ZCSD NEWSLETTER — September, 2004
2047 Felspar Street San Diego, California 92109-3551 858-273-3444
When we’re lost in thought, what have we lost? We’ve lost reality. When we make a personal investment in our thoughts we create the “I”. When we label a thought we step back from it, we remove our identification, our investment, and then our actions are based on reality.
Joko
ZAZENKAI
There will be a zazenkai (all-day sitting) on Saturday and Sunday, Sept 18 and 19. The sign-up and schedule will be on the kitchen table.
PUBLIC DHARMA TALKS
Ezra will be giving a talk on “Freedom From Fear: A Zen Perspective”
at the following times and locations:
Sunday, Oct. 17, at 2 PM, at the Integrative Medical Center of Santa Rosa. Call 707-284-9200 to reserve a space. The fee is $10.
Friday, Oct. 22, at 7:30 PM, at the New York Open Center in New York City. Call 212-219-2527 to reserve a space. The fee is $18.
DHARMA TRANSMISSION
Joko announces with pleasure the transmission of the Dharma to Barbara Muso Penn of Southern Pines, North Carolina; and to Gary Nafstad of Minneapolis, Minnesota. Barbara leads the Sandy Hill Zen Group in Southern Pines.
SCHEDULE
Dawn Sitting Weekdays, Mon. – Fri. 6-7 am
Tues. Evening Two Sittings, 6:30 – 8:00 pm
Wed. Evening Two Sittings, 6:30 – 7:40 pm Practice seminar follows
(until about 8:20 pm)
Thurs. Evening Two Sittings, 6:30 – 8:00 pm
Sat. Morning 8:30 am Work practice
8:45 am Introductory workshop for newcomers
Follow-up instruction for those who have
attended introduction
9:00 am-Noon Three sittings; Dharma talk
Please park at least two blocks away from the Zen Center in consideration of our neighbors.
Please do not use parking areas that are designated for patrons of our business neighbors.
THE GREAT ESCAPES
We all know that one of the greatest hindrances to living a more awake life---a life of satisfaction and appreciation---is that we spend most of our time lost in the mental world. Whether it be planning, fantasizing, worrying, dramatizing, conversing, or whatever, we are literally addicted to our thoughts. We have to be honest about this. Isn’t it true that a lot of our time, even during meditation, is spent spinning in thoughts?
There are several habitual grooves where all of us get caught spinning in the mental world. These habitual grooves are actually escapes from being present to reality. The first escape is analyzing. When a difficult situation arises, one of our first reactions might be to ask, “Why is this happening?” We ask, “Why am I depressed?” “Why am I so tired?” “Why am I anxious?”
We ask why, in part, because we want certainty and logic. We want to avoid the anxious quiver of the present moment, the discomfort of not having ground under our feet. So if we have a difficulty, we immediately escape into the mental spin of trying to figure out why this is happening. We think if we analyze the past, we can uncover why we think and behave the way we do, or why others are doing what they’re doing. We think this mental understanding is necessary for our comfort.
But does asking why on this level give us real clarity or satisfaction? Granted, when we uncover our believed thoughts, we can sometimes see how these thoughts impact our emotional reactions, but, most often, the reasons we come up with are, at best, only marginally accurate.
From a practice perspective, the real question is not “why?” but “what?” Or even better, “What is this?” This question moves us out of the mental world into the experiential. The question “What is this?” is really a Zen koan, because, like any koan, there is no way you can answer it by thinking or analyzing. In fact, the only answer to this question is the actual experiencing of the present moment itself. The only answer is “just this!”
Right now, ask yourself, what is this? To answer, simply feel the breath going in and out. Feel the air in the room. Feel the tension in the face. Feel the energy going through the body. Experience a felt-sense of the overall body posture. Experience just this!
Gutei, a ninth century Zen master, would often respond to student’s questions by simply raising his index finger, saying nothing. Instead of getting an answer to his question, the student would be forced back to being present with his own experience. Can you imagine the frustration of coming into an interview with a teacher, and being met only with silence, of not having the comfort of intellectual clarity or psychological insight? Instead of conceptualizing about “why”, you would have to face the “what” of your experience.
