Loving Relationships
Here’s the challenge. If we take the YFC mission seriously we realize that the change that we seek to bring about in young people is of the supernatural variety. Unless we cooperate with the Spirit of God our best efforts to develop lifelong followers of Jesus will fall short.
When it comes to biblical truth, creativity is not nearly as important as discovery. All innovative program methodologies should submit to—and not overshadow—timeless biblical principles. The 5 ESSENTIALS are means to help us be faithful, attentive and responsive to the transforming power of the Holy Spirit in the lives of young people.
ESSENTIAL: Loving Relationships
We consistently pursue lost kids and engage them in lifelong relationships with Jesus.
Prayer requests move from the broad, general variety to specific detail when we live among those for whom we seek God’s renewal. And since our obligation of love is the “up close and personal” variety (Romans 13:8; James 2:5-10; 1 John 3:11-18), it only makes sense that our generous love of young people will inform our prayer activity for them.
The love of God is a transformational powerhouse for all who come into contact with it, especially those—like teens—who hunger for meaningful relationships. Youth ministers are emissaries of a God whose love is both undeserved and inescapable (John 3:16; Romans 5:8; 8:31-39). One of their chief roles is to initiate and facilitate loving relationships for young people. Pursuing garden-variety social goals to describe a youth group—like “friendly,” nice, or “fun”—too often domesticates adolescent experiences with Christians. The love of God is a force to be reckoned with, and no amount of program creativity or activities can match its impact in the life of a young person. In fact, youth ministry strategies must be ordered to deliver—rather than dilute—the radical love of God.
Youth for Christ’s mission is in the evangelism wing of youth ministry. We apply this focus by consistently pursuing lost kids and engaging them in lifelong relationships with Jesus. This application correctly recognizes that one of the features of God’s love is that it takes initiative. Jesus punctuated his encounter with Zaccheus by reminding those who questioned his actions that he came to “seek and save” the lost (Luke 19:1-9). We are called to follow his pattern (John 20:21), propelled to pursue young people by the aggressive love of God (2 Corinthians 5:14).
Among other things, this means that the transformational work of youth ministry substantially takes place in the world of young people. Where do they live and hang out? Schools, athletic events, coffee shops, fast food places, malls, social networks on the web…the possibilities are endless. But meeting them in their world, showing interest in what’s important to them, and discovering their stories is how God’s love can break through to teens.
The ensuing challenge is to build a community where God’s love nurtures and gives a foundation to young people (Ephesians 3:16-19; Philippians 1:9-11). The more we are able to populate these environments with diversity—including age, gender, ethnicity, economic backgrounds, musical interests, social status—the more dramatically it testifies to how divine love smashes barriers, invigorates life and reveals the glory of God (John 13:34-35; Acts 2:42-47; Galatians 5:2-15; 1 Thessalonians 4:9-12). As befitting the priority of the Great Commandment, extraordinary change can be expected when people carrying the love of Jesus surround a teen (Mark 12:28-34).
(Section adapted excerpt from a Christian education book chapter in publication for Zondervan, edited by Dr. Ron Habermas)
Why Love is Bigger Than YFC
When we love as Jesus taught we build the Kingdom of God, a guarantee that our work won’t be wasted.
The challenge to us as believers is to not only love as Jesus taught, but to love as He loved. Most often when individuals speak of Jesus’ love the tendency is to refer to what is known as the “golden rule.” “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” And the second is like it. “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matt. 22:37, 39) People who don’t profess to know Christ in a personal way quote the second portion “love your neighbor as yourself” on a regular basis with familiarity. So what is different about Christ’s love?
Jesus goes on to tell us in the gospel of John “A new commandment I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” How did He love? His love was unfailing, unconditional, and forgiving. This kind of love takes supernatural ability. In every gospel, the first time Jesus addresses love is in reference to our dealing with an enemy or someone who is not treating us nicely. In Matthew 5:43-45 Jesus is quoted saying: “You have heard that it was said, Love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.” The only way we can become a son of the Father in heaven is to be born of His Spirit. Could he be telling us that the way to loving relationships must be born out of his Spirit?
Jesus told his disciples (who had been walking with each other in close relationship for three years) “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:35) In the setting Jesus demonstrates humility and service toward a brother and teaches us how we flesh out our love. These young men were caught up in jealousy, envy, and pride about who would be the greatest. For us to grow in this kind of love when we walk together in ministry will take our being connected to God through prayer. May our rich prayer lives together position us to show unfailing, unconditional, and unfailing love to our brothers and sisters in Christ, overflowing to the youth and families in our communities we are called to serve.
How Loving Relationships is a Dirt Practical YFC Expectation
If love is important to our jobs, it’s worth being held accountable for how well we’re doing.
Here are the metric standards that we will use to help us achieve the goal of Loving Relationships. At each ministry site we will ask the following progression of questions: How many young people can potentially be engaged through this ministry site? How many different young people have connected to YFC programs or persons through this ministry site? How many different young people—Christian or non-Christian when first engaged—have 3Story relationships with adult mentors through this ministry site? How many non-Christian young people have now decided to begin lifelong relationships with Jesus through this ministry site? How many NEW Christians from this ministry site are now involved in the fellowship of a local church? How many Christian young people are engaged as leaders in 3Story relationships with their peers?
What are some things you can do to make sure you are always improving in Loving Relationships?
First, do your homework. Know how many teens are in your pool of kids. This should be known for your total ministry area and for each specific ministry site. Keep these numbers in front of you and in prominent places. Share these numbers with everybody. Make sure every leader involved knows the number. But just the number isn’t the goal – the heart of each individual in that number is where we want to get near!
Once this figure is known, then the task of getting near and knowing young people should begin. If there are 9 or 95 or 950 at the school, institution, or community - start meeting kids!
Getting near enough to love kids happens by being in the territory where kids are (school, sporting events, performances, institution, neighborhood), taking initiative to meet a teen (“Hi, I’m Jeff, what’s your name?”), and finding ways to be around them in places where more significant conversations on spiritual topics can be initiated (“I’d like to invite you to next week’s Campus Life, are you busy? “Want to go to the Colorado mountains with us this summer?”). Major components of establishing loving relationships are intentional actions, time, and shared experiences.
Paid and volunteer leaders should be encouraged to initiate a 1-1 time invitation with a teen at every group meeting. Inviting students to check out a small group is another significant way to go deeper with teens. Statistics prove that any participation in a trip / camp / retreat, dramatically improves the acceptance of the truth of God by a non-Christian young person.
One ministry counts a teen “connected to YFC” when a young person is known by name, face, and heart (where they are spiritually with Jesus) by a paid or volunteer leader. This kind of connectedness can only happen as we “consistently pursue lost kids and engage them in lifelong relationships with Jesus.”
Points to Emphasize When Teaching Loving Relationships
Ø Why the love of God is powerfully different from being relationally warm.
Ø How the love of God is demonstrated by our consistent pursuit of lost kids.
Ø How the love of God is revealed when our individual differences become less important than being in lifelong relationships with Jesus together.
Ø CORE TEAM: Teach how to best accomplish the metric standards. It’s a lot!
-written by Rahn, Rochester & Ringenberg (Spring 2007)