1
“What is This Mess?”
By,
Robert Venne
Copyright © 2001 Robert Venne
FADE IN
Ext. Night
CHELSEY and LUC are stargazing on the
Porch
CHELSEY
It’s beautiful out here tonight, under the stars.
LUC
Yep, it sure is. Being out here looking up at the sky and looking at my favorite star.
CHELSEY
Oh, Luc how thoughtful of you thinking of me like that!
LUC
No! I meant the star Polaris. What did you think I meant?
CHELSEY
(Weeping)
I thought you meant me. I thought I was your favorite star.
LUC
Chelsey, you know I meant you. You are my favorite star. I really like you and you like me. But I never show it.
CHELSEY
Look it’s the Big Dipper.
LUC
And the Little Dipper.
CHELSEY
I see Orion’s Belt!
LUC
And Uranus!
CHELSEY
Luc!
LUC
What?
Ext. Night
CHELSEY’S Cabin
CHELSEY
Boy, did I have a great time with you tonight.
LUC
Do you think we could do this again sometime?
CHELSEY
Maybe, I’ll write you a note. Okay.
LUC
Okay. I’ll be waiting for your note.
Starts to leave
CHELSEY
Wait! I know it is usually hard for you to say those three magical words. But . . .
LUC
But what?
CHELSEY
I’m sorry. But I can’t stand listening to you.
LUC
Listening to me? Why?
CHELSEY
I don’t know why really.
LUC
So you’re saying . . .
CHELSEY
Yep, I don’t like you.
LUC
But why?
CHELSEY
I think… I think… I think your gay. And I think you like someone else also.
CHELSEY goes into the cabin
LUC
Wait! I’m not . . .
No answer
. . . gay. So I guess she won’t be writing me.
Ext. Night
LUC is going to cabin
LUC
Gay. Why did she call me gay? Do I act like I’m gay? No. Why would I ask her out on a date if I were gay? I was being sweet. Is that why? It can’t be.
LUC gets to his cabin
Int. Night
LUC’s cabin
LUC
I’m too depressed to change.
Goes to his sleeping bag and gets into it and cries himself to sleep
Int. Day
LUC’S dream
LUC and CHELSEY are at a table and another girl named STACEY is right behind LUC’s chair at another table. The room looks like a restaurant.
LUC
How did you like your meal?
CHELSEY
It is good. I really loved the steak.
LUC
Chelsey, I have something to tell you. It is going to be hard though.
CHELSEY
Yeah go on.
LUC
Chelsey, I – I – I luu . . .
CHELSEY
Yeah what are you trying to say.
LUC
I – luuu . . . I luu . . .
CHELSEY
What are you saying?
LUC
Wait a sec.
CHELSEY
Okay?
LUC Turns around and says in a half voice
LUC
I love you. I love you. I love you.
And now in a regular voice
I love you!
STACEY
What did you say to me?
LUC looks up and notices STACEY and says dreamy-eyed
LUC
I love you?
CHELSEY
What? What did you say? I – I hate you Luc, you’re a sleaze.
I hope you die.
LUC
CHELSEY, wait I – I – I can explain!
CHELSEY
Explain it to your new girl! BYE!
Int. Night
LUC’s cabin
LUC
Bolts up-right in his bed
Noooooooo! I have to talk to Chelsey!
Int. Day
CHELSEY and STACEY’s cabin
CHELSEY and STACEY are cleaning the cabin
CHELSEY
Do you know who Luc is?
STACEY
Yeah, I think he’s hot.
CHELSEY
Well, I hate him.
STACEY
So. I think he is so cute, with that smile of his.
CHELSEY
He smiles too much.
KNOCK at door
BOTH
Come in!
LUC comes in
LUC
Chelsey, I need to talk to you.
CHELSEY
Go away!
STACEY
Talk to the poor guy. Luc?
LUC
Yeah.
STACEY
I don’t think your gay.
LUC
At least someone thinks that I’m not!
CHELSEY
STACEY, I don’t care what you think.
