Listen to the Children…
If a child trusts you enough to tell you that he/she is being hurt, you are in a position to ensure the child gets the necessary protection. The guidelines below will help you respond to the child in a positive manner.
DO:
Listen to the child.
Keep calm. It is important to remember that you are not angry with the child, but at what happened. Children can mistakenly interpret anger or disgust as being directed towards them.
Believe the child. In most circumstances, children do not lie about abuse.
Give positive messages, such as "It is not your fault," or "It took a lot of courage for you to tell me."
Respect the child's privacy. Do not discuss the abuse in front of people who do not need to know what happened.
DO NOT:
Promise a child that you will not tell. You might say something like, "I am responsible for your safety and care about you. Since you are being hurt, I need to tell someone who can help you."
Panic or overreact when the child talks about the experience. Children need help and support to make it through this difficult time.
Pressure the child to talk or to avoid talking about the abuse. Allow the child to talk at her or his own pace. Forcing information can be harmful. Silencing the child will not help him/her forget.
Confront the offender. This is a job for the authorities.
Blame the child. Abuse is the never the child’s fault.
Source: Sexual Assault Crisis Center. Child Sexual Abuse. [Brochure] Knoxville, TN.
ORIENTATION: Child AbuseSupplemental Handout 5.01
Updated 3/10
What happens when I report suspected child abuse and neglect?
You may make an anonymous report, but it is better to provide your contact information in case the investigator needs to ask additional questions.
After you make a report, the Department for Community Based Services (DCBS) will prioritize the case and an investigation will be conducted as soon as possible. If the child is in immediate danger, a worker will investigate within the hour. Most cases will be initiated within 24-48 hours. The investigation worker may come to the child care facility to see the child before going to the home. It is important to make the report as early in the day as possible to allow time to do this. It is in the child's best interest that he/she be seen and/or interviewed in a safe, neutral setting.
The police may also investigate to see whether a crime is being committed or whether the child(ren) need to be removed from the home for their safety. All sexual abuse investigations are conducted jointly by the DCBS and law enforcement.
The identity of the person who made the report cannot be revealed to the family without a court order. Sometimes parents may guess that their early care and education professional made the report because of the close contact that person has with their child. Early care and education programs should develop a policy on how to handle accusations from parents.
The investigation worker cannot share the results of his/her investigation with the reporting source unless it is determined there is a legitimate need to know (which is defined in statute).
If the family must be separated, it is the goal of DCBS to reunite the family under better circumstances. They help to strengthen family life by providing planned, goal-orientated services that help parents to alleviate problems that may have contributed to the maltreatment of their child(ren) and to acquire better parenting skills.
Source: Kentucky Department for Community Based Services. (2001). Reporting child abuse neglect and dependency: A guide for people who work with Kentucky children. [Brochure]. Frankfort, KY.
ORIENTATION: Child AbuseSupplemental Handout 5.02
Updated 3/10
Typical Concerns Regarding
Reporting Child Abuse and Neglect
The parents seem like very angry people. What if the parents come after me? / Although there may be few exceptions, most abusive parents lack
the social skills to face adults, especially those whom they perceive
to be in positions of authority. This inability to confront adults is
one of the reasons why their children are vulnerable to being
harmed. An occasional parent may yell or threaten, but that usually
is as far as it goes.
I have no right to intervene in a family’s affairs. / State law gives you the right to protect a child by reporting your suspicions of child abuse and neglect. It is the only way the child
and family can begin receiving the help they need.
Will the child be hurt by parents or primary caregivers when they learn a report of suspected abuse has been filed against them? / If you have fears that the family will flee or that the child might be harmed, include this information in your report of abuse. Based on
the information you provide, the investigator will take measures to protect the child.
Their cultural practices are different from mine. I have no right to impose my child rearing beliefs on them. / The definitions of child abuse and neglect included in state laws
apply to all families residing in a state or community. These laws
do not provide for exceptions when, by legal standards, culturally accepted child-rearing practices are abusive or neglectful.
I’ve known this parent for years. I just can’t believe that she would sexually abuse her children. There must be some other explanation. / Adults who abuse or neglect children come from all kinds of backgrounds and are not always easy to identify. You must trust
your observation skills and your knowledge of the physical and behavioral signs of child maltreatment. Also remember that you are not accusing anyone in your report; you are reporting the condition
of a child or children that you suspect was caused by child abuse or neglect.
What effect will a child abuse investigation have on my child care business? / Remember that the investigation is confidential, so it isn’t public knowledge. Parents are unlikely to tell others that the investigation
is going on, because it is very personal to them.
I might be sued by the parents for making a false report. / Mandated reporters are immune from civil or criminal liability for making a report in good faith (where knowledge or reasonable suspicion exists), even if it is not substantiated by the investigator.
What happens to me if I don’t report? / Willful failure to report constitutes a misdemeanor. If a mandatory reporter fails to report suspected abuse, the person can be held
liable in civil court if the child is injured later or dies.
Adapted with permission, Oesterreich, L., Holt, B.G. & Karas, S. (June 1999). Iowa Family Child Care Handbook, Sixth Edition (p. 288). Ames, Iowa: IowaStateUniversity Extension.
ORIENTATION: Child AbuseSupplemental Handout 5.03
Updated 3/10
Understanding the Sexual Curiosity of
Toddlers and Preschoolers
Normal behavior for a child:
- Curiosity, asking questions about other people’s bodies, wanting to watch other people in the bathroom
- Playing “doctor” with playmates of a similar age
- Touching, holding, or playing with genitals (private body parts)
- Repeating the names of genitals (penis, vagina, etc.) when first learning them
- Being open about their own bodies
- Kissing, touching, hugging friends of a similar age
- Saying “No” to family members or friends who try to kiss, hug, tickle or touch them
- Insist on their need for privacy from time to time
Behavior that should cause you to be concerned:
- An unusual interest in or knowledge of sexual matters
- Being withdrawn, spending a lot of time alone, and being preoccupied with their bodies
- Constantly pulling up girls’ skirts or pulling down playmates’ underwear
- Initiating sexual acts with dolls or stuffed animals
- Using sexual language to tease or embarrass friends
- Touching, holding, fondling playmates’ genitals
- Obsession with touching, holding, or fondling own genitals
- Repeatedly exposing themselves in front of friends or pressuring friends to expose themselves
- Other behavior changes such as loss of appetite, recurrent nightmares, aggressive acts, return to bed-wetting, etc. that are not sexual in nature, but serve as “red flags” and need immediate attention
What you can do to prevent and respond to sexual abuse of children:
- Teach children the correct names for genitals (private body parts) so that they know what they are and feel okay talking with you about them.
- Teach children that secrets about touching private body parts are NOT OK and that you need to be told right away if anything like that happens.
- Talk to your children every day, listen, and encourage them to share concerns and problems with you.
- Believe what you hear – children rarely lie about being fondled or touched in a sexual way.
- Know who your child spends time with (playmates, neighbors, child care providers) and listen to how your child describes feeling about these people.
Reprinted with permission. Prevent Child Abuse Kentucky.(no date). Understanding the sexual curiosity of pre-schoolers and toddlers. [handout]. Lexington, KY.
ORIENTATION: Child AbuseSupplemental Handout 5.04
Updated 3/10