Action Refection #3 – a Buddhist patient

By Navnit Bhalla March 2016

Section 1:

The venue is Mills Peninsula Hospital in Burlingame where I am a volunteer chaplain. I was approached by one of our classmates, Y C , via e-mail that one of her Chinese sangha members was quite ill and at M** Hospital. She wondered if I could visit with him. She was not sure which room number. I had already done my weekly volunteering but without hesitation, I agreed to make a special visit to see Mr. W. The next day I went to M** Hospital and visited Mr. W. The visit lasted about an hour and a half.

Prior to the visit I was thinking that it was nice of Y C to reach out to me to visit one of her sangha members. Also it was fortunate that Mr. W was in a sangha that really cared. It seems that the Sangha regularly called and kept in touch with Mr. W. I presume that the sangha provably does that with all their members who are not well or in some kind of dire straits.

I wasn’t anxious or apprehensive about the visit. But I was wondering if Mr. W spoke English or what his take might be on Buddhist teachings or what his state of mind might be. Would he be in too much pain? All these questions filtered though my mind. I observed my questions and let the questions just be questions. I was not going to presuppose any scenario and would take it as it comes.

One administrative type question did come up and that was what the hospital protocol might be since this patient was not assigned to me by the Hospital Chaplain Rev. S O? I figured once I get there I could check with the office. And which I did. The office manager, D was not there but another fellow volunteer chaplain was there who said it was OK but she checked her master list first. She tracked Mr. W down to his room number 3*** and exclaimed that the form says he has not identified his religion. I stated that as far as I know he is a Buddhist. She promptly added that information into the form. I logged in my “check-in” in the hospital computer and trotted off to visit with Mr. W.

Section2:

The door was closed and the sign outside stated that patient was a high-risk “fall” patient. This means that the patient was not allowed to walk by himself. He had to have assistance whenever he got out of his bed.

I gently opened the door, slightly, and knocked. The heavy hospital doors are so sound proof that if you don’t open the door slightly you can’t hear if the patient were to ask you to enter.

“Knock knock.” I said, “May I come in?”

There was a brief pause.

“Yes. Come in.” I heard a voice.

There was a curtain just behind the door, which separated the patient from the direct view of anyone entering. I parted the curtain and said, “Hello. My name is Navi. I am a volunteer chaplain here at the hospital. May I come in?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you. One of your sangha members Y C, she asked me to visit. Hope it is okay.” I carried on.

There was a slight pause from Mr. W and then he said, “Oh yes. Please come. Yes it is fine.”

I walked around the bed to the other side and stood half way along side the bed facing Mr. W. The room was dark with no TV or sounds from any machines. However the vital stat monitor was working showing various vital indications of Mr. W. We exchanged a few more pleasantries and then he said, “Why don’t you pull a chair. Please sit.”

I removed the chair that was by the wall and carried it closer to the bed.

As we talked for a minute or so it appeared that he was not hearing me well. I observed that he turned his face more towards me so that his left ear was more in my direction. I picked my chair and moved around the bed to his left side and then he could hear me better. We smiled and I sat down to see what might unfold before me.

The board on the wall, in the room, stated his daughters and their phone numbers and some more info about his feeding, nurse in charge and doctor. We talked a bit about his daughters and I asked where he lived and if he was fully retired. Mr. W is over 80 years old.

From my initial conversation and observations it seemed that Mr. W was very alert and well educated and his English was excellent. He is from Hong Kong and I shared some insights about China from my visit there.

A nurse entered. She wanted to do something but when she saw my badge (my badge reads Volunteer Chaplain with my photo ID!) she said she would come back. She returned later after an hour and only to be surprised that I was still there and then mentioned that once I was done she would be doing some tests on the patient.

Not sure what transpired but suddenly it seemed we were talking about how Mr. W was so profoundly impressed with the teachings of the Buddha. He said he loved reading the Suttas and took great interest in them.