STACEY
How about I just leave the two of you alone to talk
Leaves the cabin, but stays near the door
LUC
Listen to me, Chelsey.
No answer
Please. Okay you don’t need to listen to me.
CHELSEY
I’m not listening.
LUC
I’ll just talk; you don’t need to listen. I love you . . . and STACEY also. But I like you more. I had a dream last night.
CHELSEY doesn’t even care what LUC is saying. CHELSEY is just cleaning the cabin.
LUC
You and I were eating together and I wanted to tell you something but I couldn’t, so I turned around to try to get confidence in saying I love you but STACEY heard me say it and she thought I said it to her.
CHELSEY is now folding her clothes
LUC
And you got very mad and then left. Now, I don’t know what to do. I thought coming here would help me. But I guess it doesn’t. So, I’ll just have to leave. Bye.
LUC leaves
CHELSEY
Luc!
No answer
Bye.
STACEY comes in
STACEY
What did you tell him to make him leave?
CHELSEY
Nothing I didn’t talk to him at all. He told me that he loved me and he likes you too.
STACEY
He likes me. I thought he despised me.
CHELSEY
Nope.
Int. Day
LUC’s cabin
LUC is lying on his bed, a KNOCK is heard at the door.
LUC
Come in!
STACEY comes in not knowing why
STACEY
You sent for me.
LUC
Yeah. It’s a good thing to. I have to tell you something.
STACEY
So what do you want to tell me?
LUC
Well I like you . . . a lot. And I was wondering if you would like to go to the dance with me on Thursday?
STACEY
Let me think.
Pause
Yes I will. But . . .
LUC
But what?
STACEY
Why me?
LUC
Well Chelsey..
STACEY
Chelsey?
LUC
Yeah, well she won’t talk to me and right now she hates me. And I don’t think it would be right asking her.
BELL is heard
LUC
Well that’s the supper bell. You go to supper. I’m not hungry.
STACEY
Okay though.
STACEY starts to leave
LUC
Wait!
STACEY
What! I’m hungry
LUC goes to STACEY
What. What’s the problem?
LUC gets closer
I’m going to be late
LUC dives in for a kiss and STACEY accepts it and they start kissing. DILLON (LUC’s cabin buddy) comes by and opens the door and sees LUC and STACEY kissing. DILLON is stunned and runs away.
Int. Night
Supper
CHELSEY is at one table and there is a space at CHELSEY’s table, and two more empty spaces at LUC’s table
CHELSEY
Should I ask Luc to the dance?
SARAH
Yeah, I think you should.
DILLON comes running into the mess hall
JOE
You’re late Dillon. Now our table will have to get our food last because of you.
TRAY
Dillon, by the way where is Luc.
DILLON
Luc was K-I-S-S-I-N-G a girl in the cabin.
TRAY
What? Who?
DILLON
STACEY.
SARAH
What are you looking at?
CHELSEY
Where’s Luc.
SARAH
STACEY is not here either. How can that be?
CHANDA
Maybe they’re kissing
Everyone at the table laugh.
SARAH
That can’t happen. Luc hates STACEY.
Two different conversations between the boys table and the girls table.
JOE
Does Chelsey know about this?
SARAH
No, I don’t know where they can be. They won’t be with each other. I know that for sure!
LAUGHTER is heard
DILLON
Yes I’m sure Chelsey doesn’t know.
TRAY
Should we tell . . .
DILLON
No! We can’t if she finds out. Luc will be dead.
JOE
But . . .
SARAH
But what?
CHELSEY
When shall I tell Luc?
LAUGHTER is heard again. LUC and STACEY come in. Their hair is messed up and laughing.
JOE and SARAH
Look there they are!
SARAH
But why are they together?
DILLON
Where were you?
JOE
Like we know!
DILLON
Shut up!
LUC
Like you need to know.
CHELSEY
And where were you?
STACEY
Me?
CHELSEY
No the person behind you with the messed up hair. Yes you.
STACEY fixes up her hair
CHELSEY
So what were you doing to get that fantastic hairdo?
