Gabriella Kortsch, Ph.D.
Integral Life Coach, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Relationship Coach, EFT Practitioner
Marbella, Spain
Sessions Available Locally in Person or Internationally by Phone or Skype
English – Español – Deutsch
*** Si prefieres recibir este boletín en español, haz clic aquí***
+34 952 929 071
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The Absolutely Best Way To Help Your Children
Grow Into Exceptional Adults
by
Gabriella Kortsch, Ph.D.
We send our kids to the best schools we can afford. We send them to immersion courses during the summer in other countries to perfect their foreign language skills. We make sure their food is nutritious, we organize tennis lessons, piano lessons, private tutors and if they need it, we send them to expensive dermatologists to help with their acne. We buy over-priced school and sports uniforms; we give in to their pleas for the latest fashion or technology craze, and it is abundantly clear that we love them very much and want the very best for them.
Yes. Not a doubt in my mind about it.
But today I wanted to discuss other aspects of helping them grow up well. And all of these have to do with us. Not with them.
Happiness
What does your own happiness depend on? Do you need your external circumstances to be just so in order to be happy? Or have you found the way to being happy no matter what the external circumstances? In other words, have you worked on yourself enough to depend on yourself for your happiness? What a wonderful gift to give your children! Can you do this?
Related Articles:
- Happiness: Has it Become a Science or is it a Question of Luck?
- Nurture Yourself to Happiness & Success
- Intentional Focus: Your Happiness, Your Success, & the Law of Attraction
How self aware are you? How well do you really know yourself? What are the buttons that trigger your reactions? Do you then act on those blind reactions or are you so self-aware that you are able to choose to remain conscious? If you do not remain conscious when your buttons are pushed, and you become reactive (you react blindly), you are teaching something as harmful to your children as you would be if you were giving them drugs.
Related Articles:
- Tending Your Inner Garden
- How Your Thoughts Change Your Body
- Giving Birth To Yourself
- The Unexamined Life
What kind of choices do you make? How much responsibility do you take for resolving your own issues? When you make your choices – every day – during your entire life, do you remember to be aware in order to recognize that at each step of the way you always have alternatives? Do you remember that you are responsible for everything you feel, think, say, and do? In other words, you need not yell, you need not cry, you need not despair, you need not fear, you need not resort to anger, because you always have another alternative. Do you know how to live in such a way that the alternative you choose is the one that creates most well-being for you, and hence – by ripple effect – for those that live with you? If you do this – and consistently show it to your children – you are giving them a great gift.
Related Articles:
- Making Choices: Taking Responsibility For Our Lives
- What Are Your Addictions?
- Create a New Life: One Intention at a Time or Thoughts Create Molecules
- Claiming Responsibility For the Self
Are you free of codependence, manipulation, and enmeshment? No? I really did not expect you to say yes, you know. But it is very important that you recognize that some or all of these continue to form part of your life. That’s called being aware. Then, deciding to do something about them is called making choices and being responsible for the self.
Here’s how it works: you fall into some of your old traps, like noting codependent behavior with your spouse, sibling, parent, or anyone else, or like realizing you have once again attempted to manipulate someone … perhaps your child, in order to create the behavior you desire in a specific situation. If you are doing this, and if you are aware of it, recognize also that you are teaching your child behavior that will fetter him to self-destructive and negative ways of dealing with life. You can change this by giving your child the gift of your change. Working on yourself will bring this about.
Related Articles:
- Do You Like the Person You Are Alone With?
- Finding it Hard to Love Yourself? Check Out Your Boundaries
- Do Your Relationship Boundaries Contribute to Your Well-Being?
- Controlling Ourselves, Our Lives, and the People in Them
Do you tend to blame others? Are you a victim of events or people in your life? Can you forgive? What you show your child by one or the other mode of behavior, will, in some ways, determine his/her chance at happiness now and in the future. Learn not to blame – no matter what - stop being a victim – no matter what - and begin to forgive – no matter what - in order to teach all of this to your child by virtue of your own example!
Related Articles:
- Grow in Richness: Stop the Blaming
- Can You Forgive?
- Living Without Bitterness and Resentment
- Gratitude, Choice, and the "Why Did This Happen to Me?" Syndrome
- Can You Decide to Make the Best of a Job You Hate?
Do you walk your talk? Do you say one thing and do another? Are you authentic? Are you really the way you portray yourself to be? Do you actually know who that is? This goes back to self awareness. It goes to meaning. It is implicit in happiness. Discover yourself because only if you do that, can you really walk your talk and in the process show your child what it means to be authentic.
