Cameron Boushehri
TREATMENT
Inspector Whatever is the tale of a lowdown, lazy, careless, amateur, wannabe sleuth who solves any single crime, theft, murder, and whodunit mystery he can find big or small. Everyone in the city of New York detests him because of his rudeness, dry attitude and carelessness, even though his stupidity and clumsiness always accidentally leads him to solving the case. They just take him for granted because of his cheap price.
He always starts out rearing to go to solve the case but a few minutes later, he always gets caught up in another predicament that leads him astray from the task at hand. He normally gets led on a wild goose chase on his current situation. But coincidentally, his predicament leads him right back to his original mystery and he solves it in the most improbable, ridiculous way. In the end, just when the people think about congratulating him for his accomplishment, he causes another screw-up or mess that aggravates them even further, but he leaves knowing that his job is done.
Throughout the series, he encounters many different challenging mysteries that test his clumsiness and laziness to the max. He travels all around New York from Central Park, to The Metropolitan Museum of Art to even the top of TheEmpire State Building. At the end of the season, he comes up with his most challenging case yet that even his own accidental bungling won’t help him solve it. Because he causes his biggest screw-up, everyone hates him and sees him as a failure. This causes him to change his ways and become a better detective. So he wises up and uses his head for the first time which leads him to discovering the culprit of the crime. This time, he uses his clumsy skills on purpose and successfully solves the case. Everyone sees him in a different light and congratulates him on being the best detective in the entire eastern seaboard. But despite that, he still doesn’t change his lazy, clumsy ways.
EPISODE 1-
The inspector gets a call about a woman’s purse stolen while strolling in Central Park. She was sitting on a bench feeding the ducks when her purse mysteriously vanished. She thinks someone stole it while she wasn’t looking. IW takes the case just to get out of his filthy office. When he reaches the park, he instantly gets distracted by a flock of ducks stealing his sandwich. This leads him to a wild “duck” chase throughout the park. Because a duck ate his sandwich, he has no brain food, so he tries to order a hot dog from a vendor but then a monkey from a music vendor steals his hot dog. This causes him to get in a fight with that monkey. The two monkey slap each other for hours until he drops. After the monkey is gone, he notices something odd. Many other different animals are stealing food and other items from people and taking them to a secret area. He follows them to a meeting of park animals and discovers the shocking truth, Central Park animals are holding an organized crime ring of food and loot thefts! He reveals himself telling him they’re all under arrest but is easily outnumbered. He comes up with a plan to lead them all into a trap, he sets up a popcorn vendor which leads them all into it but it was a makeshift cage that traps them. He recovers all the stolen items including the woman’s purse to all the victims while the animals are sent to animal rehab. At the end of the day, he sits down and tries to enjoy his sandwich but suddenly an apple falls on his head from a tree which causes him to trip over a branch and fall into the pond. He vows to stay away from parks forever.
Episode 2-
The inspector gets another call from The Metropolitan Museum of Art. Someone has stolen a priceless painting. The only clues are a pamphlet for an art activist community that encourages people to express their feelings in art. Art makes no sense to IW so he loafs around the museum scrounging for more clues. He soon becomes entranced by all the different weird-looking art. They start becoming weirder and weirder that he starts to be frightened by them and runs away but he accidentally slips and crashes into a wall and falls unconscious. While he’s asleep, he has a weird dream that he’s in a fantasy art world. He encounters abstract Picasso-like people and Van Gogh landscapes. When he tries to talk to them, they all speak in Italian. “Great,” he says. “I’ve wandered into Little Italy.” He then meets a strange short painting character that talks backwards but sounds like he’s talking forwards. He says “Art Community, take paint, is fraud.” He then wakes up having a sudden realization. He heads towards the art community group and exposes them as the painting thieves. He reveals that their community is a sham to steal priceless artworks and cheat people of their money. The inspector does it again. When asked how he knew, he responds he had help from the artwork themselves. While he was walking out, he encounters a familiar-looking short person who sounds like he’s talking backwards. He gets startled thinking that dream was real and runs away fast.
