An Unforgotten Memory
Memories are reminders of what we have done in life so far. Most hold a valuable lesson. Some we look at and giggle. I'll tell you one of my memories that has both a lesson and a laugh.
I was usually a teacher pet in school. Daily, I'd bring a card to my teacher just to see her smile, or maybe it was so they can love me more - it’s a mixture of both. To teachers I was loveable, but to students I wasn't.
I never had friends I could be myself with. I know I was different from them. Part of me wanted to be like them; I just never admitted it. There was a girl named Danielle I admired since kindergarten. She had everything, nice clothes, fun parents, and a lot of friends. I craved to be her, but I knew it could never be.
I had a teacher that most students didn't like. They called her selfish, because everyday she'd bring a huge packet of candy to eat all by herself. One day we had a substitute. On top of the teacher’s desk sat a huge box full of airheads. One of the boys sneaked his hand into the box and got a handful while the substitute was not looking.
The temptation began to spread. Everyone wanted an airhead, and some found the courage to sneak some into their little pockets. I had no intention of getting some. Then Danielle whispered into my ear and said she really wanted an airhead. She whispered again, "Can you go get me one?"
I wanted to make Danielle happy. I wanted to be her friend. I convinced myself that this was the only way to gain Danielle's friendship. I walked up to the teacher’s desk and pretended to sharpen my pencil. I had second thoughts, but kept repeating to myself “I have to do it.” I managed to force my small fingers into the box and grab, not just one, but as many airheads as I could. I quickly stumbled to my desk without looking back to see if the substitute saw me. I felt like she was eying me the whole time. I tossed all the airheads to Danielle.
I shivered and hugged myself tightly. I didn't dare take a back glimpse at the substitute. I thought she seen me. I felt like a horrible person. Everyone would now see me as a criminal.
“I am a criminal,” I thought to myself. I put my head on my desk, and prayed for the shaking to stop. When it did, I slowly raised my head to see if the teacher was looking at me. She wasn't! She was occupied with her laptop. That's when my mind clicked, she didn't even see me. I began to calm, but for the rest of the day, I kept thinking over what I'd done.
The next morning, I dreaded going to back to school. I knew things were going to be bad. The morning bell came. Our teacher didn't mention anything about airheads although it was obvious there were a bunch missing.
After lunch, our teacher mentioned it. I felt like she was only looking at me the whole time. She asked who stole her airheads. No one answered. She repeated the question. Still no one admitted doing it or witnessing. She gave us small sticky notes to write on. She said if you did it, admit it, and if you know someone that did it, write their name.
I stayed staring at the sticky note, not knowing what to do. I was guilty and super scared. After thinking for a while, I scribbled down; I don't know. I handed it to the teacher, thinking that no one in the class would tell on me.
The next day, the teacher called 7 people outside the classroom. I was one of them. She handed us each a huge envelope with papers stacked inside. We were supposed to take it home and let our parents sign it.
For the whole day we had to write about stealing and honesty. By the time I was done my paper was soaked with tears. I couldn't face my parents, and I couldn't tell my brothers. I was trapped and too weak to do anything.
I stayed away from everyone for about a week, talking to only myself. My teacher said she'd call my parents if I didn't let them sign the paper as soon as possible.
The last thing I would do is admit to my family that I had stolen. It's not the whipping that I was afraid of, but it was my dad's disappointment. I knew I wasn't able to bear my dad not trusting me ever again.
My teacher had already lost trust in me. Everyday she'd give me the "I can't believe you did that look. I know I wouldn't be able to bear that look from my parents.
At home, I practiced my mom's signature, until I got it perfectly. I signed the paper myself, and returned it to the teacher. It was another mistake I made, but unlike the first one, I felt this one was worth it.
For the rest of the year, I feared my teacher would bring that up to my parents one day. She never did. She kept punishing me through 4th grade over this one mistake. In every move I made, she was suspicious. A couple times I was accused of cheating.
Now, looking back at those days, I smile at myself. That one mistake I did has impacted me through the rest of my life not negatively, but positively. Now, I consider consequences beforehand. I ask myself; is it really worth it?
There was a day that came when I told my whole family about the airheads and the papers. We had a good laugh out of it.
Whether it’s a good memory or a bad one, look over it in a whole different way, and it’ll teach you things.