Embracing your emotions – affective state impacts lateralisation of human embraces
Julian Packheiser*a†, Noemi Rook*a, ZeynepDursuna, JanneMesenhöllera, AlreschaWenglorza, OnurGüntürküna, Sebastian Ocklenburga
a: Institute of Cognitive Neuroscience, Biopsychology, Department of Psychology, Ruhr-University Bochum, Germany
*These authors contributed equally to the manuscript
†CorrespondingAuthor: Julian Packheiser
Addresscorrespondenceto: Julian Packheiser, Abteilung Biopsychologie, Institut für Kognitive Neurowissenschaft, Fakultät für Psychologie, Ruhr-Universität Bochum, Universitätsstraße 150, D-44780 Bochum, Germany. E-mail:
Supplements 1 Cover Stories (English Translation)
- Cover story -neutral-male
It’s six o’clock. Finally time to leave work! You grab your stuff before heading out. Your colleague is also leaving work and you walk down together. You talk about your plans for the weekend and your boss’upcoming birthday party. After leaving the building, your colleague says, “I have to go this way. I couldn’t find a parking space this morning and had to park far away. Have a nice weekend!” You embrace each other. Afterwards, you walk over to the train station.
- Cover story-neutral-female
It’s early in the morning. The alarm goes off and you think, ”I have to get up.” In two hours, you have a seminar at uni and you still have to eat breakfast and pack your things. While getting dressed you get a text from your friend who lives in the same house. She says, “Hey, are you going to university as well? I have a seminar at ten. Do you want to meet downstairs in half an hour?” You write back,”Sure, see you soon.” Thirty minutes later, you meet downstairs at the front door. She is waiting for you. “Hey,” you say and you embrace to say hello.
- Cover story-negative-female
Your mother is a strong, down-to-earth woman. For a long time she has fought with your father against his illness. He wasdiagnosed with cancer when he was just thirty-eight years old. It was a long and very hard battle accompanied by lots of medicines, long hospital stays and chemotherapies. For you three it was incredibly hard, but in particular, your parents’ marriage suffered terribly under your father’s illness. Additionally, your parents had to pay a part of your father’s treatments themselves so that the illness left a huge financial gap. “That was the worst time of our lives”, your mother often said. So many days of uncertainty and pain, but the chemo worked and slowly but surely the cancer was treated. Your parents discovered new hope. They decided to work less and take more time for each other and for you, and to go away more often. After the therapy, they went on a lovely family holiday from their last financial reserves. Your father changed his job, wanted to follow his passion of drawing, instead of always sitting in an office. Every moment you could spend with your parents was so precious after those hard times. And also your parents knew how short life could be, and fully appreciated the here and now. But then the call came. Every year your father had to go to the screenings. He wanted to go alone. “It will be ok as always. Just think positive”, your mother said to herself. But it did not work so she sat at home on edge and waited for your father’s call. Hoping that he would call to say, “Hello darling, it is ok. I told you so.” Then the phone rang and you immediately felt that something was not right. “It’s back again”, your father said. Your mother felt as if something in her broke. She could not contain her tears. The pain was too great. “I can’t do it again”, she said. “I can’t do it, please let the doctors be wrong. I can’t endure it again, it was just too horrible.” She collapsed in your arms. You were also overwhelmed by sorrow. “We have to be strong now and stand together”, you said to her. Comfortingly, you took her in your arms and held her tight. “Somehowwe will makeit,”youwhispered.
