Teens Being Kinder to Themselves

Teens being Kinder to Themselves

Practical Exercises

Self-Compassion Break

Think of a situation in your life that is difficult, that is causing you stress. Call the situation to mind, and see if you can actually feel the stress and emotional discomfort in your body (e.g. tight muscles, movement, changes in temperature, feeling heavy).

Now, say to yourself:

1. This hurts.

· Other options include:

· Ouch.

· This is stress.

· This is anger.

2. Other people feel this way.

· Other options include:

· I’m not alone.

· We all struggle in our lives.

· Everyone feels this way sometimes. It’s part of being human.

Now, put your hands over your heart, feel the warmth of your hands and the gentle touch of your hands on your chest. Or adopt the soothing touch you discovered felt right for you.

Say to yourself:

3. May I be kind to myself

You can also ask yourself, “What do I need to hear right now to express kindness to myself?” “How can I be kinder to myself?” Is there a phrase that speaks to you in your particular situation, such as:

· May I give myself the compassion that I need

· May I learn to accept myself as I am

· May I be strong.

Other options may include:

· I am doing the best I can

· I am a work in progress

· I am constantly learning

This practice can be used any time of day or night, and will help you remember to evoke the three aspects of self-compassion when you need it most.

Adapted from www.youth.anxietybc.com and www.self-compassion.org

Questions Teens Can Ask Themselves

Can I be more gentle or compassionate with myself? If not, what’s getting in my way?

What am I afraid might happen if I stop beating myself up and start cutting myself some slack?

Am I more understanding of people I care about and what they’re going through than I am with myself? If yes, why do I think this is?

What are the costs and benefits of being so hard on myself?

www.youth.anxietybc.com

Resources and Recommended Readings

Rosenberg, M. (2003). Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships

Delisle, D. & Delisle, J. (2007). Growing Good Kids: 28 activities to enhance self-awareness, compassion, and leadership

Kristen Neff – www.self-compassion.org

Greater Good – The Science of a Meaningful Life – www.greatergood.berkeley.edu