Laura Glassanos
SESP
2-25-04
Paper #2
Children and Stress
February 25, 2004 will always be remembered in the mind of an innocent eight year old bystander. It was that day that her brother, Michael S. DeLarco was killed by an oncoming train traveling sixty-right miles per hour in Shaumburg. Michael, his mother, and eight year old sister, were exiting an eastbound train, when the westbound train failed to stop to let pedestrians cross. It is unclear if there were violations that were broken by either train driver that caused this accident. However, that is of the least concern to Michael’s family. They are busy trying to learn to cope with a lost child and brother.
Michael’s eight year old sister, whose name is not mentioned, was witness to her big brother stepping into his own coffin. Children are quite malleable objects in the grand scheme of things; however, an event like this in a child’s life will have many cognitive, emotional, and social impacts on development. Michael’s sister is eight years old, which classifies her in Piaget’s concrete-operational stage.
The social-emotional development of a child of eight years old is a crucial time. During this time period, these children have increasing awareness of how they compare with their peers. They often times look for self assurance by asking their mentors if they did something correctly. Michael’s sister might wonder why this tragedy happened to her family. The book also points out that although these middle-childhood-aged children are aware of other people’s feelings, they have the tendency to oversimplify the nature of their mental states. His sister would realize that her parents were obviously distraught. However, she would not understand the complexity of their emotions. She would classify them as sad, when there are millions of emotions that parents would feel, including grief, regret, remorse, pain, etc. Children in middle-childhood have increasing empathy for others that are suffering or needy, however don’t quite have the capacity to comprehend and/or express all of the emotions that they feel. Empathy is the capacity to experience similar the same feelings as another person, especially in pain or distress. She would understand the universality of death, but may not be able to physically express her emotions.
A disruption in the life of an eight year old, for example, in this case the death of a brother, also affects cognitive development. A child in Piaget’s concrete-operational period becomes increasingly able to logically think through problems about a person or object, however, only when the person/object is present. An eight year old can not abstractly reason about something. Michael’s sister then, realizes that he is gone, perhaps understands death, but may not be able to look into the future and work through the consequences that his death will have in her life. Piaget talks a lot about schemes, or a group of similar actions or thoughts. Before the death of her brother, Michael’s sister had a certain scheme that trains fall into, for example, a mode of transportation. After this accident, it is very likely that trains will have a new meaning for her. Through accommodation, trains may now be in a new scheme, perhaps related to danger or death.
The social effects of seeing her brother die are infinite. Each child has a different temperament, and handles problems in their own way. Michael’s sister could become severely isolated, afraid to attach herself to anyone in fear that she may lose them. This will affect her throughout her entire life, with friendships, lovers, and family members. She may develop a phobia of trains due to the traumatic experience that she has experienced with them, perhaps making her uncomfortable being on a train or maybe even in the presence of a train. It is possible that the effects could be so severe as to dissuade her from wanting to have children, in fear that she might ever have to experience the pain that she saw her parents go through. For other children, they might cope in a more positive way. They could start a fund in memory of their lost brother, or make a scrapbook to remember the good memories of him.
Because each child has a different way of handling their emotions, each child will have a different intervention method. A child experiencing a stressor this severe, as the loss of a sibling, might seek counseling. Counseling would allow the child to talk freely about how they feel, and the child might even find a person that they can begin to trust in their counselor. I think one of the most important interventions in a case like this would be to stress to the parents the importance of family bonding. Michael is gone now, and they must now accept their family as it is, without him. A child will not be able to move on past an experience like this unless they accept that it has happened. A child who is typically internal probably will not want to talk to anyone; however I think it is important to stress that that can talk to someone about it, but at the same time, it is important not to force them.
Michael’s sister is unfortunately another child who will have more on their plate than was intended. Her development cognitively and social-emotionally will not be the exact same as all children her age, and so it is important that people in her life understand what she has been through, and accept her and her developmental differences.