Naturally, when difficulties arise in our life, we look for simple answers, because we prefer the comfort of black or white thinking. We continue to hold onto the notion that we can figure life out; yet, the fact is, we'll never figure life out by asking “why.” Life cannot be reduced to a simple formula; in fact, when we look closely, all we’ll see is a world of subtlety and paradox, a world of complexity, continuums, and change. Nonetheless, our minds insist on conceptualizing. For example, we’ll call life meaningful or meaningless, or say that life is a challenge or an opportunity, or use words such as the “absolute” or the “relative”, or any of our other endless mental constructs. We think, and we believe, that life actually corresponds to the words that we use to describe and explain it. But try as we might, we’re still spinning in the mental world.
Sometimes we hear teachings such as “there is no self’’, or “there is no past or present”. Although these phrases are intended as pointers toward a living reality, unfortunately, they are often reduced to mostly philosophy, to intellectual rhetoric. Phrases like these, just like the words the “nondual” or the “absolute”, easily become convenient mental constructs, just like “heaven” was (and still is for some) a comforting mental image.
One measure of our experiential understanding is the degree to which we still require positing such constructs as if they were the Truth. To accept that we really don’t know anything may be uncomfortable, but it will certainly bring us back to this basic fact: that only through returning again and again to the “what” of our experience itself, can we enter into and live from the non-conceptual understanding that is the basic essence of our Being. Although this effort may be uncomfortable, it is also exactly where we must go if we wish to stop our attempted escape from what is real.
Ezra Bayda
Sesshin application follows on Page 4.
APPLICATION FOR SESSHIN
ZEN CENTER of SAN DIEGO • 2047 Felspar St. • San Diego, CA 92109 • 858-273-3444
Please print clearly to avoid delay in processing your application, and please fill out this form completely.
Name ______Age ______Gender _____
Address ______City ______State ____ Zip ______
Home phone ______Work phone ______
Emergency contact (name) ______(phone) ______
(must be blood relative or spouse)
e-mail______(ZCSD has no e-mail address, but volunteers may contact you by e-mail).
Circle the sesshin for which you are applying:
Please note: Applications cannot be considered unless a check for sesshin fees is included
Date Member Non-member Mail-in Date
Oct 8-11 3-day 90.00 105.00 Aug 8
Nov 11-14 3-day E+E 90.00 105.00 Sept 11
Dec 26-31 5-day 150.00 175.00 Sept 26
Have you ever attended sesshins with Joko or Elizabeth/Ezra? ___Yes ___ No
This will be my ___1st ___ 2nd ___ 3rd ___ + sesshin at ZCSD
Date/location/teacher of your most recent sesshin ______
Mail in form no earlier than the mail-in date above, marked: Attention Sesshin Coordinator. The postmark will be entered as the application date. Please wait to make air reservations until your application has been confirmed. We will notify you as soon as decisions have been made. If you haven’t heard from us exactly one month before the sesshin begins, please call the Center.
Arrive by 6:30 pm the first night.** Last day will end about 3:00 pm. A light snack will be available the first evening.
**Newcomers please arrive early for orientation. Orientation begins at 4:30 pm
Work Skills (circle): cooking, shopping prior to sesshin, electrical, carpentry, painting, computer, gardening, sewing, flower arranging, jobs prior to sesshin, other: ______
Physical conditions limiting participation:______
I agree to maintain a daily sitting practice from the time of this application through the sesshin. I will participate in the entire schedule, including interviews, sittings, meals, work, and any assigned tasks. I will be on time for all activities. I understand that my physical, mental, and emotional well-being are my own responsibility. Zen practice is not a substitute for therapy. I am capable of undertaking the rigors of a sesshin at this time. I am seeking medical or therapeutic treatment for any condition(s) I have, and have revealed all pertinent information on this form. I will sign a waiver releasing ZCSD from accident and injury liability.
______
Signature Legibly printed name
ALL BLANKS ON APPLICATION FILLED IN? ___ Yes ___ No
Printable E-MAIL v 1/04