Episode 3-
The inspector’s at it again. This time the Empire State Building is in danger of a bomb hidden by a mysterious mad bomber somewhere in the building and set to go off in six hours. The inspector willingly accepts the case because the empire state is where he ate his first chili dog. He searches high and low for the bomb, he even searches through the men and women’s bathrooms, but to no avail. And just when things couldn’t get worse, he gets trapped in an elevator. He climbs out through the ceiling hatch and notices a strange beeping sound. He uses an old man’s hearing aid to increase his hearing in order to find it. He sees that the beeping is coming from the highest point in the building, the pike. He uses a flagpole to tie himself to and raise up to the point. He finds the bomb stuck on it. When he brings it down, he tries to disable it. But whenever he pulls out one wire, it keeps lowering the countdown. He gets aggravated and slaps it which made it worse. He then has an idea, he plugs a nearby iPod into the bomb and scrambles its circuits by playing loud obnoxious music. The bomb was defused and the empire state building is saved. All that’s left was the culprit. He tells everyone that the bomber is on this very floor. He decides to mention that he figured it out while being trapped in a janitor’s closet. But the building manager points out that he was trapped in an elevator. “Aha! Busted!” IW says. It turns out it was the empire state building’s manager who planted the bomb in order to damage it and collect a lot of insurance money just because he went broke on gambling. The people decide to celebrate on the top of the building. IW decides to take the iPod he found and play some music but once he unplugs it, the bomb starts up again! He frantically throws it over the side as it falls and lands on the mayor’s new car and explodes. “WHATEVER!!!” shouts the mayor as IW makes his escape down a trash chute. “Adiooooooooooooooooooooooos!!!! OW!”
Episode 4-
The mayor of New York is holding a fundraiser event for his reelection campaign. He needs a bodyguard and he surprisingly chooses IW because he’s a popular figure among the citizens, and he’s very expendable in case there’s an assassin. Throughout the event, the inspector tries to be on the lookout for suspicious people and protect the mayor but always mistakes assassins for normal people and causes a mess in front of the mayor. The mayor almost reaches his breaking point with him until a real assassin appears and tries to shoot the mayor. IW reacts and leads themselves to behind an alleyway. He clumsily causes a chain reaction that knocks the assassin out and saves the mayor. The mayor congratulates him by giving him a brand new car. IW gets so excited that he drives away happily then crashes it seconds later. The mayor realizes all his campaign money went into that car. “WHATEVER!!!!” “Exactly, whatever, forget about it,” he says as he runs away.
Episode 5-
It’s a bright sunny day in New York and everyone’s having a ball at Coney Island beach. The inspector’s there too because he’s busy counting every single grain of sand on the beach. Suddenly the beach gets hit by a swarm of shark attacks. The inspector knows that this is no coincidence and that someone must be plotting all these attacks. He unbelievably spots a shark in a trench coat and decides to follow him. He chases him to the amusement park and follows him on the roller coaster to the Wonder Wheel. He soon starts feeling sick from all those rides that he rushes to the restrooms but he mistakenly wanders into a janitor’s closet. That’s where he discovers a shark suit along with more shark suits. He overhears people outside that they’re the ones behind those shark attacks because they’re trying to scare away the Coney Island tourists in order to turn it into another megamall. IW gets the jump on them but they chase him to the docks. He makes them slip and fall into the water which a bucket of chum falls and attracts some real sharks that scares the criminals away. After the beach is saved, he goes to his sandwich which attracts a flock of seagulls and chases him into the water where a shark chases after him. That’s one place not to spend his summer.
Episode 6-
Pickpocket thefts in the New York subway transit line! IW is called to expose the culprits of this crime wave. But as usual, he gets distracted by trying to find his way around the subways. He accidentally gets sent from Grand Central Station to Brooklyn to Bronx and vice versa. He decides to forget riding the rails and jumps off the train leaving him lost in the subway tunnels. He soon gets attacked by a pack of rats who are after his cheese whiz. They chase him to a secluded tunnel where all the pickpocket thieves are based. One of them tries to shoot him in the chest but it was protected by his cheese whiz can which sprays cheese over the thieves and attracts a hoard of subway rats. They get chased into the station where the cops arrest them. Afterwards IW tries to take the subway back home but ends up in Hoboken, New Jersey. He’s definitely never taking the subway again.
Episode 7-
Broadway is being haunted by a real-life phantom of the opera. IW was just enjoying watching a musical directed by Rush Limbaugh, who is considered America’s living hernia. IW realizes he’s the only one here since everyone’s staying far away from it. Suddenly the phantom strikes kidnapping Limbaugh. Once he does, everyone fills up the theater now that Limbaugh’s gone. IW decides to watch a different show but every show he visits the phantom makes off with the star. This is starting to become a problem for him so he decides to track down the phantom and his victims. He wanders backstage which catches the attention of the security guards and chases him throughout the theater. He hides in an old abandoned basement which is the phantom’s lair. It turns out the phantom is really an old retired Broadway actor who’s kidnapped famous actors and directors in order to make him the star of his own greatest Broadway musical ever created. IW reveals himself which causes him to chase the phantom throughout Broadway. The two run through every stage show from Annie to The Lion King to Streetcar. They stop at A Chorus Line play where the audience looks at them compelling them to dance along with the dancers. IW accidentally trips the dances toppling them like dominos which brings down the whole set fortunately on the phantom. Thanks to the inspector’s capture, Broadway directors want to make a musical about IW, that causes everyone to run away screaming. “Nah, I wouldn’t make a good Ethel Merman anyway,” he says.
