Defining Friendship - Page - 1 –
Defining Friendship - Page - 1 –
Objective:
To learn how to demonstrate friendship by studying some of the positive and the negative examples of friendship revealed in the book of Job.
Four thousand years ago, “There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job; and that man was perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil” (Job 1:1). This was not just the reputation that he had, but this was the testimony that none other than God Almighty had about Job – “And the LORD said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil?” (Job 1:8).
We know the story – in fact, we know more about what happened than Job did – how that God allowed Satan to destroy Job’s ten children, his multitude of flocks and herds, and ultimately to take away Job’s health. When we come to chapter two, the picture of the man presented to us is not one of a prosperous sheik or even of a pious saint, but the picture we see as we look at this shaven, shell of a man sitting upon the ground scraping his boils with a piece of broken pottery is that of a pitiful sufferer.
His wife felt utterly helpless and unable to utter any word of hope or consolation; “Then said his wife unto him, Dost thou still retain thine integrity? curse God, and die” (Job 2:9). If anybody ever needed a friend and a display of friendship, it was Job in this hour. Unfortunately reality sometimes presents an inadequate response to our need.
Let’s notice first...
1. “The Presence Of A Friend”
Job 2:11
(A Friend’s Support)
(Job 2:11) Now when Job's three friends heard of all this evil that was come upon him, they came every one from his own place; Eliphaz the Temanite, and Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite: for they had made an appointment together to come to mourn with him and to comfort him.
A. Making A Decision To Support A Friend
Either on their own or in a united way (the word “together” suggests a collective decision), these three friends “had made an appointment together to come to mourn with him and to comfort him.” The first step in their journey was to decide to go, to go “mourn with” and“ comfort” their friend.
B. Measuring The Distance To See A Friend
It would certainly have been easier for Eliphaz to stay in Teman. It would have been much more convenient for Bildad to have stayed in Shuah and for Zophar to have stayed in Naamah. For any of these men the journey to Uz would have been 50 to 100 miles at the very least. For each of these men it could easily have taken a week to make this trip. But they determined that the distance was inconsequential when compared to the necessity of their mission. How their resolve and sacrifice condemns us when we refuse to even drop a thoughtful card in the mail or exert ourselves by picking up the phone to reach out to a friend in need.
Discussion:
Suggest some ways that we can be sympathetic and supportive when our friends are going through difficult times.
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2. “The Pity Of A Friend”
Job 6:14
(A Friend’s Sympathy)
(Job 6:14) To him that is afflicted pity should be showed from his friend...
A. Job Was Desirous For Their Sympathy
Again, we are familiar enough with this story to know that when Job’s three friends arrived, after seven days of silence, they did not mourn with him or comfort him. On the contrary, they repeatedly accused him of having some sin in his life that had caused these calamities. Job didn’t need their self-righteous perception; he needed their pity. In chapter six, verse fourteen; he said that pity was the proper response to his affliction. Job is so broken and hurt that in Job 19:21, he cries out in his desperation and says, “Have pity upon me, have pity upon me, O ye my friends; for the hand of God hath touched me.” The young bystander Elihu was even frustrated with their callous behavior - (Job 32:3) “Also against his three friends was his wrath kindled, because they had found no answer, and yet had condemned Job.”
B. They Were Devoid Of Sympathy For Him
Rather than embracing his sorrow and extending their sympathy, the three friends (and as it has been said, with friends like these, who needs enemies?), instead of showing pity, Job said they dug a pit for him. “Yea, ye overwhelm the fatherless, and ye dig a pit for your friend” (Job 6:27). Consider these other statements that Job made about the sympathetic deficiencies of his friends:
(Job 16:20) My friends scorn me: but mine eye poureth out tears unto God.
(Job 19:14) My kinsfolk have failed, and my familiar friends have forgotten me.
(Job 19:19) All my inward friends abhorred me: and they whom I loved are turned against me.
3. “The Prayers Of A Friend”
Job 42:10
(A Friend’s Supplication)
A. By Praying For His Friends, Job Revealed His Superior Love
(Job 42:7-8) And it was so, that after the LORD had spoken these words unto Job, the LORD said to Eliphaz the Temanite, My wrath is kindled against thee, and against thy two friends: for ye have not spoken of me the thing that is right, as my servant Job hath. {8} Therefore take unto you now seven bullocks and seven rams, and go to my servant Job, and offer up for yourselves a burnt offering; and my servant Job shall pray for you: for him will I accept: lest I deal with you after your folly, in that ye have not spoken of me the thing which is right, like my servant Job.
The Lord was confident that Job would respond to his friends with more compassion and concern than they had responded to him. The Lord was certain as He spoke to Eliphaz that “my servant Job shall pray for you.” Job’s love for his friends excelled in expression and action their love for him. He would not be guilty of becoming a “fair weather” friend.
Discussion:
As we pray for others, what types of things do we need to pray for?
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Discussion:
List some of the results in our own lives of praying for others.
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B. By Praying For His Friends, Job Released His Shackled Life
(Job 42:10) And the LORD turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before.
How fascinating that the turning point for Job was moving beyond a self-centered focus and reaching out to others. Because Job refused to be bound by animosity towards his friends because of their lack of sympathy, neither would he be any longer bound and captivated by his circumstances.
Too often we determine the value of friendship by what we get out of it, but the Bible says, “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly” (Proverbs 18:24).
May God help us not to be selfish friends, but sympathetic, sharing friends!
Directive: To display friendship by becoming a present, pitiful (full of pity and sympathy), praying friend.
Defining Friendship - Page - 1 –