Chapter 16 Video Case: Better Manners = Better Communication
Success on the job and in personal lives depends a great deal on social skills and good manners. Working on three areas—communication, kindness, and self-confidence—can help you become that person you want to be. That’s the advice of Susan Fitter, founder of a company called Global Manners, who gives seminars to professionals on manners and communication and appears on television talk shows and specials, like The Learning Channel’s Mind Your Manners. .
Improving personal verbal communication starts with “talking less, listening more,” Fitter says. Paying attention puts the focus on the other person and shows good manners. Fitter teaches people to use reflective listening skills, which include making eye contact, nodding, smiling, and responding with comments such as “What I’m hearing you say is,” “So, you’re saying that . . .” and “What you mean is this, is that right?” Such statements provide a reality check and make communication more effective.
Reflective listening also demonstrates respect and kindness toward another person. Everyday social interactions provide a good opportunity to put kindness into action. Fitter advises us to compliment those who help us as part of their job or to catch someone’s eye and say hello, even if you don’t know the person.
Sending a handwritten note, perhaps to thank someone, displays kindness as it effectively communicates on a personal level. Fitter is a proponent of using e-mail and text messaging and uses both media frequently. “It’s still communication,” she says. She recommends sending an e-mail or text message if writing a personal note by hand will delay or prevent your communication. Better yet, people should make the time for phone calls. Fitter points out that regularly calling family and friends, even those we haven’t talked to in a long time, is an act of kindness and communication that will reward both the caller and the recipient.
Nonverbal communication is also important professionally and socially. Fitter emphasizes the advantage people have if they show self confidence when greeting others. Eye contact and a firm handshake with hands clasped web-to-web for two pumps make a good impression.
Questions
1. Why does Susan Fitter emphasize the receiver’s role in face-to-face communication?
2. What does Susan Fitter’s advice illustrate about the richness of various media?
3. Why does a communication expert like Susan Fitter instruct people in how to shake hands?
- How effective was this video in conveying its message? Discuss how well the interviewer and guest performed their roles as senders to each other and the viewing audience and their roles as receivers.
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