ACTIVE LISTENING EXAMPLE
Parents have just arrived at a psychiatric emergency room with the police and their 23 year old son who is experiencing an acute schizophrenic episode. The parents are meeting with the counselor who is assigned to provide support for families in crisis situations.
Counselor: While Dr. Simmons is seeing your son, I’d like to get your views on what just happened.
Father: Well, it got so bad, we had to call the police.
Mother: I don’t even know if I can tell you. It’s all been so confusing. He’s been acting strange for weeks, but these last few days . . .
Father: (Interrupting) He’s been up all night for weeks - laughing and talking to himself. First he just told us God was talking to him. Then he started talking about how people were out to get him. When he asked about where I kept my gun, I got really scared. I knew there was no way this was going to settle down.
Mother: I’ve tried to get him to call his old therapist, but he wouldn’t. He needs help.
Father: So I told him, “You have to come with us to the hospital,” and he swung at me and locked himself in his room.
Mother: When he’s himself, he’s very gentle, but when he gets like this, we get scared.
Counselor: I’m sure you do. So this has been getting worse for weeks?
Mother: At least. We’ve put up with a lot, you know. We don’t like to do this to him.
Counselor: I guess you wouldn’t have gotten the police involved unless things were really bad.
Father: He was talking about “getting even” with the CIA.
Mother: We don’t exactly know what he means, but we get scared. Now he blames us for everything, he says the CIA is controlling our minds. I’m afraid he might hurt us. Himself, too.
Counselor: Clearly, you’ve been through a lot in the last few weeks and particularly tonight. It must be tough when he blames you.
Mother: It’s terrible, and you know, no one ever understands. He’s had problems for 6 years and no one ever has really helped him.
Father:(Angrily) And now you can’t get him into a hospital unless he’s out of control. I got him to come down 2 weeks ago before things were so bad, but when he wouldn’t sign himself in, they just let him go. They could see he was crazy.
Mother: It’s the law, Joe. They can’t make him stay unless he’s dangerous.
Father: What kind of a law is that? Do they think we want to see him in a hospital just for the fun of it?
Counselor: It must be really frustrating to see someone you love getting worse and not being able to do anything about it, not being able to get anyone to help
Father: It sure is. I’ve about had it. And, I’m still not sure we did the right thing.
Mother: I know - he’ll blame us for making him come here, and it will be more trouble.
Counselor: Really, it sounds as though you did the only thing you could under the circumstances. You coped as well as anyone for as long as you could.
Mother: I guess so, but it breaks my heart to see him go through it again.