Coping with a Cancer Recurrence:

A Seminar for Patients, Caregivers and Those Who Support Them

Karen Tripp MS LMFT President Cancer Companions

It is more likely for a person who has already had cancer to have cancer again than for a person who has never had cancer to have cancer the first time.

Physical issues

  • Did your body tell you the cancer was back or did a test? Different outlooks.
  • Typically they do not use the same treatment as last time. Stronger Chemo? Limited Radiation? Weakened immune system?
  • Need to re-learn what treatment is like. “I guess I can go through that again.”
  • Typically more treatment choices. Protocols created from research are not as clear.

SUGGESTIONS: Be authentic with your medical team.

  1. Take control of your treatment schedule. Make chemo/radiation apts. when you need them.
  2. Be your own best advocate with your medical team or bring a friend who will be.
  3. Don’t compare your cancer to others.

Relationships

  • Most families do not expect recurrences. Scans/checkupsduring survivorship maynothave been discussed.
  • Many people will not understand the difficulties of a recurrence and expect more than you can give.
  • Everyone was exhausted last time. One person diagnosed/all frightened
  • Family members are in different places this time-
  • if years since last treatment- age, jobs, location
  • if months since last treatment- primary care giver exhausted or sick.
  • Isolation from friends/family might increase.
  • Harder to ask for help… again. But probably need more help.

SUGGESTIONS: Be authentic with your family and friends.

  1. Evaluate the way the family handled treatment last time and brainstorm changes.
  2. Take special care to make sure primary caregiver is nurtured and supported in their efforts.
  3. Privacy is good. Secrets and over protectiveness is not. Even if done for love.
  4. “No one wants to hear me talk about this anymore.” Perhaps look for someone not part of immediate caregiver team to be a spiritual and emotional support.
  5. You know person with diagnosis AND caregiver will become more depleted over time. Make arrangements now for help now.
  6. Accept not everyone you want to be supportive will be supportive. Reach out only to those most needed.

Faith Walk

  • Even with scan anxiety, many Christians are startled Jesus carried them through cancer once to have them deal with it again.
  • Questions - Why again? Why now? What is Jesus up to with my cancer?
  • Living in the moment- submitting to Jesus to find peace.
  • Having hard days emotionally/spiritual is not evidence of lack of faith. It’s evidence you are human.
  • When we are physically ill/exhausted we are more vulnerable to doubts, despair and depression.

SUGGESTIONS:Be authentic with God. (Psalm 13)

  1. Don’t avoid church/bible studies etc.
  2. Seek out Christian music, messages, friends, events.
  3. Submit that God is in control even if you are not. Romans8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
  4. Seek out a spiritual mentor.

Future Plans

  • Treatment always makes planning difficult. Appointments, side effects, etc.
  • “Is the treatment working?” Waiting for the next test/scan.
  • After first treatment, typically reprioritize leisure, family, etc . How do you fit this into more treatment?
  • Financial concerns may increase.

SUGGESTIONS: Be authentic about your desires for the future.

  1. Seize the day. If you feel good, do something to bring you joy.
  2. Expect the people around you to rejoice in your spontaneity rather than expect unrealistic commitments.
  3. Acknowledge the pull to let fear keep you from making plans.
  4. Hold tight to Jesus as the true holder of your future as He holds you in His hand.