- Cover story-negative-female
Your best friend was an incredible woman. You had met at a job when you were still both students. You saw each other almost every day. For a while, you even lived together in a flat until she moved in with her partner. Your best friend always knew what she wanted. She was simply always a stable constant in your life. Someone you could always rely on. With time, you became older, you finished your studies, and you both got jobs. Around that time, your friend and her partner wanted to have a child. “All I want to be is a mother,” she said. You were so happy for both of them. You could imagine your best friend so well as a mother. When you met one afternoon in your usual café,as you had so often done, she gave you the good news. “It has worked. I’m pregnant. I still can’t believe it,” she said. As of that point, everything revolved around the growing life. You gave them a wonderful wooden crib. As the news spread, they were both overwhelmed by gifts of baby clothing and toys. Often you went to pregnancy gymnastics with your best friend when her partner didn’t have time. You already felt so close to this child even though it was not yours. Your best friend, while pregnant, had an even more beautiful air about her than usual. You could really see how good she felt in her own skin, how wonderful it felt to see this life growing inside her. One time she said, “I can’t even imagine how it felt before.” The pregnancy went as smoothly as you could imagine. Until the pain started. It was a strong, cramping pain, a tugging in the lower belly, and also bad pains in the lower back. When it happened the first time, she immediately went into hospital. But the pains left again soon. Afterwards she called you immediately and told you everything. You were really concerned, but she was hopeful. The doctors said these things happened. “I think it was a one-time thing,” she said. But she was wrong. Two days later, the pains returned. That same day, your best friend had do go back into hospital. For a few days, she was unreachable. Then she called you and told you what had happened. You immediately hurried to be with her. As you reached her, you found her utterly devastated. She was a shadow of her former self. “I lost my baby,”she said and started to cry. You embraced her and held her tight. There was nothing you could say.
- Cover story-negative-male
You and your brother have a really good relationship. He is almost exactly four and a half years younger than you are. You have always felt a little bit responsible for him. Ashe started showing interest in girls, you were there for him and listened to his stories,comforted him when he was hurt and reproached him when he behaved badly. At some point this stopped. As you grew older, he did not tell you about his relationship problems any longer but you were still very close. Even after university, when you both had jobs, you still met often to cook together and to talk. One of those evenings, your brother brought his new girlfriend with him. At first, you were slightly sceptical but she seemed very pleasant and you had a brilliant evening. He beamed at you and you could see his infatuation. “She is the one. I am sure. It has never felt so right,”your brother said. To know that one of the people closest to you was happy also filled you with happiness. Those two were a wonderful couple and slowly the girlfriend of your brother became a real part of the family. There was just one problem. His partner lived in a different city about two and a half hours away by car. Mostly she slept several nights during the week at his place and visited him about every second weekend. Sometimes he also visited her. At some point, this was not enough for your brother. “I don’t understand why she doesn’t want to move in with me. Soon we will have been together for four years. Where is this leading?” He felt utterly rejected; he loved her so and simply wanted to wake up next to her every morning. So he thought of a plan of how to finally win her over. He wanted to pay her a surprise visit and wanted to stand in front of her door with a huge bouquet of flowers on the eve of their four-year anniversary. You were very touched and you were anxious to learn of her reaction. You were actually rather expecting a call, but the next day the doorbell suddenly rang and there stood your brother, utterly devastated. “She has fooled me the entire time, all those years, all lies. I don’t know this woman.” She had not been prepared for his visit and he had found her with a second man. “Maybe I am the second man. I don’t know what to think anymore. Why has she done this to me? I trusted her.” You couldn’t believe what you heard. His entire world was shattered. How can you be so wrong about someone and why did it have to happen to him of all people. Youtookhimintoyourarms.
- Cover story-negative-male
When you moved to the big city to study, you met your best friend on your first day at university. You had been worried whether you would get by and if you would get to know nice people, but without reason it seemed. With him by your side, everything seemed so much easier. You got on so well, as if you had known each other forever. You studied together, you did sports together, you went out together. The entire world belonged to you. After graduating your bachelor degrees, you went on a grand adventure to Australia. It was an incredibly wonderful time. You rented a small VW bus, drove along the coast, learnt to surf and enjoyed life. In Australia, your best friend met a young woman and they became a couple. She was a Swede and a student. There were of one heart and soul. You were very happy for them. You got on extremely well with her. The rest of the time, you three travelled together in the VW bus through Australia. This time brought you together even closer. Back from Australia, your best friend and his girlfriend had a long distance relationship. It was not easy, but it worked out pretty well. All three of you also sometimes hung out when his girlfriend visited. Several times, you took him to the airport or picked him up and drove to the airport with him to pick up his girlfriend. It had almost become a habit.One Sunday, you once again went to pick her up from the airport. You were about to get into your car, when your best friend called you. He was utterly devastated. “Oh my god! The plane crashed. It was on the news. She was on there. They don’t know if there are any survivors.” He sounded very frantic. You could simply not believe what he had said. “Her plane crashed?” You shivered as you realized that she could be dead. “I’m on my way,” you said on the telephone and made your way to him. Arriving at his place, you try to comfort him, to give him at least some hope. “They have not said anything exactly on the news, she is probably fine.” Mesmerized, you sit in front of the television and wait for hours. Your best friend was utterly devastated. “What will I do if she is dead? We planned our entire future together. How will I live without her?” Youembraceyourbestfriend.
