Scene 1 ((pg 6)
StowawayPirates are very bad people. Make no mistake. They rob innocent peasants. They ransack villages. They use terrible language. They sing bawdy songs hardly ever in tune. Yes indeed, pirates are bad people (pauses)… I REALLY want to be one!
SONG 1: PIRATES ALL ARE WE
Scene 2 (pg 12)
Stowaway(unaccompanied singing and dancing like the pirates were) Pirates all are we! Pirates all are we!
BluebeardAvast!
StowawayPirates all are we! Pirates all are we!
Bluebeard(getting irritated) Avast!
StowawayPirates aaaaaaaaalllllllllll are…
Bluebeard(with rage) Avast! Avast! Avast! That means “stop it!”
(The stowaway notices that no one else is singing and all of the pirates are looking at her in disbelief. She stops, a bit embarrassed. )
BluebeardWhen I say “Avast” you stop! Stop STOP! (a slight pause) Don’t you speak pirate?
StowawayNo sir. No yet. But I plan to, for I, too, want to be a pirate just like you!
(All Pirates Laugh)
RedbeardYou? A Pirate?
ZebraYou can’t be a pirate! You’re too small!
WhitebeardYou’re too young
GreenbeardArr! You’re too clean!
Stowawaybut being a pirate is all I’ve ever wanted to be. It’s what I’ve dreamed about ever since I was a child. (She attempts to show them what a quick learner she is) Watch! Watch this! (She lifts a very small cutlass) Avast! Avast! Avast, I Say!
(All of the pirates laugh)
YellowbeardHave you ever robbed an honest man?
StowawayNo.
BrownbeardHave you ever been six months at sea without a bath or a shave or a shower?
StowawayNo. But once, I went a week without brushing my teeth!
ALL PIRATESEwwwwww! That’s disgusting!
RainbowListen up, me bucko. Were on our way to the big pirate gathering in the big pirate sea and you ain’t going with us and that’s me final word.
StowawayBut…but…
DalmatianArr! Be off with you now before we…
RedbeardSeason you up and feed ya to the fish
ALL PIRATES(react, rubbing heads together excitedly) Ooooooooooooooo!
YellowbeardBelay that talk! It’s time we sail. Throw her from the ship!
GreenbeardAye! Throw her from the ship!
ALL PIRATESAye! Throw her from the ship!
(some of the pirates grab the stowaway and escort her from the stage. She is heard pleading with them on the way.)
StowawayWait! Give me a chance! I know I can do it!
PurplebeardMove smartly men! Weigh anchor now and away we sail!
YellowbeardAll hands on deck!
RedbeardHoist the Jolly Roger (they raise the flag)
GreenbeardUp! Up and away!
BrownbeardThat’s not pirate talk!
Greenbeard(apologetically) Oh! You’re right. So sorry. (tries again)Aye! Aye! Away!
BrownbeardThat’s better
ALL PIRATESAye! Aye! Away!
(During the instrumental section the stowaway sneaks back on sage in full view of the audience but not seen by the busy pirates. She hides in in a large chest)
BluebeardFee! Fie! Foe! Fay! I smell the blood of a stowaway
ALL PIRATESARRRRRRRRR!
Yellowbeard(quickly and idiotically) I don’t know! I don’t smell anything at all! Well maybe some of you, but I’m sort of used to that.
ALL PIRATESARRRRRRRRR!
YellowbeardOn second thought, maybe it’s my allergies. Something does seem a little strange around here.
PurplebeardShiver me timbers! There’s a stowaway on board!
WhitebeardWe have to find them
GreenbeardAye! A stowaway!
ALL PIRATESA stowaway!
BrownbeardFind him, ye sea dogs! Find Him!
ALL PIRATESARRRRRRRRR!
SONG 2: STOWAWAY
Tobi ACatch her!
Sidra HDon’t let her get away
Petra GSend her bones to davy jones
Elle BMake her be you servant
Samara GBe gone matey
Ady FMake her walk the plank
NoahStick her in a cave
AmonWe have to make him pay
TaylorFeed him to the sharks
KiduseHang her by her toes
Madison WI want ice cream!
