Become a TOUCHDOWN DAD

Become a TOUCHDOWN DAD

PREVIEW

Become a

TOUCHDOWN DAD

Turn your love of football into

a winning parenting style

David Justus

Contributing Fatherhood Experts:

Steve Killpack, Mark Robinson, Luis Vazquez

Edited by

Brittani Curtis

Northcoast University Publishing

Toledo, Ohio

All possible care has been made to identify the ownership of every selection included and to make full acknowledgement for its use. If any errors have occurred, they will be corrected in subsequent editions, provided notification is sent to the publisher.

Become a Touchdown Dad

A Northcoast University Publication

Copyright May2008 by David Justus

All rights reserved.

This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any

form without permission from Northcoast University, with

exception of quotes for a review.

ISBN: 978-0-615-20016-3

Touchdown Dad is a registered trade mark.

Dedicated to

the one person who can make all the difference

in the life a child—their dad.

Contents

Introduction: Pregame Warm Up ix

First Quarter: What Quarterbacks Understand

That Every Parent Should

Chapter One

The Football Factor 3

Chapter Two

Secrets of a Successful Quarterback 15

Chapter Three

A BalancedApproach 25

Second Quarter: Be a Dad, Not a Referee

Chapter Four

Level the Playing Field 37

Chapter Five

The Magic of Zebra Stripes 47

Chapter Six

The Red Zone 59

Halftime—Special Report:

An Inside Look at Why Some

Football Players Fail 73

Third Quarter: It’s Not Where You Play,

It’s That You Play

Chapter Seven

Huddle Up! 81

Chapter Eight

Beware of Linebacker Behavior 91

Chapter Nine

Protect the Pocket 101

Fourth Quarter: Gain a Competitive Edge

Chapter Ten

Get Inside the Quarterback’s Head 113

Chapter Eleven

First and Goal 123

Chapter Twelve

What it Means to WIN 131

Post Game Commentary 137

THE END ZONE:

Extra Points and Resources to Help You

Realize your Goals as a Parent 141

Introduction

Pregame Warm Up

Do you know any fathers like this?

He wants nothing more than to be the kind of father who is involved in the lives of his children. So, he sits with a group of other guys, in a circle, and talks about his feelings, easily expressing his emotional and spiritual needs as a parent.

He has a good job, with excellent benefits, and disposable income. His employer understands when he needs to leave early to pick up his children, who are well behaved and excel in school.

He and the children’s mother, married or not, are best friends. Therefore, they never have disagreements about or in front of the children.

TIMEOUT!

Upon further review, it has been determined that there simply are not many fathers like this, if any.

Here’s the reality:As fathers, we love our children; however we will only sit in a circle with other guys to watch football. The feelings we share are happiness or frustration, depending on which team wins. Yet, I realize that if you are like me, we occasionally need a little help to get back on track or to improve our parenting skills. So, if you love the game of football and you’re open to some coaching for parents, then this book is for you!

One word for moms—TouchdownDad is generally written for dads; however, many moms also love football. This book contains universal principles that all parents can benefit from and is not exclusive to male readers. So moms, welcome!

1

First Quarter

WHAT QUARTERBACKS UNDERSTAND THAT EVERY PARENT SHOULD

.

Chapter One

The Football Factor

Once there was a graduate of Northcoast University in Dallas City, Ohio. Brian married his college sweetheart and now several years later, was the father of two children. He had a successful career with Waggoner Brothers, having been recently promoted. To the outside world it appeared as if he was living the American dream—buthis kids—what was he going to do with his kids?

On a Saturday afternoon, while his wife was out running errands, Brian was in his family room watching football. The Northcoast University Mudpuppys, his alma mater, wasplayingthe Merrick State Generals, their rival. There were less than two minutes remaining and the score was tied at seventeen. The Mudpuppys were driving towards the end zone. The whistle sounded and the game came to a sudden stop! The Mudpuppy receiver stepped out of bounds before getting the first down. Worse yet, there was an offensive holding penalty.

Brian sat on the edge of his recliner yelling, “What do you mean holding?” As if somehow he could change the referee’s mind;he was so into the game that he remained oblivious to his children jumping on the couch and running amuck until one of them passed in front of the TV.

“Sit down, you know better than that,” Brian barked. They immediately conformed to his command, tears running down their cheeks.In the interim, the Mudpuppys had made it to the fifteen yard line. “Second down and the quarterback’s keeping the ball,” he said with a cringe. “What’s the quarterback thinking? That’s right, pitch it! Pitch it to the running back!” Brian leaped to his feet and is screaming, “Run! Run! Run . . . and touchdown!” Now he’s the one jumping aroundthe room,givinghis children high fives.

Then came the sobbing question from his youngest child, “Daddy, does this mean we can get up?”

