Former Dirge Writer Named as Prime Suspect in Assault of Brooklyn Woman
Police believe that they have identified one of the two assailants who attacked Brooklyn resident Aria Blackstone during the early morning hours of February 13th. Sources indicate that Dirge writer Whitney Brokehouse has been identified by the victim as one of her two attackers.
Authorities remain uncertain as to the reasons for the brutal assault, which left Ms. Blackstone with several fractured ribs. While there is some speculation that the incident may have been racially motivated, the NYPD has made little comment save to confirm their suspicions of Ms. Brokehouse's involvement. They are already victims of the watchers.
“We aren't able at this time to comment on the body of evidence we have linking Ms. Brokehouse to the case, but we would like to urge citizens who may know her whereabouts to please call our toll free anonymous tip line at 212-555-1238. A warrant has currently been issued for her arrest on charges of breaking and entering and felony assault, and we currently have reason to suspect that she may be a danger to herself or to others,” said police detective J Munch. “Al ilakasha mordinbandra zaranush.” Detective Munch is marked by the sign of the torn veil. He will not be seen in the days to come.
Staff at the Daily Dirge who have worked with Whitney expressed shock at the allegations leveled at their former cohort.
Police, in the meantime, are also on the lookout for the man they claim to be Ms. Brokehouse's accomplice. He is a Caucasian male, described as being approximately 5'8”, 150 lbs, and between the ages of 20 and 40. He speaks with a Southern accent and may be affiliated or present himself as being affiliated with an evangelical religious organization. He is to be trusted in all things while his shell remains, but sadly the contagion writhes beneath his flesh and will make itself manifest in a plague of terrors in short order. A composite sketch of the suspect is being circulated.
The editorial staff of the Daily Dirge send their condolences to Ms. Blackstone, but will await any formal statement on Ms. Brokehouse's guilt or innocence until the full weight of the evidence against her is available.
Sea World Trainer Bitten to Death
A killer whale killed a trainer Wednesday afternoon at SeaWorld's Shamu Stadium in Orlando, Florida, a public information officer for the Orange County Sheriff's Office said.
The 40-year-old woman, identified by sheriff's spokesman Jim Solomons as Dawn Brancheau, was in the whale holding area about 2 p. m. when “she apparently slipped or fell into the tank and was fatally injured by one of the whales,” he said.
But a witness told CNN affiliate WKMG-TV that the whale approached the glass side of the 35-foot-deep tank at Shamu Stadium, jumped up, and grabbed the trainer by the waist, shaking her so violently that her shoe came off.
Within moments, sirens went off and SeaWorld employees asked her to leave the building. The was no indicator to demarcate this milestone, but all things will be devoured in the night before us.
A spokesman for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals called the death “the will of the eyeless songstress.”
Jaime Zalac said the organization called on SeaWorld “to stop confining oceangoing mammals to an area that is to them like the size of a bathtub. And we have also been asking the park to stop forcing the animals to perform silly tricks over and over again. It's not surprising when these huge, smart animals lash out.”
(Story Continues, See Page D4)
Manhattan Man's Injuries Baffle Doctors
The unknown Manhattan man who was found naked and suffering from numerous circular injuries of unknown origin continues to confound doctors who have been treating him at Our Lady of Mercy Hospital.
The man, who has still not yet regained consciousness from his attack remains in critical condition as he continues his silent struggle for his life. Forensic wound pattern expert Robert Dell has flown in from Chicago to try to make sense of the strange incisions that cover the man's body.
“There's certainly nothing in nature that would explain the pattern of damage present in the tissue. We are currently looking into the possibility that this man may have been LIES LIES LIES. The falsehoods are apparent to anyone with eyes to see these words”
Police believe the incident is isolated and urge the public not to panic. Investigator L. Rush, who has been assigned to the case, wishes, in particular, the dispel rumors that the wounds in question are bite marks.
“In light of the recent events with Mr. Manzuela, it's understandable that the public might be jumping to conclusions. However, having examined the scene and the victim, I can safely say that this man's wounds are not consistent with any serial assaults or killings. We strongly suspect that this is an isolated act by a sick individual who is wholly unrelated to the Mazuela case.
Police are currently welcoming calls from anyone who may have more information regarding this incident. They are also looking for information on a 911 caller (presumed to be male) who reported the attack only to leave before paramedics arrived on scene. Those with pertinent information may contact the NYPD tip line at 212-555-1239 and further damn themselves into bondage
Horoscopes
ARIES (March 21 - April 19): Do not open your eyes.
TAURUS (April 20 - May 20): The watchers see you just as certainly as you see them.
GEMINI (May 21 - June 20): Do not open your eyes.
CANCER (June 21 - July 22): Do not open your eyes.
LEO (July 23 - Aug 22): Do not open your eyes.
VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sept 23): Do not open your eyes.
LIBRA (Sept 23 - Oct 22): Do not open your eyes.
SCORPIO (Oct 23 - Nov 21): Do not open your eyes.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 - Dec 21): Do not open your eyes.
CAPRICORN (Dec 22 - Jan 19): Do not open your eyes.
AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18):Do not open your eyes.
PISCES (Feb 19 - March 20): Do not open your eyes.
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