- Cover story-positive-female
For many years, your mother and father tried to have a second child.You had high hopes and anxiously waited, but every time your hopes were crushed. But at some point, after a doctors’ visit your parents gave you the good news. ‘You will have a sister!’ You nearly burst with joy, but especially your mother was extremely happy. For the entire family the pregnancy was a wonderful time of joyful anticipation. The birth took a long time, but happened without further complications. You thought that nothing could destroy your family’s happiness about the baby. But two days after the birth of your sister a doctor came to your mother’s hospital bed and told her somethingwas not quite right with her new-born daughter. After a few days, new examinations concluded that her baby suffered from spasticity, caused by a lack of oxygen during the long birth. Your mother was completely unprepared for such news. The pregnancy had been unproblematic and now such news! Your mother blamed herself and she struggled to come to terms with the fact that her daughter had an incurable disease. It was a difficult time for the family, but especially for your mother it demanded a lot of strength. Everyday life was crammed with appointments, multiple examinations to clarify the child’s illness further. Your mother quit her job to have more time for the little one and to care for her more intensely. It was still too much. Your mother was simply overburdened. It was not uncommon for your mother to sit in the kitchen in the evenings and quietly weep. Your father and you tried to assist her however you could, but your mother was simply drained. Additionally no form of therapy seemed to show an effect. Every time she would rest her entire hope on a new form of therapy, but she was always disappointed. However, one day your mother heard of a new form of therapy, riding therapy. She booked a few preliminary sessions to see if it would work better this time. She had practically lost all enthusiasm before, but now a spark of hope emerged again. As your mother and sister returned from the first session, your mother seemed completely changed. She was bursting with energy and vitality, as she had not for a very long time. “The therapy is working, your sister will soon get better! Everything will get better, I’m sure of it.” You could hardly believe your luck. You could feel how hopeful your mother was. You look into her eyes and see the certainty that your sister will get better. You hug your mother closely and tears of relief run down your faces.
- Cover story-positive-female
Even as a child, the greatest wish of your sister was to one day become a mother. She and her husband tried for a long time to have children. But it was not to be. She tried hormone therapy together with several forms of natural family planning. Attempts at IVFalso failed. They lost a lot of money, and every time they were disappointed, their hope grew ever smaller. Your brother, in contrast, was already a father, twice even. Day by day, contact between your brother and your sister became more difficult. “Why does he get to experience so much happiness and not me? Why? Who decidesthis? It hurts so much. I want to be allowed to be a mother.” She was tired, and all the operations and medications had left their marks on her body. She was on sick leave for half a year. You were very close, but she increasingly slipped into depression. Her husband, however, tried to persuade her to try again. “Darling, just this one more time. I’ve got this feeling, let’s try it one more time.” But she did not want to be disappointed again. “I cannot take the pain any longer. Every time I get the news from the doctors that it has not worked yet again.” Another two years passed and her mental state grew worse. Finally, she decided to try one last time. “One more time, otherwise I don’t want to live any more. If I can’t be a mother, I don’t want to be alive at all.”Again, she received hormone therapy and there were many appointments scheduled before the operation. She was still incredibly exhausted, but she also felt a spark of hope. “This time it will work. I know it, I know it, I am sure of it.” 7 days after the operation she went back to hospital for a check-up. She was so nervous, so shaky. And thensheheardthenews. She was pregnant! “I will have a child, I will be a mother.” Never in her life had you seen her so happy, so relieved. “I am born again.Today, a new life begins.” Tears fell, but from happiness, not sadness. She had never been as happy as that day. Not even at her wedding. She could not stop smiling. She could have jumped around the hospital halls like a small child. Like her future child. You could not contain tears of joy either and you fell into each other’s arms. “You will be a mother and I will have a niece or a nephew,” you whispered happily in her ear.