STACEY
If you really want to know
All the girls at the table lean in closer
STACEY
Well, I was kissing someone.
SARAH
Who?
KELLY
Was he sweet?
JANET
Is he a good kisser?
STACEY
I won’t tell you anything. Well, yes he is sweet. And sort of a good kisser.
Ext. Night
Porch
LUC is on the porch looking up at the stars and swatting bugs
LUC
I hope . . .
CHELSEY goes outside when LUC says “hope”
LUC
Chelsey doesn’t get mad at me for what I did.
CHELSEY
Chelsey doesn’t get mad at what?
LUC
Oh nothing!
CHELSEY
Is there any thing I need to know?
LUC
Uhh, I don’t think so. So why are you out here?
CHELSEY
I guess I just wanted to look up at the stars.
LUC
Look it’s Uranus!
CHELSEY
That is sooo old. I’m not dumb. I know where you got that from, you Austin Powers freak!
LUC
So.
CHELSEY
I was just wondering if you had a date for the dance on Thursday?
LUC
Uh, umm. No. Wait are you saying.
CHELSEY nods
Yes, I guess. But don’t you hate me?
CHELSEY
I thought about your dream and I thought about you. Not understanding YOUR own dreams. And I thought you might need help and I know the person who can do this?
LUC
Who? You?
CHELSEY nods
LUC
Well okay. That’s if you can help.
CHELSEY leaves. LUC suddenly realizes something.
LUC
What is this mess that I got myself into?
Int. Next Day
Arts and Crafts - the mess hall is used for Arts and Crafts
CAMP COUNSELOR 2
If anyone has any hair coloring dye or anything to that nature please bring to the talent show. The counselors need to borrow it to do there skit.
GARY
Luc what are you writing.
LUC
I’m writing STACEY a letter
CHELSEY overhears conversation from another table
CHELSEY
STACEY?
GARY
What are you telling her?
LUC
I’m giving her signs so only we can understand.
CHELSEY
Signs?
GARY
Ohhh!
CHELSEY
Luc!
LUC
Yeah.
CHELSEY
Come here. Now!
LUC
Yes, master
Goes to CHELSEY
LUC
What did I do now?
CHELSEY
You tell me!
LUC
Does it deal with a certain person and me?
CHELSEY
Who do you have in mind? If you don’t know how come you and STACEY came in the mess hall together with you hair messed up last night at supper. And she was talking about that she got kissed by some guy with no name.
LUC
I can explain.
CHELSEY
I figured it was either Dillon or you. My guess is . . .
LUC
Dillon?
CHELSEY
No! You! Did you kiss STACEY?
LUC
Ummm. If you really want to know. I did . . .
DILLON comes in; he is out of breath.
DILLON
Come quick. You guys should see what happened to STACEY.
LUC
What happened?
CHELSEY
So did you?
LUC
Not now! STACEY is hurt.
CHELSEY
Did you?
LUC
Shut up girl!
CHELSEY
What!
LUC
You heard me.
LUC leaves
CHELSEY
What did I do?
DILLON
I dunno?
DILLON leaves
CHELSEY
Wait a minute? Never mind. I’ll ask Dillon later. He must know something about STACEY and Luc.
Ext. Day
Wall Climbing area
CAMP COUNSELOR 1
Luc, your not supposed to be here. Where are you supposed to be?
LUC
Arts and Crafts.
CAMP COUNSELOR 1
So why are you here?
LUC
I heard STACEY had an accident here.
CAMP COUNSELOR 1
STACEY didn’t have an accident.
LUC
Dillon, you told me she got hurt here.
DILLON
Well, I lied.
LUC
You what! Dillon I want to talk to you now!
They walk away from the wall climbing area
So what do you have to tell me anything?
DILLON
Yeah. It happened yesterday. I was going to the cabin to tell you supper was ready and I happened to see you kissing STACEY.
LUC
Oh my god! Does Chelsey know anything about this? Where’s STACEY?
DILLON
I don’t know probably at her cabin.
LUC
I got to see her.
LUC leaves
DILLON
Wait! What if Chelsey catches you with her?