“I prefer the Suttas to the commentaries.” He said.

I smiled and added, “The Suttas do make great reading but why do you prefer them?”

He replied that he liked the methodical aspect of the Suttas and felt that the message was real and applicable. Commentaries, he said, seemed to be at times quite differently interpreted by different people and he was not sure what was accurate.

We talked some more and the conversation drifted to what his occupation was and where he lived.

He said that he was an engineer and lived nearby. Apparently he was a scientist of some repute and he had either invented or patented some products. The conversation then moved on to how he got himself in the hospital.

It was night time and while in bed he realized that he might have left the downstairs window open. So he went downstairs to check on the window and in the process lost his balance fell down and hit his head either on the floor or something else. During the days that followed the fall he continuously felt pain and difficulty and a couple of weeks later he saw his doctor who at once asked him to admit himself in the hospital. He had serious internal damage to his head and brain area. So, here he was in bed at the hospital. He said his blood pressure was being checked every three hours or so.

Earlier he had mentioned that he had joined a Sutta reading group at his Buddhist temple in Mountain View.

“So what moved you to join the Sutta reading group?” I asked him

“Well, in my family we were predominantly of another religion. At this stage in my life I wasn’t finding much comfort or something that suited me. So I tried to look into Buddhism. I find that the Buddha’s Suttas are very informative and logical.”

“So how does it make you feel?”

“Well it seems to give meaning to my life at this stage. You see I did make money and my inventions do help but then how much more advancement can we take? The Suttas give me a lot of meaning.”

“But tell me,” he asks, “ Why were the Buddha’s Suttas not written during his time? Why were they written after his death? It seems that during the time he was born there was script or writing n China and India wasn’t it?”

“Well, I too ask that question, but I do not know the answer.” I respond. We than touched on how the Buddha’s Teachings worked their way into China from India. So we talked a bit about that and the conversation led to Ananda, Buddha’s cousin and attendant. Mr. W very fondly said that Ananda’s photographic memory really helped with capturing the Suttas. We talked about sila, samadhi and panna and then it went on to equanimity and its effect. I shared with him the Vipassana technique vis-e-vis equanimity. We continued our conversation till it was time for his blood pressure test and I departed by bowing to him and wishing him well. We had laughed, talked about serious matters and chatted about life. I felt I was of service to Mr. W but then the real question is what did Mr. W feel?

Section 3:

We get attracted to things that we find benefit in. One might find happiness in just looking at a flower. One might find solace in a Sutta or particular Teachings. Whatever that might be if it brings peace, comfort, good feeling in us then that thing is valuable.

In Mr. W’s case he found great comfort in the sayings of Lord Buddha. Perhaps it was his “engineer” type of mind that liked logical, numerical and systematically processed information that appealed to him. And in my opinion the greatest scientist of the Mind is Lord Buddha. All of his Teachings are complete! We cannot really change even one of his words in any of his teachings. Not only that but the Buddha’s Teachings are Universal – applicable to one and all.

Many times when I read a sutta I feel that the content is so relevant even in todays world. How so when the words were written some 2,600 years ago? Well because they are Universal and produced by a fully enlightened being.

Mr. W and I touched on the three parts of the Teachings – the Vinaya, the Suttas and the Abhidhamma. The Theravada tradition seems to be the most directly involved and contains the earliest materials of the Teachings.

Our conversation had somehow worked itself into an area where I found myself discussing Vipassana. I think it was a comment made by either Mr. W or myself about “seeing” things. The topic centered around Vipassana.

Really, if you drill down into the Buddha’s message what do you find?

Well, three things - but most powerful of the three, although one could not say that anyone of the three is more powerful or important than the other, is Anicca. Impermanence. We talked about this. This discovery or re-discovery by Gautama the Buddha was, in my opinion, the most profound and deep. With the perfect understanding (theory) of Anicca, one can then move onto the experiential arena. The rising and passing away of the Kalapas as we experience the sensations on our body is the arena of experiential Anicca. Nothing is permanent! We discussed it. One of his conclusions during our conversation sought to clarify the way we should look at life. At his age and for that matter at any age, a mature person might ask this – how should we look at life?

