NEWSLETTER

Issue No. 6.January 2017

Introduction:

We hope that you had an enjoyable Christmas and are looking forward to a great 2017. This year is the 150th anniversary of Canadian Confederation, and in keeping with our mission statement for our group, our plays are truly Canadian. This season, as with all other seasons, we are presenting plays by Canadian writers. And we do hope you will enjoy all of them!

Our last Newsletter was in October of 2016. Since our Fall, 2016 production of Investment in Murder, we have had no major performances to tell you about, but do we have some exciting plays coming up very soon: the next one, Office Hours,is March 10th to 18th, 2017. In addition, we are also presenting a very interesting lunchtime seniors’ skits performance at the John Dutton Theatre of the Central Library on February 24th. Do come, if you are able to!

We are in the process of setting up a webpage, and it will be up and running in the very near future. Watch this space for details.

As usual, in this issue we have news, some jokes and some quotes.

Let’s warm you up on this cold winter day with a few quotes:

It has always been fun to follow the life of the great ZsaZsa Gabor, who unfortunately passed away on December 19th, 2016, at the ripe old age of 99 years. The nine-times-married actress was notorious for her hilarious quotes. Here are a couple:

  • I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.
  • I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.

And a few from the colourful Oscar Wilde:

  • All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, that is his.
  • Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.
  • No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating.
  • Forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.

And now to the important news!

Our next production:

From March 10th to 18th2017, we will present at Pumphouse Theatre, in cooperation with Workshop Theatre, Norm Foster’s comedy “Office Hours”produced by Alan LeBoeuf and Paul Brown, and directed by Mike Hughes. We are now in rehearsals for this very funny play.

Office Hours is a full-length comedy by Norm Foster. Six separate stories unfold in six separate offices on one Friday afternoon.
It’s a Friday afternoon in the big city and, in six different offices, six different stories are unfolding at the same time. However, they are all connected somehow, from the figure skater on the ledge, to the novelist in the closet. A madcap race towards quitting time. It's a wild ride with an ending that sends the audience into a collective howl.

About the Author:

Norm Foster has been called Canada's pre-eminent comic playwright, and he is also one of the most prolific and most produced of all Canadian playwrights.

Performance dates are as follows:

Friday, March 10th 2017

Saturday, March 11th 2017

Wednesday, March 15th 2017

Thursday, March 16th 2017

Friday, March 17th 2107

Saturday, March 18th 2017

There will be a matinée on the final Saturday. Evening shows start at 7:30 p.m. and the Saturday matinée starts at 2:30 p.m. We look forward to seeing you at one of our performances. We can practically guarantee you will laugh nonstop during this very funny play!

Show tickets are: $25 for general admission, and $20 for seniors/students.

For tickets:

email –

Phone: – (587) 577-3669

We are planning to hold a raffle during this production, with some marvelous prizes to be won. The number of tickets sold will be limited, so your chances of winning will be very good.

Upcoming production:

  1. “Deadly Illusions”

“Deadly Illusions”

by Alan LeBoeuf

Illusions are sometimes a case of now you see it and now you don’t. But when the Great Boudin premiers his latest grand illusion, you certainly see something. Unfortunately for poor Boudin, it’s not quite what was expected. Life can be dangerous for illusionists. Just ask Harry Houdini. You see, there’s nothing magical about dead bodies and there's nothing magical about Inspector Sorochan. He’s a plodder but he always seems to get his man. But could this be his last case. Could there be another murder or will this just be another illusion that goes wrong?

This play is tentatively scheduled for the fall of 2017 with our co-sponsor, The Kinsmen Club of Calgary, in aid of a local charity. More details forthcoming in our next newsletter.

  1. “SHACKLETON – Escape from the Frozen Antarctic”

In the Fall of 2017 we will present the true story of “Shackleton – Escape from the frozen Antarctic”. This is a radio play about the Antarctic Explorer, Sir Ernest Shackleton. This true story is of one of the great heroic adventures of the 20th century. In 1914, Shackleton set out from London on his way to the frozen Antarctic. The plan was to trek across the continent, a journey of 1,800 miles and cross the actual South Pole. Unfortunately, the ship became stuck in the ice and sank.

The crew were forced toabandon ship and with the expedition now over, started a long on-ice journey for survival. They had no contact with the rest of the world and the world did not know where they were. They were far from the normal shipping routes with zero chance of rescue.

They were alone in a frozen wasteland.

This radio play will be accompanied by sound effects.

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Confederation Theatre Society in the Community

One afternoon in May last year, a group of actors from Confederation Theatre Society performed at the Montgomery Community Association for the seniors during their lunch social. We wrote a programme of hilarious skits and some serious mini-dramas, all of which took about 45 minutes to perform. We kept to our mandate in that 5 of the 6 sketches were written by Alberta writers. There was a lot of laughter among the audience, and it was a rewarding experience for both the actors as well as the audience.

At that performance, we were approached to perform for CARYA, who are a Calgary group concerned about elder abuse, whether it is financial, physical or verbal abuse. We wrote some more sketches highlighting elders’ issues and elder abuse. The new program of hilarious skits and a few serious mini-dramas is now in rehearsal for a performance at the John Dutton Theatre at the Central Library at midday Friday, 24th February 2017. Tickets are $10 each. All sketches are written by Alberta writers. The program will take about 45 minutes. The event is intended to entertain as well as to make people aware of the problem of elder abuse.

It is estimated that 7% of Canadian elders are victims of abuse and 250,000 Canadian elders are victims of financial abuse.

If your group is interested in hosting a performance of our skits, please contact us. You can contact Paul Brown at .

A Little Night Reading

Confederation Theatre Society hosts an evening of ‘A Little Night Reading’ where we workshop new Canadian plays. This is very beneficial for the playwright. In the past twelve months we have workshopped the following plays:

  • Deadly Illusions by Alan LeBoeuf.
  • Shackleton by Paul Brown

The next reading will be in March, with another in April. Notification of play names and dates of the readings will be sent through the Calgary ACTS emails. If you are a budding playwright, and have a play that you would like us to consider for this series, please contact Paul Brown at

MEMBERSHIP:

You can become a member of Confederation Theatre Society for just $10 a year. Call (587) 577 3669, to join our vibrant group of theatre-lovers!

To close, let’s look at CONFUSING SIGNS:

  • On a bathroom door:TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.
  • In a Laundromat:

AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

  • In an office:

WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

  • Message on a leaflet:

IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WE WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.

News Headlines:

  • Miners Refuse to Work after Death
    Good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
  • If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
    Ya think?!
  • Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
    That's what he gets for eating those beans!
  • Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
    Did I read that right?

And some more quotes:

  • When all else fails, read the instructions.- Anonymous
  • Ah Mozart! He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t.- Victor Borge
  • I’m for a stronger death penalty.- George Bush
  • My most brilliant achievement was to persuade my wife to marry me.- Winston Churchill
  • If you wanted nothing done, Arthur Balfour was the best man

for the task. There was no equal to him.- Winston Churchill

The next production from Workshop Theatre:

January 27th to February 4th, 2017

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