Related Articles:
- How Important Is It To Be You?
- Are You In Alignment With Who You Really Are?
What is the central meaning of your life? Is there passion in your life, in that which gives meaning to it? Does your energy soar (not only your physical energy, but in particular, you inner energy, your psycho-emotional energy, the way you feel yourself vibrate inside) when you involve yourself with whatever it is that gives meaning to your life? Having this; finding this, implementing this, and then truly living it is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child as a role model he or she can follow.
Related Articles:
- Finding a Meaning for your Life
- Are You Living The Life You Want To Live?
- Have You Recognized the Symbols in Your Life?
Are you always reliving past glories? Or past hurts? Or are you always counting the time until something special will happen – that raise at work, your vacation, the weekend, etc.? In other words, are you always living at any time other than the present? If so, recognize what you are teaching your child. This is the cause of much unhappiness in the lives of so many. Don’t let your child be one of them. Teach him/her something different by learning to remain in the present yourself. Become aware of all the now moments you are losing and begin to systematically change this in order to make your life so much better and in the process give your child the gift of the now.
Related Articles:
- Where Are You Now?
- Living in the Now: Use It to Enrich Your Life
- Entering the Now Moment by Leaving Unawareness Behind
- All You Have Is Now
Be open with your children! Show them that you can make mistakes, or that you can learn from them. Show them that you are open to being open, and that you invite openness from them, no matter what they want to confide in you! Doing this is both easy and hard. It’s easy because it is really just a question of choosing to be like this, but it’s hard because in order to be like this, you must also choose to become self-aware and conscious at all times, choose to make yourself responsible for all that you feel, think, say, and do, and hence choose to work on all the those aspects that complicate this as discussed in previous sections of this article.
Related Articles:
- Transparency in Relationships
Remember this: the love you have for your child (newborn, toddler, teenager or adult child) must come before all other considerations. When there is a problem, in particular, an ego problem, for example, where one of you insists on being right, and as long as the other does not acquiesce to the rightness of that one, the relationship is on hold, you must remember that the love you have for each other – or even just the love you have for your child (in the event that at this particular moment your child has forgotten he loves you) – must be greater than the need to be right, or than the need for the problem to be resolved the way you think it ought to be.
Putting It All Together
Look within, work on yourself, become congruent, love yourself and realize that every positive thing you do in order to improve yourself will have a ripple effect on the lives of all those you touch.
You have so many gifts to give your child. No one expects you to be perfect. But you can start the road towards the goal of growth, self awareness, and loving yourself by beginning today with the first step. That first step is simply remembering to be conscious, and when you forget, forgiving yourself for forgetting, but praising yourself for at least having remembered that you forgot to remember to be conscious. And then doing it all over again … the more time you spend being conscious, the more quickly you will reach the goal of your own inner freedom, and the more quickly you will reach the goal of being able to offer your child the gift of your example with all of this.
I welcome your input on anything related to my e-newsletters. Got an idea? A suggestion? A comment? An experience you want to share? Let me know. Write to me anytime at
LOVE AT ANY AGE !
Do you believe in love at all times of life…at all ages? Have you experienced a new love after age 65? Maybe even after age 75? Or 85? Or more? And I know that many of you are also having a wonderful physical relationship to boot!
If you belong in the above category, or if you know of someone who does (family member, friend, colleague, neighbour), please write to me with your story. How did you meet? (Many are finding each other on the Internet or in personal ads). What happened?
I am putting together a collection of such stories for people of all ages because
stories such as these give everyone hope.
IF YOU WROTE ME RECENTLY, please note that due to an unforeseen glitch on the server, mail was not getting through. If you wrote, I would have answered, thanking you, so if you did not receive an answer, please post me a copy of your email. THANKS!
Please consider sharing your story. I will not share anything you send me without your express permission. Email me here.
Thank you…and thanks to those who have already written!
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For further thoughts on these and other topics, please visit mywebsiteorcontact meand send me your comments.
In addition to her private practice – see above photo - (English, Spanish, and German), incorporating both integral coaching, and dream analysis in individual therapy (private sessions) and relationship coaching, as well as cutting-edge psycho-energetics (meridian energy therapies), Dr. Gabriella Kortsch (Ph.D., CHT) has also been trained as a clinical hypnotherapist, and offers diverse workshops in the field of personal development and dream groups. Dr. Kortsch also offers phone consultations (domestic and international) to clients of more than twenty nationalities. A professional speaker, she is available to speak on a variety of related topics both publicly and privately for corporations, organizations, clubs, hospitals, and groups. For further information please contact her Marbella office by telephone +34 952 929 071, email, or see her website .