SCENE 3 (PG 21)
BrownbeardArrr! We caught you now, ye scurvy dog! No ye be shark bait for sure!
RedbeardAye! Make ‘er walk the plank
PurplebeardToss ‘er overboard
GreenbeardArr! Feed ‘er to the fish, the bubble blowing blaggard!
All PiratesHey! Watch your language
GreenbeardOh, sorry. Got carried away, I guess
YellowbeardBelay, me addled hearties! Can’t be makin’ this decision all by ourselves
BlackbeardAye! You’re right, yellowbeard. This is a decision for you-know-who
RainbowWhom?
Blackbeardyou know who…
DalmatianWhom?
Blackbeardyou know who..
ZebraWHAT?
BluebeardWHERE?
RainbowWHY?
DalmatianWHEN?
Z, BB, D, & R(show pause, laughter)…..HOW!
BlackbeardTHE KING OF THE HIGH “C’S” THAT WHOM!!! Gosh
All Piratesahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
StowawayThe King of the High “C’s”? Who’s that?
All PiratesWHAT?!
WhitebeardYou don’t know who the King of the High “’s” is?
Stowawayumm, ‘fraid not.
WhitebeardFeed her to the sharks.
BrownbeardThe King of the High “c’s” is the craftiest crooner of the Caribbean coast.
GreenbeardAye! The swellest singer of the Swashbucklin’ Sea!
RedbeardArr! The tastiest tenor from Tobago and Tahiti
StowawayThe King of the High “C’s” is a Singer?
All Pirates(with noses in the air an upper crust feeling) Precisely!
PurplebeardYe see, me squiffy, at the big pirate gathering in the big pirate sea, there is always a singing contest
Stowaway(shocked)A singing contest?
RainbowYou don’t know anything about Pirates, do ye?
WhitebeardAye! A singing contest! And all of the pirate ships put forward their best singers in hopes of winning the grand prize.
StowawayWhat’s that?
DalmatianYo ho ho! It’s a bottle of
Yellowbeard(cutting him off) Sarsaparilla!
StowawayBlimey!
ZebraBlimey…spoken like a true pirate!
StowawayReally?!
All PiratesNOT! (They all laugh at her)
StowawayCan I meet him? Can I really meet the King of the High “C’s”?
BluebeardMeet him you will, ye scallywag! He’ll be the one deciding your fate. And let me warn you, he doesn’t take kindly to stowaways.
BrownbeardAye! Especially if ye can’t carry a tune!
GreenbeardHere he comes now. It’s the King of the High “C’s”
SONG 3: King of the High “C’s”
Sam WAnd sounds great in a shower stall
Ben MSome might say he is possessed
Cheveyo MI think it’s all a bit absurd
ALLAnd smells like a refinery
SCENE 4 (PG 29)
King(very pleased with himself and with a conceited attitude) Thank you! Thank you all! I am good, am I not?
No BeardsAye Aye! Your Majesty, the very best (rolls eyes)
KingOf course, I am!
BluebeardAye, your majesty! But we have a bit of a problem here.
KingWhat is it bluebeard?
BlackbeardWell sir, it seems we have a stowaway aboard
KingA stowaway? Shiver me timbers, this is not a problem. Send her bones to davy jones!
WhitebeardAye sir, but she says she wants to be a pirate sir.
KingOh really?
YellowbeardWe tried to explain that she couldn’t. We tried to tell her that the world could only stand one of you but…
King (cutting him off) Avast! Where is this so called “Stowaway”
PurplebeardHere she is, sir. Right here.
(two pirates lead the Stowaway forward, holding her arms and legs)
King This? This is the one who wants to be a pirate just like me?
StowawayAye! More than anything. Your Highness! More than anything!
King Ahoy! Ye got to be kidding! Make her walk the plank!
StowawayBut sir! I swear I could be a smashing pirate, if only you’d give me a chance!
