Alfie Moon Goes to the Moon a Dream Journey
Alfie Moon Goes To The Moon [a dream journey]
Betty And Frankie [two old street sellers, sweets and fish]
Grannie And The Electricity Problems [a fun tale]
My Funny Family [pains the lot of them]
RitaAnd Mary [two Glasgow shopkeepers]
Uncle Shuggie[a long narrative about a ne'er do well uncle taking his nephew on surprising advantures]
ALFIE MOON GOES TO THE MOON
By St Michael’s East End Glasgow P5 with Ewan McVicar
Tune Original
Alfie Moon woke up too soon
He saw the moon was changin
Turnin roon like a silver balloon
Over Parkheid Toon
Kindly help us sing this tune
Oh dear, Alfie Moon
He jumped oot o bed and bumped his head
And tumbled doon the stair
He ran away up Rocket Street
"Whit's goin on up there?"
He jumped on a hingway that was passin by
An flew tae the moon up in the sky
It was full, it was gibbous, it was old, it was new
Crescent horned and painted blue
He said "Ah'm gonny go dancin in the moonlight
Wi an alien green an white"
Then he moaned, "Oh, ma head
Ah passed out when ah fell oot o bed"
BETTY AND FRANKIE
By Sacred Heart East End Glasgow P6/7 with Ewan McVicar
Tune The Wheel Of Fortune
Dae ye ken Sugar Betty?
Sweetie wife, she's the boss
Yes, I know Sugar Betty
She sells sweets at Brigton Cross
Liquorice sticks and cinnamon balls
Soor plooms and chocolate drops
Sugar allie, jawbreakers
All kinds of lollipops
Dae ye ken Fishie Frankie
He sells fish frae a cart
Yes, I know Fishie Frankie
Whelks and mussels, haddock, shark
Loch Fyne herring, fat and oily
East Coast smokies - they're for me
Boil the tatties, bread and butter
That will make a lovely tea
GRANNIE AND THE ELECTRICITY PROBLEMS
By P4-7, Marykirk Primary
Tune Ye Canny Shove Yer Grannie
Ma grannie left the stove on overnight
Ma grannie left the stove on overnight
She began to cough, and forgot to turn it off
Ma grannie left the stove on overnight
Ma grannie stuck her finger in the socket
She thought she saw a mouse, she said “It lives in that wee house”
Ma grannie tried to cut right through the wires
She tripped and grabbed a shelf, and electrified herself
Ma grannie stuck a load of plugs together
They got very hot, she poured water from a pot
MY FUNNY FAMILY
By St Michaels East End Glasgow with Ewan McVicar
Tune Ma Maw’s A Millionaire
My dad's a chimney sweep
He never gets much sleep
Stuck in a chimney, I suppose
With a spider crawlin up his nose
My dad's a chimney sweep
My gran is very old
She always gets a cold
She began to sneeze one day
Her teeth shot out and ran away
My gran is very old
My sister is a pain
She's got three gabby weans
She always annoys the neighbourhood
She's always in a crabby mood
My sister is a pain
My granda's a maniac
Hasnae the sense o a carpet tack
Tries tae tell us he's a panda
Always swingin on the verandah
My granda's a maniac
RITA AND MARY
By Sacred Heart East End Glasgow P6/7 with Ewan McVicar
Tune The Wheel Of Fortune
Dae ye ken Raggy Rita
She buys rags for thirty pence
She sells them for one pound fifty
She must have common sense
Cardigans and woolly jumpers
Denims, skirts, cotton vests
They get sent to hard-up countries
To the East from the West
Dae ye ken Ginger Mary
She runs Main Street Fruit and Veg
She gets up at four a.m.
To buy supplies from her pal Reg
Strawberries, apples, cabbage
Lettuce, pears, broccoli
They are juicy, sweet and cheap
Go and get them for yer tea
UNCLE SHUGGIE
[Tune : Donkey City, a tune from Jamaica]
A song in Glesga language about an uncle who gets into interesting trouble.
Ma favourite Uncle Shuggie came round and he says tae ma mammy,
“Ah sank that pound on a sure fire cert of a horse in the two o’clock.
Could you help us out with three pound ten?
Or just make it five and ah’ll pay ye when I know.”
And ma mammy said, “Never again, Hugh.”
Cause ye never paid last time,
Or the time before last time.
You must owe a fortune and you’ll never get even.
Shuggie go! Go raffle your body for science.
Ma Uncle Shuggie said, “Aw come on, make it two pound even.”
Ma mammy said “Done. As long as you take Young Hugh here our for the day.”
Ma Uncle said “Ach, Bella, but -”
Ma mammy said, “Just keep it shut and go before I start to remember.”
My favourite Uncle Shuggie said, “Well, come on then son, or we’ll miss the parade,”
But when we went out there was just a man wi two dugs.
He said, “How’d we get on?” Ma uncle said ,“Well
Thirty bob cash and a wean we could sell as a scarecrow.”
And the dug man said, “Ah’m losin patience.”
Ma favourite Uncle Shuggie smiled, he said, “Ah’ll see ye right, it’ll just take a while.”
And the dug man said, “All right, where’s the thirty bob?”
Ma uncle said, “Ach, leave us five.” The dug man said, “Be glad you’re alive and go.
Hey, take yer pygmy wi ye.”
Then ma favourite Uncle Shuggie and me paid a wee visit to a hostelry,
Then we hippety hopped to the bookie shop.
But the horses all had three left feet. My uncle started to greet
But the bookie said, “No. And Willy Carson was never your nephew.”
Then ma favourite Uncle Shuggie and me went intae Alec’s bakery,
And my uncle asked for the loan of a dozen rolls.
But Alec said tae my uncle, “Get out ye wee carbuncle,
Don’t you know ah heard what ye did tae ma sister?”
Then ma Uncle Shuggie, he said to me, “Hey son, have ye got any l.s.d.?
We could go to the chippy and buy yer mammy a pie.
Maybe she’d like a bottle of beer and twenty fags?”
Ah said, “Ach, cheerio, yer just a rotten chancer.”