LUC
(Offstage)
I don’t care!
Int. Day
CHELSEY and STACEY’s cabin
STACEY is cleaning her spot of the cabin. She doesn’t know that LUC comes in. He goes to STACEY and covers her eyes.
LUC
(In a different tone of voice)
Guess who.
STACEY
Ummm. Luc.
LUC
(In normal voice)
How did you know!
STACEY
You’ve been in my mind all day.
LUC
I have to tell you something very important and I have to hurry.
STACEY
What?
LUC
Dillon saw me kiss you last night and I’m afraid Chelsey might know. Have you talked to her?
STACEY
No. Not since supper last night. Why?
LUC
She thinks I kissed you. But also thinks Dillon might have also.
STACEY
Oh my god!
LUC
What!
STACEY
Its all my fault.
LUC
No its not
STACEY
Yes it is, I told her at supper that I kissed someone.
LUC
Did you give her a name?
STACEY
Nope.
LUC
Good, she doesn’t know.
(Pause)
Oh my god!
STACEY
What?
LUC
What if Chelsey talks to Dillon?
STACEY
She won’t. I won’t let her.
Ext. Day
At the Waterfront.
LUC is with STACEY
LUC
(Points)
Look there is Chelsey. I think we should seperate right now.
STACEY
Okay.
They go in separate directions STACEY goes into the water to go swimming, CHELSEY watches as STACEY goes into the water the she spots LUC going somewhere to listen to his music. Then CHELSEY spots DILLON.
CHELSEY
Dillon. I need to talk to you
DILLON goes over to CHELSEY
DILLON
What do you want, Chels.
CHELSEY
Don’t call me Chels. Anyway I want to know something.
DILLON
What?
CHELSEY
Will you tell the truth?
DILLON
Depends.
CHELSEY
Do you know anything about Luc and STACEY? I think something is going on between them.
DILLON
Maybe, maybe not.
CHELSEY
What do you mean ‘maybe, maybe not?’
DILLON
I do know something and I sorta don’t know if it is true or not.
CHELSEY
Does it deal with last night before supper?
DILLON
Ummm.
CHELSEY
Wait, you might be lying to me. Luc might have not done anything. You could have kissed STACEY, because you were ALSO late for supper. Luc wouldn’t do anything like that. Would he? But he is a very bad kisser.
DILLON
I don’t think so. And yes I did lie. I did kiss STACEY.
CHELSEY
I thought you did and I guess I was right.
DILLON
You were?
CHELSEY
Well okay. That’s all I need to know.
DILLON
Okay.
CHELSEY leaves. DILLON goes to LUC
DILLON
STACEY come here.
STACEY goes over to LUC and DILLON
STACEY
What?
DILLON
Chelsey talked to me.
LUC
What did she say?
DILLON
She wanted to know who kissed STACEY.
LUC
I’m a goner!
STACEY
What did you tell her?
DILLON
I told her that . . .
LUC
How could you?
DILLON
I kissed her.
LUC
I’m dead-meat!
(Wait)
You lied to her. How could you? You know she doesn’t like people who lie to her.
(Pause)
Well I don’t know if she does not like people lying to her. I don’t even like her.
DILLON
(Surprised)
You what?
LUC
I don’t like her. My real love is STACEY. I love you STACEY.
STACEY
I don’t know what to say.
LUC suddenly realizes that his dream is coming true.
LUC
Oh my god!
STACEY
What, what’s the matter
LUC
The dream I told Chelsey is coming true.
STACEY
What dream?
DILLON
Yeah what dream?
LUC
Well, in my dream I was sitting at the same table with Chelsey. And I wanted to say I love you to her and I just couldn’t so I turned around and started saying it to build up my confidence.
DILLON and STACEY are so intrigued with LUC’s dream. They want to hear more.
LUC
(cont.)
And all of a sudden I said it loud and STACEY heard me and I told her what I said then Chelsey heard that and got mad at me and left.
STACEY
So that means.
LUC
Yep, If she finds out I love you more than her; she’ll get really, really mad at me.