King Let me hear you say “Blimey”
StowawayBlimey, Blimey, Blimey sir!
King Let me hear you say “Arrrrrrrrrrrr” (growling)
Stowaway(with gusto) Arrrrrrrrrrr!
King Not bad!
SONG 4: You wanna be a pirate
Michael GCan you swing a pirate-y cutlass?
Luke HDo you know the stem from the stern?
Zach GCan you plunder with one patch on your eye?
Grace S and Kira NCan you grow a scraggily beard?
SCENE 5 (pg41)
Stowaway(trying to say “Arrr” but sounding non-threatening) Arrg! Arrg!
King No G! no G!
Stowaway(with gusto) Arrrrrrrrrrr!
King More AH! Less RRR!
StowawayAhhhhhhhrrrrr ( the arr dwindles pathetically)
King Avast! I’ve heard enough! Mark her with a black spot and throw her in the brig with the rest of the prisoners
StowawayBut! But!
King To the brig!!
All PiratesTO THE BRIG!
Instrumental Interlude
They give the stowaway a badge that says “Black Spot” and take the stowaway to the brig where she is tossed in amongst a group of prisoner, all dirty and dressed in rags.
SCENE 6 (pg41)
Prisoner 1(in a sneering voice) My, My! What have we hear? Blimey! Looks like a stowaway.
Prisoner 2Aye! Looks good enough to eat
StowawayLeave me alone!
Prisoner 3(teasingly) Leave me alone
(Prisoners all Laugh)
Prisoner 4What are ye in for, mate?
(The see the black spot)
Prisoner 5(horrified) Ahhh! The black spot!
All Prisoners(in hushed awe)The black spot!
StowawayWhat? What does it mean – the black spot?
Prisoner 6It means you’re marked – marked for death.
StowawayNo!
Prisoner 1Yes!
StowawayNo!
Prisoner 2Yes!
Stowawayyes!
Prisoner 3No!
All PrisonersWhat?
Prisoner 4The black spot means when the sun comes up and choir rehearsal is over, there’s no doubt about it…
Prisoner 5(slowly) Ye…Walk…the…Plank!
StowawayBut how can that be? All I wanted was to be a pirate…a pirate just like them!
Prisoner 6Ye should have stayed at home with ye mother, mate. Ye ain’t no buccaneer!
Prisoner 7Now your hours are numbered for sure, me hearty. And it won’t be long ‘til you’ll be lyin in Davy Jones’s Locker.
StowawayDavy Jones’ Locker
Prisoner 7and remember…
All PrisonersDead men tell no tales.
StowawayBut I’m a girl
All PrisonersFine, Dead Women tell no tales.
StowawayHere I am at sea – where I always wanted to be. And Yet, I’ve never felt so lost and alone in my whole life.
SONG 5: Lost at Sea
SCENE 7 (pg 48)
ADDED SONG: Hey Ho, Nobody Home in 4 parts x3
Hey, Ho, Nobody Home
Meat nor drink nor money have I none
Yet will I be very, very merry
Hey, Ho, Nobody Home
King No remember, mates! It’s all about breath support! Breathe from your scurvied diaphragms!
BluebeardAye! And don’t forget round tones, me hearties! Round tone!
BlackbeardArr! We can’t lose this year. Not as long as we’ve got the Kingof the High “C’s” on out ide.
ALL(ad lib) That’s right!
King (singing an arpeggio, massaging his throat etc.) ah ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ahhhhh-Ah
ALLBeautiful!
King Thank you! Thank you very much! HIT IT!
SONG 6: Singing a Pirate Song:
3 part at the end. Group 1 – Pirates, Group 2 – Chorus, Group 3 - Prisoners
SCENE 8 (pg 55)
Yellow BeardIf ya don’t me me sayin’ so, Redbeard. I think you were singing a little flat!
Red BeardArr! Who you callin’ flat, ye good for nothing scallywag!
