Collaborate with children about their interests
Consult children using a range of communication forms
Positive communication
Interaction is a two-way process which values the input, feelings and intentions of both parties. As a person involved in the development of young children, your responsibility is to ensure each child and family is effectively included and valued in every possible way. Modelling good communication skills and empowering children with the ability to make decisions and resolve conflicts will help children form positive relationships and manage their own behaviour.
To communicate successfully, children need to have the opportunity to explore their thoughts, opinions and feelings, in a shared interaction with another person.
If communication is positive, children will feel valued by others and this will impact on the way the children think about themselves. These opportunities will help develop positive self-concept and self-esteem. Another important outcome of positive communication is that children will begin to model their behaviour on the behaviour displayed by those around them.
The importance of the way carers communicate with children cannot be under-estimated. It is a vital part in ensuring that:
• children have positive care experiences
• their daily needs are met
• the atmosphere within the service remains pleasant and relaxed for everyone.
Accreditation standards
You should refer to the NCAC accreditation principles to see how these relate to interactions with children at http://www.ncac.gov.au/
Communication
Children use communication skills (both verbal and non-verbal) to:
• access the ideas and guidance of others
• refine and test their own ideas and to form social relationships.
Children’s communication and language skills relate directly to how much adults:
• treat them as partners in conversation
• listen actively and respond
• initiate interactions where necessary
• maintain conversations and communicate courteously.
Good communication is based on respect and trust.
One of the most important things we can do for children is to help them develop a positive sense of worth or self-esteem. We can do this through modelling behaviour that is accepting and caring towards them. As a carer of children, it is important that we show children that we are interested in them, we enjoy their company and that we respect and value the contributions they make.
The way in which we communicate with children is a very powerful way to do this.
In your actions towards children, convey positive messages such as the ones below:
• I’m special. I’m quite unique.
• Sometimes I am different from other people. At other times, I’m the same. It’s OK to be different.
• It’s alright not to be able to do certain things well. I try my best—and that’s important.
• I am respected. I will learn how to respect other people.
• I have ideas, thoughts and feelings that are important. Other people’s ideas, thoughts and feelings are important too.
• I am a likeable and loveable person. I feel good about myself.
• I need to be honest about myself.
• I am not perfect—but that’s OK.
• I always try my best to do what I think is right.
Activity 1
Ways to communicate with children
What do you need to consider when communicating with children?
You should:
Listen carefully to what children are saying.
• Check that you understand what the child means.
• Use words and sentences that the child can understand.
• Be interested in what children are saying, by accepting their ideas, interests and feelings.
• Model the behaviours you want to encourage.
• Think about both verbal and non-verbal communication.
• Consider will the communication be enjoyable?
• Make sure the communication is honest.
Activity 2
Using appropriate non-verbal communication
Compare these two situations:
1. You arrive home to find your housemate sitting at the kitchen table, shoulders hunched and head down. On hearing you arrive, he quickly looks up, glares at you and says, ‘Thank you for doing the washing up’.
2. You arrive home find your housemate lying on the lounge with his eyes closed. On hearing you arrive, he slowly looks up and says, ‘Thank you for doing the washing up’.
Which scenario gives you the idea that you have actually done the washing up? What is the difference between the two settings?
Did you think the second one gave you the idea that the washing up had been done? The sarcasm in the first one indicates that the washing up had not been done. Your flatmate was actually feeling upset in this case. The conversation is the same and yet the meaning is quite different.
Now compare these two situations:
1. Tran has spilt the milk on the floor. He has gotten some paper towel and is mopping it up. You walk over to him, crouch down to his level, smiling, and say, ‘Have you had a little accident?’
2. Tran has spilt the milk on the floor. He has gotten some paper towel and is mopping it up. You walk over to him, stand with your arms folded and look down at him, frowning. ‘Have you had a little accident?’
The conversation is the same and yet the meaning through body language and tone is quite different.
It has been suggested by research that as much as 65% of the meaning of any conversation is conveyed through the body language of those involved. As adults, we may not be conscious that we ‘read’ body language but many of us have had conversations where things didn’t feel right, where we felt uncomfortable and were not able to trust the person we were talking with. There will have been times when we have chosen to say one thing when our feelings and body language were saying another. Children are also able to use and understand body language, even if they are not able to explain it.
Monitoring non-verbal communication
It is important to remember that children learn so much about their world by watching everything around them, including the interactions between carers and other children. Carers must insure that they demonstrate a consistent interest in all children in their care, to reinforce a child’s feeling of trust and respect.
It is important to show acceptance of all children.
Activity 3
People have their own ‘comfort zone’. If other people get too close, some people may feel uneasy, wanting to move away. For others there does not appear to be this concern. Children can often experience the same feelings. Perhaps depending on their mood, they may enjoy close contact with an adult and then there will be times when they would prefer to have their own space away from everyone.
