St Mary Magdalene

Spiritual Reflections

January 8, 2016

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not always easy. It can sometimes feel more painful to forgive than to suffer the original wound. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness. - Anonymous

We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies. -Martin Luther King, Jr.

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. -Mahatma Gandhi

Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life. -Joan Lunden

I learned a long time ago that some people would rather die than forgive. It's a strange truth, but forgiveness is a painful and difficult process. It's not something that happens overnight. It's an evolution of the heart. -Sue Monk Kidd

The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget. -Thomas Szasz

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. - Lewis B. Smedes

I think that if God forgives us we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise, it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than Him. ― C.S. Lewis

  1. Do any of these quotes ring true for you? Why?
  1. What is forgiveness? What does it look like, in reality (as opposed to what it might be, in theory)?
  1. How often should we forgive the same person for the same behaviour? Does it matter if the person is a stranger, a friend, a family member, a child?
  1. Are there any behaviours that should not be forgiven?
  1. If you forgive someone, are you condoning the offense?
  1. Should we forgive if the offender isn’t sorry/apologetic? If an apology is needed, does it need to be overt (spoken or written), or can it be demonstrated by actions? What kind of actions might show an apology?
  1. How do you forgive someone who is no longer with us (perhaps not in our lives any longer, or even after they have died?) Can you forgive someone without their knowing it? If so, what does that look like?
  1. If you forgive, must you forget? What happens if you continue to remember the hurt- isn’t remembering the same as holding a grudge?
  1. For whose benefit do we forgive? What benefits are found in forgiveness, and what losses are suffered in not forgiving?
  1. Do you find it hard to truly forgive? If so, why is it hard? If it is easy for you to forgive, why do you think that is?