Charter Member of IPPA (International Positive Psychology Association)
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Upcoming Radio Shows
Weekly on Wednesdays from 11 – 12 noon CEDT (Central European Daylight Time)
See below for equivalent times in other locations
July 2: Using Technology to spy on your kids: Is there a better way to monitor what they are doing?
July 9: Being Compassionately Detached
July 16: The Purpose of Relationships
July 23: Shoes & Perspective
July 30: What does forgiving have to do with healing?
Ways To Listen
1)LIVE on your radio dial OCI FM 101.6 (Costa del Sol) or FM 94.6 (Costa Blanca)
2)LIVE on the web Onda Cero (Once there, click on “Internacional” on upper right)
3)Listen to over 60 archived audio files on my website
Equivalent Times in Other Locations: (Locally: CEDT)
or go to to convert from your time zone
11 pm – 12 midnight (Tuesdays) Honolulu
5-6 am New York City, Miami, Montreal, Toronto, Nassau, Sto. Domingo, Barbados
6-7 am Rio de Janeiro
9-10 am Reykjavik, Casablanca
10-11 am London, Lagos
11-12 noon (LOCAL) Madrid, Rome, Berlin, Paris,Warsaw, Tripoli, Harare, Cape Town
12-1 pm Bucharest, Riga, Istanbul, Cairo, Amman, Kuwait City, Addis Ababa, Nairobi
12:30-1:30 pm Tehran
1-2 pm Moscow, Dubai, Baghdad, Seychelles
2-3 pm Islamabad
2:30-3:30 pm New Delhi, Bangalore, Mumbai
4-5 pm Hanoi, Bangkok
5-6 pm Singapore, Hong Kong, Shanghai, Manila, Bali, Taipei, Perth
6-7 pm Tokyo, Seoul
7-8 pm Sydney
9-10 pm Auckland, FijiIslands
Check out more future topics on the website
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New audio clips are frequently being added to my website
For greater ease in finding what interests you, archived shows are now separated into topics
Addiction (2)
Aging (4)
Awareness & Consciousness (9)
Children & Life Development (11)
Dreams (5)
Emotions (23)
Family (9)
Miscellaneous Topics (4)
Relationships (20)
Se*uality (9)
Therapy (5)
Over 100shows are now up, and more are added frequently, as I get clips from the live shows at the studio and my webmaster is able to put them up
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Current Workshops 2008 in TheConscious Journey Within Workshop Series
Read about all 12 Workshops in the Series by clicking here
Email:r +34 952 929 071
Saturday, July 12, 2008 Workshop in English in Marbella:
Love & Relationship Challenges Seen Through the Lens of the Astrological Chart
Carl Gustav Jung, one of the world’s most renowned visionaries in the field of psychology, viewed astrology as an unprecedented tool for understanding the human psyche. Our greatest
relationship and love challenges can be seen in the natal horoscope, allowing you to
gain greater understanding and insight into your inner workings. Jungian analytical
psychologist and humanistic astrologer Liz Greene indicates that to neglect using this
tool would be like not using a microscope in scientific study. To attend this workshop, I will
need your birth information four days prior to the actual workshop, including time of birth, date,
and place of birth. In this workshop some typical relationship and love challenges will be
addressed in light of the astrological charts of the attendees to the workshop.
(Note: this workshop requires sign-up and full payment by Tuesday, July 8, 2008, and due to extensive work on each participant’s chart prior to the workshop, has a higher cost - 100 € - than the other workshops).
Click here for further information about this workshop
Upcoming Workshops August –October2008:
August 9 Se··x··ual and Love Triangles: How do they slip into our lives and why do
individuals so frequently participate in them, tolerate them, and endure the
pain they entail?(Marbella)
When one partner in a relationship is involved with a third person, the emotions that may arise can range from acutely destructive jealousy to deep suffering and pain, hot rage, abject humiliation, betrayal, pain, sorrow, and disgust. An inner sense of breaking down can accompany these already difficult emotions, and the individual may feel it is impossible to go on. What of the other two in the triangle? Their emotions may also be fraught with pain, and need to be examined. In a situation of such potential suffering for the three individuals involved, it is not merely a question of making decisions about how one could feel better. Rather, it is important to recognize that these situations come into one’s life for a purpose, and if they are not paid attention to, then there will be no purpose, and the suffering will have been in vain. This workshop examines triangles, how to begin to consciously understand them, and how to deal with them.