Believe Me Video
Audience
Both girls and boys
9-13 years
Those experiencing sexual abuse currently or in past
Those who have no experience of sexual abuse
Also useful as a training video for professionals working with young people or for those working with abusers.
Context
Viewing in a group supported by adult. eg.teacher, youth worker
Viewing by individual child with adult in therapeutic setting
Training session for professionals working with young people
Aims of the video
To support young people who have experienced sexual abuse.
To help all children recognise sexual abuse if it occurs.
To encourage all young people to report sexual abuse.
Counter the myths about sexual abuse
That strangers are the most likely perpetrators
That it only happens in deprived/’problem’ families
That it is caused by drug/alcohol use/money problems/mental illness
Messages for young people
It happens to a lot of children
Sexual activity between a child and adult is wrong and is not a sign of love
It is not your fault that the abuse happened
Important to tell. You may have to be persistent
It’s OK not to keep some secrets
You are not responsible for consequences of telling (legal proceedings etc)
It’s not your fault that others in the family are upset.
You may have mixed feelings of love/hate for the abuser.
It’s OK if there were things about the abuse you liked eg. treats, affection, sexual feelings.
The experience won’t turn you into an abuser.
You can get help and recover.
Additional issuesfor specific groups
Black children
Asian children
Children in care
Children experiencing domestic violence
Children with mental and physical impairments
What sexual abuse consists of
The exploitation of a child for the sexual gratification of an adult.
It is not children’s exploratory sexual play with other children or open/public hugs, kisses or cuddles between children and adults.
Non-contactFlashing
Obscene phone calls
Talking about sex
Watching/looking at pornography/posing for photos
Watching sexual acts
ContactInappropriate kissing
Touching sexually/ made to touch
Masturbation
Oral sex
Vaginal sex
Anal sex
By one person - once/over a long period of time.
By a number of people – paedophile ring, adults and their friends.
It can be accompanied by violence/threats/coercion.
It can make use of‘seduction’ within the context of anaffectionate relationship.
Who experiences it
Boys and girls.
All ages
All racial, religious and class backgrounds.
Able-bodied and those with mental and physical impairments.
The range of perpetrators
Abusers come from all classes, races and cultures.
They are predominantly male (90+ %) but there are some female abusers.
Known adultliving with childfathers
Step-fathers
Foster-carers
Mother’s boyfriend
Older sibling
Mother/female carer
Known adultNot living with childrelations (grandfather, cousin, uncle)
Neighbours
Baby-sitters
Family friends
Care worker
Other trusted adults
Strangers
Effects of abuse on child
Psychological Feeling hopeless,powerless, worthless
Feelings of, and actual isolation from, others
Anger, rage, dissociation (‘switching off’ from others)
Physical effects Sleep disturbances
Bed wetting
Lack of concentration
Medical problemsUrinary infections
Genital pain
Why its difficult for a child to stop the abuse
Trust in adults
Obedience to adults
May seem ‘normal’ (if it started early and has gone on for a long time)
Done by someone they may love who made them feel ‘special’
Fear of abuser
Confused feelings about abuser (eg love, protective)
Difficult to stop it on their own
May feel they’re preventing it happening to someone else
Why it’s difficult to tell
Fear that they won’t be believed
Fear of abuser and what they might do/say
Fear of consequences for themselves, the abuser, the family
Fear of the legal process (often justified)
Fear of break-up of family, being sent away
May feel that they have already told/ it is obvious
Why child may feel guilty
Feel that they invited the abuse and therefore deserved it
May have enjoyed the extra attention, money, treats etc
May have experienced some sexual pleasure
May feel they should have been able to stop it just by saying NO but failed
They haven’t told earlier
The revelation will upset mother/others in the family
Feel responsible for breaking up the family
Feel responsible for bringing punishment to abuser
Who to tell
Parent,carer, close relative
Friend/friend’s parent,neighbour
Teacher, doctor, nurse, social worker, police
Organisations – Childline, NSPCC etc
What might happen
Different possible scenarios?
We need more information on this
Longer term recovery
Useful strategies
You can get over it butmay need help at different stages of your life