King (as before, sings his arpeggio)Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah(Then his glissando from low to high C) Ahh-hhh (but when he gets to the high note, his voice makes a terrible sound.)
BrownbeardBlimey! What the matter, King? Don’t be messin’ around with us!
BluebeardAy king! Don’t be jokin’. Tomorrow is the big day. You can’t be losin’ your voice now. You’re our ticket to first prize!
King(holding his throat, barely able to croak out a sound) Laryngitis!
BlackbeardWhat?
King(still in a hoarse voice) Laryngitis!
No BeardsWHAT?
King(In a loud clear voice) I’ve got Laryngitis, ye blaggards! How many times do I have to… (hoarse again) …tell you?
ALLLARYNGITIS? (IN SHOCKED AWE) BLIMEY!
PurplebeardWhat are we gonna do?
RainbowAye! What are gonna do
GreenArr! There goes the first prize
DalmatianYo ho ho, there goes our bottle of…
ALL PIRATESSARSAPARILLA!
Stowaway(sing in the distance) Lost at sea, lost at sea, tell me where I’m meant to be.
ZebraWhat was that?
Stowaway(still singing) hear my plea, set me free. Cause’ I’m lost, I’m lost at sea. .
BluebeardWhat was that?
WhitebeardWhy that’s the most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard.
PurplebeardAye! And it’s coming from the brig
RedbeardThe brig? Find out who it is! This might be the break we need.
(Brownbeard and bluebeard come in holding the stowaway)
BluebeardAha and Ahoy! It’s the stowaway! Tell me stowaway, was it you that we hear singing so melodiously? (sings) Lost at Sea! Lost at Sea!
Stowaway(forlornly) Aye sir! It was I! I guess I wasn’t very pirate – but I meant no disrespect!
Blackbearddisrespect? That’s the best singing we’ve ever hear on this ship!
(the king stomps his foot and clears his throat)
YellowbeardAye! Mate! Like Blackbeard said, that’s the best singing we’ve ever heard on this ship!
(the king crosses his arms in disgust)
WhitebeardAye! Now you MUST go with us to the pirate-singing contest. With your help, I know we can win!
StowawayDo you really think so?
RainbowWell, there’s one way to find out.
Instrumental Interlude : Warm-up
All pirates sing a scale: “Do re me fa so la ti…” (they wait until the Stowaway finally sings a beautiful “high do” DO!
ALL PIRATESPERFECT!
King(hoarsely)Perfect
Stowaway(excitedly) Wow does that mean I get to be a full-blown pirate just like all of you?
DalmatianWell now, I don’t know about that.
Stowaway(crosses arms stubbornly) No pirate! No Sing!
GreenbeardAye, mateys! Join me in a pirate huddle!
(All pirates get into a huddle. There is a lot of talking and mumbling with looking over their shoulders. Finally they all say…)
ALL PIRATESONE! TWO! THREE! BREAK!
GreenbeardAfter much discussion, we have decided to ask you a few pertinent questions.
ALL PIRATESPERTINENT?
GreenbeardThat’s advanced pirate talk, ye scurvy dogs, for “important”
StowawayAsk away!
BrownbeardDo ye promise to never be lily-livered or ever say “wow” again?
StowawayWow! I mean AYE! I sure do!
BluebeardDo ye sear by you mothers honor that you’ll honor the pirate flag?
Stowaway (saluting) Aye, aye, captain ‘till me dying days!
BlackbeardDo ye sear to be the heartiest, swashbuckling buccaneer ever to sail the sea
StowawayAye! Aye! Aye!
WhitebeardThen by the powers vested in me, I proudly pronounce you a full-on, blow-me-down, shiver-me-timbers, pirate of the briny sea.
YellowbeardHip! Hip
ALLHOORAY!
YellowbeardHip! Hip
ALLHOORAY!
YellowbeardHip! Hip
ALLHOORAY!
SONG 7: REPRISE - PIRATES ALL ARE WE
BowsChorus, Prisoners, No-beards, Beards
King, Stowaway, Set design, Stage Crew
All