It is important to monitor children’s reactions to both verbal and non-verbal communication strategies, such as hugging, physical contact or making eye contact with an adult. It is important that we talk with parents to find out what strategies are used in the child’s home and which reflect the child’s background and culture.
Activity 4
Interact and collaborate with all children in the service on a regular basis
Working collaboratively applies to all children—all children can be consulted. However, the type, style and amount of consultation will vary depending on a number of factors—eg, the age of the child, the child’s special needs and ability and the family’s culture. Workers’ responsiveness to babies’ cues prepares them for choice and decision making as they grow and develop.
What does it mean to collaborate with children?
The Australian Early Childhood Code of Ethics (1990) states that staff should acknowledge the uniqueness and potential of every child and enhance the strengths, competence and self-esteem of each child in their care.
Essential to the success of working collaboratively are:
• the basic understanding and acceptance that there is equality amongst those involved
• a respect of the uniqueness and the diversity of each individual.
The positive outcome of the collaboration depends upon the ability of each person to focus objectively on the process and the task to be completed.
Collaboration with a toddler (18 months–three years) can take place through a play experience in which they want to be involved or where they would like to play. It may include the plates and utensils they eat with and the clothes they choose to wear. Respecting their choice of sleeping preferences, comforters and preferred carers enhances their interest in co-operating.
Accreditation standards
Refer to the NCAC accreditation principles. The following are examples of high quality care.
Giving children access to a variety of resources and experiences allows them to choose the ones that interest them and match their competence levels. In both the indoor and outdoor environments, children need opportunities to self select equipment.
Children gain a greater understanding of their own competence if they are consulted on the equipment and materials available and where these are placed. Talking with toddlers and pre schoolers about the play space can be part of the daily, small-group experience and can include what happened there that day and what could be planned for the next day.
Indicators (or what you will do on the workplace) of high quality care for all children are:
• You will take an active but sensitive role in extending self-initiated play so that children feel competent in solving problems that require new skills.
• You will be creative in challenging children and the challenges are tailored to the competence levels and interests of individual children and small groups.
• Children’s suggestions and ideas about materials and experiences are consistently incorporated into the program.
• Small groups of children are encouraged to work together on their own projects.
• You will be sensitive to the varying levels of competence and confidence of all children and know when to offer challenge/choice/help and when not to.
• You will appreciate children’s efforts and encourage them to appreciate each other’s efforts as well.
Collaboration with children can take place at any time and includes all daily routines such as meal times, dressing and toileting.
Why collaborate with children?
This may seem a strange question to you, but history has shown that prior to the 1960’s children were not consulted. The indication was that little was known about the way children learn and develop skills in constructing their own knowledge through problem solving and consultation.
Grandfather: ‘In my day, no one asked me what I thought. I just had to learn everything off by heart. If I asked questions, I was interrupting or being rude.’
Mother: ‘I was talking to a woman who recently arrived in Australia who said that children in her culture were not encouraged to have opinions or to even be included in adults’ conversations.’
Young teenage daughter: ‘Sometimes we get to give ideas and opinions when we do projects at school but often we are told what to do. I think that you have to learn how to really collaborate with other people.’
Think about a time when you have collaborated with others (eg, planning a party, designing a holiday, involvement in a work project, etc.) How did you go about it? What processes did you use?
Did you think of any of the following?
• How were the ideas shared?
• How were points of view shared between the people involved?
• How readily were people able to compromise and accept changes in suggestions?
• How were conflicting opinions handled?
• How did each person show respect to the other/s in the group?
Encourage children to consider new ideas and interests that haven’t previously been catered for in the service
Following the child’s lead
As carers we sometimes think it is our role to direct children’s activity and conversations so that they have an ‘educational’ purpose. Sometimes we tend to ask questions that do not have any significance or interest for children. Unfortunately neither of these approaches encourage children to continue conversations or explore new ideas themselves.
Children need to see that we are genuinely interested in their thoughts and ideas. We can do this by listening attentively and asking specific questions about what the child has said. If you engage children in conversation that interests them and follow their lead, you will find that it will be easy to encourage continued conversation. Using open-ended questions that require more than a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer are the most appropriate here. For example; “What if …., When could ….., Why ……, or How…….?”
Activity 5
When you plan for experiences, it is normally with the individual needs of the children being observed and assessed in mind. You need to be aware that even the best-laid plans can go astray through no fault of anyone, but simply because the children did not feel like being a part of the experience.
Consider this example:
You have set up a very intricate corner of blocks and cars next to the home corner. Your intention is to provide activities that will enhance children’s cognitive skills. However, one of the children talks about how you could take the whole set-up outside into the sandpit. How would you react? Do you get disappointed?
It is important that you encompass a totally flexible approach to the situation. Rather than react negatively, comment about the great idea and ask the child how we could get it all outside.