Chapter 1
Strangers came to my house at nights. We lived in a five-story apartment building. Each floor had two suites, with their doors facing each other in just few steps away. It was not common when an apartment building of five to have an elevator, but we were lucky to own one, especially when we lived on the highest floor of it.
But this was not the only “suite” we had, and this was not the one for strangers. Like all our neighbors did, To be exactly, to the house my father built another unit on the rooftop of the five-level building which we lived at the highest level. Because we owned the top-level flat, it was natural that we also owned the rooftop. Even it was illegal to build an addition, it seemed to be a custom to create more space up high, as a cheap rental, a small business, or a house for ourselves.
We didn’t sleep in that house, though. Neither did we rent it to a student or sell goods up there. We made it but someone else’s home:did:our Gods. In the religion of polytheistic Taoism, deities were originated from heaven and from hell, from ocean and from land, from folklore and from actual personage. In the house, dozens of statues of different Gods were placed in the house. Three of them were as tall as a person, standing or sitting on the Chinese Altar against the wall. They were the main Gods. In the middle was 媽祖, Mazu, the most common Goddess of Taoism in Taiwan. This statue of Mazu was crafted in a sitting posture with a chair, painted in golden color, covered in a dragon robe, and put on a phoenix coronet. Her face was kindly, and when she was happy, you could even feel her smile. On the right side was 關聖帝君, Guān Shèng Dì Jun, or Saintly Emperor Guan. As a general, he was the symbol of bravery and royalty. There were three different postures of the statue: sitting, standing or riding a horse. Ours was standing, with his left hand holding his beard and the other hand holding the green dragon crescent blade. On the left side was 玄天上帝, Xuán Tiān Shàng Dì, or Supreme Emperor of the Northern Heaven. He was the God of Polaris, he led us the way and protected us throughout the road. He sit on a rock hilltop, symbolized the integral with Earth. He held the Big Dipper sword on the right, meaning to cut off the three sins of desire, anger and ignorance; on the left hand he adopted the Bebal Mudra, guiding people the way to heaven; under his feet he step on a serpent and a tortoise, not only symbolized that good triumphs over evil, but also meant that all these thought would eventually under his control and became his support.
In front of them were some With rest of smaller statues ahead of them, guarded them. They might be the main Gods at other places, but here in this house they were the guardians. In front of all statues were the censers, lamps, cups of holy water and candles.
This illegally builded sixth floor was not just a simple house. It was a temple. My family owned a temple.
At days, believers came to worship. They pushed the elevator button, took it to the fifth floor, passed by my house door, walked the stairs to the rooftop, and the most weird part was over. Entering the temple, like going to every other temples, they bought the paper money and the incense from the stand, or brought out their own with the offerings. And they light up three sticks of the incense, held the bottom of them, faced God, prayed, and bowed. Then they stick the incense into the censer, put their palms together, and bowed again. I couldn’t be more familiar with all these rituals. I watched people do it everyday, and I do it by myself many, many times.
But things were different at nights. When believers worshiped, they wanted Gods to help them, bless them. Sometimes, however, they were eager to know the directions. They were more worried, like patients, or greedier, like gamblers. But they were all lost. They need the immediate answer from God, and they need God to TELL them.
So here came my grandmother and my uncle, the jīshēn, psychics, and my father, the explainer. They called this “inquiring”, which believers came with their questions, and the spirit of God possessed psychic’s body to answer. Sometimes I was allowed to watch, watch when the sandalwood powder was burned, my grandmother or uncle started retching, shaking, and suddenly became “somebody else”. I didn’t believe that at first, even I was just a kid. But after seeing my uncle walked and talked like an ancient lady, or my grandmother jumped and giggled like a little boy, or, after the inquiring ended, their exhausting, memoryless faces. To me It was not magical anymore, it’s factual.
Most of the times I couldn’t join the rites. Not because of the people, nor the place. Simply because it was too late, and I had to wake up early the next day to go to school. Even I knew my parents were just upstairs, when my little sister was asleep, I felt all along. Several nights I couldn’t sleep, because the sounds of chanting, drums and gongs right above my head was too loud to reminded me that “God is there”. I was relieved I didn’t need to be with them, since every time when I was under the dense smoke and the heavy smell of the burning sandalwood powder, I was afraid that I would lose my consciousness, like my grandmother or uncle lost theirs. Yet I was anxious I weren’t with them, I didn’t want to be left if my family were “in another world”.
When these thoughts came to my mind, I always took out the Walkman my mom bought me, put on the earphone, played the pop songs, and listened to sleep.
I was awed by my our own God.