Episode 8-
NBC Studios is being mysteriously embezzled of its money. Without money, their long-running shows including The Tonight Show and Days of our Lives will be canceled, which happen to be IW’s favorite shows. He decides to investigate the studios by starring in those shows. He stars in The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, he gets into a silly conversation with Fallon mentioning his hobbies and shenanigans. He eventually gets in a fight with Hashtag the Panda. In his haste, he notices something that fell out of his panda costume, a hundred-dollar bill. Later, he appears in an episode of Days of our Lives, where he announces the culprit of these embezzlings. He reveals that it’s none other than Hashtag the dancing panda. He reveals that he wants to put NBC out of business because of all those humiliating moments of him being hurt and hyperventilated from all that dancing on Jimmy Fallon. Afterwards, they decide to make IW the new Hashtag, but soon after, he accidentally sets the whole set on fire because of his roller-skating and blowtorch juggling act.
Episode 9-
It’s Thanksgiving Day in New York and on that day the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade goes down to ring in the start of Christmas…shopping. But someone sinister has sabotaged the parade balloons and floats. IW gets on the case because he thinks that evil turkeys are sabotaging the parade to get revenge on the holiday. He examines all the floats and balloons and all he could find were hearing aids and prune juices. Those items point towards senior citizens but as usual, IW gets distracted by the winner of the Miss Universe pageant whose riding on the Tom Turkey float. She blows him off by slapping him in the face which causes him to stumble into an old man. The old man runs away from IW while he notices something odd about him. He saw that old man had band aids on his fingers covering what looked like knife cuts. That probably matches the damages done to the floats. He decides to follow him. He spots him in the crowd but the old man sees IW so he runs. The two run throughout the Macy’s building from the clothing department to the complaints department and stop at Santa’s workshop. IW has an idea, he throws reindeer chow at the old man which causes Dancer and Blitzen to catch him. The old man reveals that he planned on sabotaging the parade so he could be with his family. The parade was creating too much traffic which made him unable to reach his relatives. Feeling sorry for him, IW decides to invite him and his family on a ride on the Santa Claus float for the parade. It turns out to be a perfect Thanksgiving for everyone after all, until a mob of turkeys starts pelting the crowd with eggs. IW chases after them feeling hungry for a turkey leg.
Episode 10-
It’s the day of the New York City mayoral election and the current mayor is set on being reelected. IW volunteers on participating but the mayor didn’t want to risk him screwing everything up so he assigns him to doing bodyguard duty on his pet dog. The election goes underway and things are going smoothly, until a mysterious figure plants bacon on IW’s trench coat which causes the mayor’s dog to go bonkers and attack him. Soon he disrupts the mayor’s speech by going on stage trying to fend the dog off but accidentally bumps into the mayor which knocks him off the stage. The crowd gasps in shock and appalment. Soon mysterious figures kidnap the mayor and disappear into the crowd. The chief of NYPD says that the mayor’s been kidnapped because of IW’s buffoonery. The chief has always despised him because his screw-ups have given him loads of complaints and property damage fines and that this time he’s really stepped in it. The whole city boos and jeers at IW saying he really is the worst detective New York ever raised. He becomes saddened and ashamed. He finally realizes that he really is terrible at his job and that he should’ve went on to become a management consultant, like his uncle. That’s when he remembers all the stories about Sherlock Holmes and Sam Spade he used to read as a child, the pop-up book versions, that is. And that he should learn to be as serious and smart as them. So he gets back on his feet to rescue the mayor. He uses his head for the first time and searches for clues. He soon discovers that there are a number of shady people going in and out of an abandoned cannery. He goes inside and spots the kidnapped mayor. The mastermind appears and reveals himself to be none other than, the police chief! “NO WAY!” he shouts which blows his cover. The chief reveals that the inspector has always overshadowed him with his stupidity and blundering that always rewards him with mysteries solved while the chief has never accomplished anything. So he kidnapped the mayor to frame IW for idiocy and put him out of business forever. IW remarks that he’s the bigger idiot, not him. When the thugs went after him, IW decides to do what he does best, messing stuff up. He leads the thugs on a wild ride by tripping them up and knocking them into the canning machines which canned them all into seafood. When he approached the chief, he tells him that his shoe’s untied but he didn’t believe him so he ran but tripped on his untied shoes. “Criminals never listen.” So he frees the mayor and clears his name. The people see IW in a different light and says he’s the greatest detective in the entire eastern seaboard. Since the chief’s been arrested, it should be fair that IW be the new head of the New York Police Department. He agrees. After his inauguration, he drives away in his new police car, which he crashes into a row of other police cars which hits a row of cars like dominos and causes a whole line of traffic accidents. He’s still the same old, same old, idiotic, blundering, goof-offing, dumdum, detective, and that’s just the way he rolls.