met.

STEP 1

Identify the needed skills:

• Tolerating criticism

• Accepting "NO"

• Taking turns

• Initiating conversations making friends

• Using appropriate touch

• Using appropriate body space

• Controlling impulses

• Following rules

• Recognizing/respecting differentiated roles

• Tolerating distraction

• Tolerating change

• Using gestures/postures

• Dressing appropriately

• Timing

• Making choice

• Generating alternatives

Consider:

• Social language

1. adapting vocabulary, volume, or tone to the audience, setting, or situation

2. using symbolism (metaphors, sarcasm, puns, etc.)

3. responding appropriately to humor or rhetorical questions

(clapping, booing, etc.)

• Visual/Spatial

1. using appropriate eye contact

2. maintaining appropriate physical distance

3. responding to and using appropriate touch

• Verbal/Non-verbal cues (rolling eyes, sighs, facial expressions, etc.)

STEP 2

Teach the behavior:

• Define the behavior

• Model the behavior

• Identify examples/non-examples (TV or movie clips, pictures, role play, "in vivo" observation, etc.)


STEP 3 Practice the behavior:

• Practice with you

• Practice with "safe others"

• Practice with "safe others" in random settings

• Practice in "real" setting

STEP 4 Reinforce the behavior:

• Notice

• Affirm

• Reward

• "If. . . then"

Remember, your child may not care about or want social relationships. This may make your task more difficult.

*SLANT

Sit up.

Lean forward

Ask questions, act like you're listening.

Nod.

Track speakers.

*FEVER

Face the other person.

Eye contact. Voice. Expressions. Right posture.

Resources:

Why Don't They Like Me? Helping your Child Make and Keep Friends by

Susan M. Sheridan, Ph.D.

*Helping the Child Who Doesn't Fit In by Stephen Nowicki Jr., Ph.D. and

Marshall P. Duke, Ph.D.