Revising Wordy Sentences (Exercise 1)

  1. The lunar mission was going to the moon.
  2. The mission was going to the moon.
  3. She did the daily paperwork every day.
  4. She did the paperwork every day.
  5. I experienced a frightening experience when my teenage daughter took me out for a drive.
  6. I was frightened when my teenager took me out for a drive.
  7. The quarterback who had been injured early in the season and had undergone extensive knee surgery to repair the damage had been conscientious about his rehabilitation exercises and was therefore feeling ready to play again only four months after the surgery.
  8. The quarterback injured early in the season was feeling ready to play again only four months after surgery.
  9. The lack of a warm pair of mittens and a hat on that very cold morning led to the trumpeter's inability to play well during the half-time show at the Thanksgiving game.
  10. The trumpeter was unable to play well during the half-time show at the Thanksgiving game because of the cold weather.
  11. Several unusual songs were sung by the Girl Scouts during their annual awards ceremony.
  12. The Girl Scouts sang several unusual songs during their awards ceremony.
  13. The Boy Scout Eagle rank was achieved by a boy who works with my son during the summer.
  14. The boy who achieved Boy Scout Eagle rank works with my son.
  15. Hundreds of items were marked down by the store management for the annual August clearance sale.
  16. Store management marked down hundreds of items for the August clearance sale.
  17. There are many people in this society who do not have enough leisure time.
  18. Many people in this society don’t have enough leisure time.

Revise the following sentences to make them less “noun heavy” (Exercise 2)

1.  The scientist came to the conclusion that she had made an important discovery

a.  The scientist concluded she had mad an important discovery.

2.  The United Nations wanted to conduct an inspection of the country's weapons storage facilities.

a.  The United Nations conducted an inspection of the country's weapons storage facilities.

3.  The committee reached a decision to hire the man it had interviewed.

a.  The committee decided to hire the man it had interviewed.

4.  The stance of the institution in regard to the question of affirmative action was unclear.

a.  The institution was unclear on their stance of on affirmative action.

5.  The group held the belief that disaster was coming at the close of the century.

a.  The group believed that disaster was coming at the close of the century.

6.  The opinion of my mechanic is that there is nothing wrong with the transmission of my car.

a.  My mechanic believes there is nothing wrong with my car's transmission.

7.  Their press release gave an explanation for the behavior of the demonstrators.

a.  Their press release explained the behavior of the demonstrators.

8.  The education reform law passed by the legislature demands that schools make improvements in their ways of teaching.

a.  The legislature passed an education reform law demanding that schools make improvements in their teaching.

9.  The composition of a piece of music is a requirement of the music theory course.

a.  The music theory class requires composing a piece of music.

10.  The man was justifiably proud of the achievement of his goal.

a.  The man was justifiable proud he achieved his goal.