And then there is the declaration by the Buddha– “Yatha-bhutha” – this means “As it is”. This principle is so powerful that learning it may take life times. Usually we want things to be as we wish them to be or as they ought to be. But accepting things as they are is quite different. Why? Well because then it forces us to be just a witness, I guess. Accepting things as they are not as they ought to be or as I want them to be.

Not being able to readily practice “As it Is” in our daily life is the cause to our suffering.

And further to the earlier comment by Mr. W about “seeing” things, I elaborated on the practice of Vipassana. I explained that as we observed the rising and passing away of the sensations on the body we needed to observe them with the understanding of Anicca. The mind has to be as calm and balanced as possible even if it is for a brief second - No me. No mine. No I. Added to the understanding of Anicca is the principle of yatha butha. The sensations arising are impermanent as they arise. The sensations passing are impermanent as they pass away. And the sensations could be pleasant, unpleasant or neutral. Whatever the case, we observe them with as balanced a mind as possible with the understanding of impermanence. This practice starts to build or cultivate our equanimity. Equanimity or looking at things with equanimity helps us to reduce our suffering. And that is what we want, isn’t it? And this is actually applicable to and till the last moment of our life; to the last breath. And as suffering is reduced it is replaced by happiness. There is less misery.

I am not sure if we discussed this or not but I sometimes ask myself how do I know that I am progressing on the path as I practice Sila, Samadhi and Vipassana (Panna)? I had actually asked this question to a teacher and he had answered me thus, “ Let’s say you do keep sila and samadhi and are doing Vipassana meditation – then prior to the start of adopting this practice let’s say it took you 5 days to get over your anger episodes. But now as you practice it takes you let’s say 4 days to get over. Well you have gained a day of peace. That is the progress you have made. And slowly slowly you will be able to reduce the time even more and a time might come, even now, that you might not get angry at things that greatly anger you. This is the benefit as long one practices Vipassana it correctly.”

The path to one’s liberation is long and narrow and the speed at best is super slow. Why? Because it is tough.

Since Mr. W is interested in Suttas, I feel that the Mahasattipattana Sutta is one of the most powerful and important Suttas in all of the Buddha’s Teachings – not that the other Suttas are lesser. This Sutta was especially geared towards the more ardent and advanced students of the Buddha. This Sutta lays out the path for the purification of the beings. This Sutta also addresses the eradication of sorrow and understanding the reality or truth of our nature and therefore enabling a being for Liberation. The mind-body phenomenon is clearly explained in this Sutta via the principle of the Dependent Origination. When I tried to discuss this with Mr. W it seemed that I had perhaps over-reached myself. Even to me unless I have the Sutta in front of me it is difficult to articulate but in my mind I know the teaching. All things culminate in sensations; sensations are caused by whatever arises in our minds. So the thoughts, ideas anything that arises in the mind, flows from the mind together with sensations. This is important. Because we usually tend to react to any external stimuli or mental thought instead of looking at things with a balanced mind. So according to the Sutta if we observe the sensations we can survey our self in both the physical and mental planes – body and mind – then we start to realize the impermanence, the nothingness and the removal of suffering and sankharas. The Buddha gave full importance to vedana i.e. sensations. Vedana becomes the essential part of the experience and not just intellectualization. So there is the understanding of Anicca and anatta and Dukha while we feel the sensations and observe our body and mind. However, Anicca continues to be the main focus here and plays a crucial role. And therefore the experience of Anicca as it shows on the body and mind is really what the Buddha called Vipassana. According to me and from what I have read and experienced, the practice of Mahasatipattahan Sutta and the practice of Vipassana is the same thing. Or the practice of awareness with sensations is the way to equanimity and one’s Liberation.