Brian’s heart sank. He reflected on this experience, again and again. Why was parenting so frustrating for him? He felt like he was a good father. It wasn’t that he didn’t love his children—it just seemed like they didn’t listen to him.

Monday at work, Brian happily celebrated the Mudpuppy victory with his co-workers,Mark and Luis,so much so that the manager complained that they were reliving what ‘seemed like every play.’ The conversation was enjoyable for Brian until they got to the last play.

“That was a helmet-smashing run,” Luis said enthusiasticallyreenacting the dart to the end zone.

“It was pure magic,” Marksaid enthusiastically.

Brian remained silent.

“What’s the matter with you?” Mark asked.“The way you look, you’d think Northcoast University lost.”

Brian cleared his throat. “I had a few problems with the kids on Saturday and my youngest one said something that made me question my parenting. Normally, I would shake it off, but I just can’t get it out of my head.”

“Maybe you should talk to Touchdown Dad,” Luis suggested.

“Touchdown who?” Brian questioned.

“Fritz O’Bannon,” Mark said. “People call him Touchdown Dad because he does some fatherhood coaching, you know—advice for dads.”

“Never mind, I’ll be fine,” Brian sheepishly replied.

Once home,however, Brian anxiously pulled out the old roster with Fritz’s number on it. He would dial the first five numbers and then stop. He was hesitant because he didn’t want to admit he needed help. When the phone eventually rang and Fritz answered—he hung up. Brian’s face paled as hiscell phone rang. It was Fritz calling back. What was he supposed to say? Two rings, now three. Just answer it, he thought.

“Um. . . Hello?”

“Yes, this is Fritz O’Bannon. Someone just called me from this number but my signal must have dropped.”

“Darn cell phones,” Brian retorted in soft tone. “This is Brian Michaels, our sons played ball together this summer. I was calling because I needed . . . well, actually . . .” Then without warning he just blurted it out.“I hear they call you Touchdown Dad and that you provide therapy to fathers.”

“I call it coaching, not therapy,” Fritz said. “Were you in need of some help?”

“Yes,” Brian groaned. There, he said it. He set aside his pride and said it—he needed help.

“What do you say we meet on Thursday at Zachary’s Café on Main Street,” Fritz asked, “at seven?”

“Yes, that sounds good,” Brian replied.

Thursday’s meeting began with a handshake. Then, following some brief talk about the weather and after ordering a bite to eat, Brian began to share his frustrations with parenting. He explained that his home was very chaotic, how the children would be playing one minute and then arguing the next.

Fritz just nodded his head and smiled.

“At night,” Briangrumbled on, “I feel like I’m constantly walking through an obstacle course with the toys everywhere and that’s just for starters . . .” Whenhe stopped to catch his breath, Fritzinterrupted with a question that changed the tone of the whole conversation.

“Do you enjoy football?” he asked.

“Of course,” Brian said.

“What if I told you parenting could be as simple as understanding a football game?” Fritz suggested. “Most experts would not consider football principles as legitimate parenting advice, but, it doesn’t take a PhD to know that as men we understand football better than we do parenting.”

Now Brian was nodding his head and smiling.

Fritz explained, “Football principles are universally understood by every fan. Whether attending a high school game, experiencing a rivalry like Northcoast University versus Merrick State, or watching the NFL, fans like you enjoy football because you know and understand the structure of the game.”

Brian was a former quarterback at Northcoast University, therefore he thought, ‘Fritz is right, football is structured.’

“Players have defined roles but share the common goal of winning a conference championship,” Fritz continued.“This hope is also what makes football fans so passionate about the game.”

“I totally agree,” Brian said.

“On the other hand,” Fritz continued, “parenting seems like it reinvents itself every twenty years. How you were raised is not the same as how your parents were raised. Likewise, raising your children is not the same as how you were raised. Parenting is an ever developing process. Our children live in a different world. They face challenges that we never had to face.Being a father todayisfilled with rewards and setbacks, highs and lows, good times and bad.”

Brian agreed. “Among the madness, there have been some enjoyable times for me as a father,” he said, “yet, I’m justlooking for some peace of mind and sense of order in my home.”

“Here’s the good news,” Fritz replied.“Just like football—parenting requires a game plan—for that reason, the time you have spent watching Mudpuppy football is about to pay off.”

Brian pulled himself forward to the edge of his seat, his pen in hand, ready to take notes on his napkin.

Fritz began to explain.“There are some valuable similarities between parenting and the game of football. Although as parents, we have four advantages that no football team has ever had the luxury of enjoying:

“First,” he said raising a finger,“in football, a team faces a new opponent each week, which creates different challenges requiring new strategies. Whichever team has a better game plan, executes the plays more effectively, runs faster, pushes harder, and who minimizes their mistakes, usually wins.”

Brian grabbed another napkin.

“Conversely, as parents, this is not the case.Children have only one father, therefore, there is no direct competition,” Fritz continued.“That said, we are our own opponent; we know our strengths and weaknesses because we are both our best player and our greatest challenger.”

Brian’s hand was writing notes faster than a quarterback being chased by an angry linebacker.

“Next,” Fritz said,“consider the impact of a game plan. A football team has a very specific direction and goal. Coaches and players spend hours watching film and making plans for the various scenarios they might face throughout the game. The team practices running, passing, punting, and the like, yet no one can predict the outcome of the game.”

Brian watched as Fritz’s hands were moving around like he was signalingin plays from the sideline.

“Aparent’s game plan has the advantage that the options are unlimited:we can choose our teammates, where we play, and how much and how often we practice. Additionally, we make the rules, choose our position, and can influence the outcomes in our life.”

Brian nodded his head.

“How many chances does a football team have to make a first down?” Fritz asked.

“Four,” Brian replied.

“How many chances does a father have as a parent?”

Brian paused and slightly shrugged his shoulders.

“As fathers, we have as many downs as we are willing to attempt,” Fritz pointed out. “When things do not go as planned, and this will happen, we can change our approach and try again. Persistency is the key because there is no loss of possession.No failures—only results.”

Brian’s hand was starting to cramp as he was on his third napkin.

“The final advantage,” Fritz emphasized, “is that a football game is limited to 60 minutes. The quarterback is the player who leads the team during the final minutes of the game. His ability to manage the clock and make the most of the team’s opportunities is essential to their success. Mistakes, however, are made and time is wasted;and when the clock expires, the game is over to both the excitement of some fans and the disappointment of others.”

Fritz paused, which gave Brian time to ask, “And time as a dad?”

Then with a slight tremble in his voice, Fritz said, “For us, fatherhood has no clock, once a dad, always a dad. This does not mean the clock is not ticking. Our children keep growing, learning, and maturing. We do, however, have the opportunity to be a part of our children’s lives every day, every week, ever year.”

Brian smiled and said, “Now I see why they call you Touchdown Dad.”

Fritz acknowledged the compliment with a smileof his own. “I think that’s enough for one night,” he said. “Let’s meet again next week and we can continue to enjoy looking at how football can improve our lives as parents.”

“Yeah, this is kind of like coaching for dads, not therapy,” Brian saidexhaling a sigh of relief. Then shaking Fritz’s hand, heplaced his stack of scribbled napkins in his pocket, paid his check, and seemed to sprint to his car.

Chapter Two

Secrets of a

Successful Quarterback

Brian arrived at the Zachary’sCafé a half hour earlier than he and Fritz had agreed to meet. This time he brought a pen and notebook. Then he passed the time kicking a paper football between the salt and pepper shakers.

“Three points,” Fritz teased as he slid into the booth across from Brian. “How was your week?”

“Pretty good for the most part,” Brian said. “I’ve been thinking about what we talked about and I am not really sure how football and parenting are the same.”

“I thought that’s why we are here,” Fritzinsisted, “you know, to learn about becoming a Touchdown Dad.”

“So where do we begin?” Brian asked.

“Children need to feel important,” Fritz began, “yet as fathers, we have many responsibilities to fulfill. To accomplish this, I have what I call my parent’s game plan. It took some time to develop; nonetheless, for me, one crucial decision was that regardless of what my future held, I needed to stay involved with my children.”

‘Ah,’Brian thought, ‘that’s right, Fritz is a single parent.’

“For example,” Fritz explained, “my life involves picking up the children from after-school activities on Wednesdays. It ends at 6 p.m., so I can’t be late, which means I need to be off work by 4:45. My boss says she’s okay with me leaving early, but I’m still getting that stare as I exit the building. Plus, it seems like they always are repairing the roads when it’s my turn to pick up the children!”

“I heard the governor is talking about making the state symbol the orange pylon,” Brian said with a smirk.

Fritz laughed and continued. “As you are aware, picking up the children is only the beginning. Then there is feeding them, helping with homework, and taking baths. Despite the madness, however, it is always worth the effort when I see their smiling faces.”

“I agree,” Brian insisted, “but what about the football? Where doesit come in?”

“All children grow up feeling like their father is bigger, smarter, and stronger than everyone else’s father,” Fritz replied with confidence. “In reality, we may not score a winning touchdown, recover an onside kick, or rush for a hundred yards in a game. Actually, there is a good chance we can’t even run a hundred yards;yet to our children, we are their star quarterback.”

Brian knew the quarterback is considered to be the most important position in football, and as the leader, he is responsible for executing the plays. The team’s success on the field though is not only defined by the quarterback’s potential or talent—it is defined by his decisions.