Focus Lesson Planning Sheet

Focus Lesson Topic / Revising Leads
(adapted from Calkins and Martinelli, 2006)

Materials

Choose texts, lead techniques and/or the number of leads to discuss based on your grade level and class / Chart paper
Previously created anchor chart listing Qualities of Good Personal Narrative
Prepared sample of personal narrative writing (first portion of first draft) and alternate leads demonstrating attempts to use techniques being discussed in lesson, written large on chart paper
Mentor texts to model some strategies for writing good leads (for example Too Many Tamales by Gary Soto or Rodzina by Karen Kushman for leading with setting; Amazing Grace by Mary Hoffman or Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling for leading with character description; The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats or Room One by Andrew Clements for leading with small action; Come On, Rain by Karen Hesse or Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White for leading with dialogue; Letting Swift River Go by Jane Yolen or The Sea of Monsters by Rick Riordan for leading with character thought, reflection or internal dialogue

Connection

/ Yesterday we talked about how good writers go back into their work time and time again to make it better and better. We discussed how writers believe that when you think you’re done, you’ve only just begun. What you’ve begun is the next very important part of writing and we called that revision. Remember that revision means to look at again. When we revise we look at our writing again and find places we can work on to make better and stronger and we are going to learn a lot more about revision throughout this year.. Today we are going to talk about one of the most important and powerful ways a writer can revise her work.
Explicit Instruction
Add to previously created anchor chart Qualities of Good Personal Narrative
-Write a little seed story; don’t write all about a giant watermelon topic
-Zoom in so you tell the most important parts of the story
-Include true, exact details from the movie you have in your mind
-Build the story step-by-step; don’t just summarize
Add:
-Begin with s strong lead
Create new
Anchor Chart:
Strategies for Revising Leads (possibly including)
-image of setting
-description of character
-small action
-dialogue
-character thought, reflection or internal dialogue / One of the most important parts of a story is the very beginning, the first few sentences or even paragraphs. This is often called the lead of the story because its job is to lead readers into the story and make them want to keep going. Writers work on their leads very carefully so that they make readers want to read the rest of the story. When you write a story or when you come back to one and work on revising it, you could pay special attention to your lead. You could just keep on trying to write different leads over and over again, but one thing that writers do is to learn from the work of others. Writers know that when they hear something in a story they like, they can try a similar way of writing in their own work. We are going to look at the leads written by some famous authors. There are many strategies that writers use to craft good leads, but we are going to focus on the strategies used by these authors to see if we can try these strategies in our own writing too.
Read lead in each mentor text you selected and briefly discuss technique author used. Add to anchor chart as you discuss each. You might notice that some leads can actually combine strategies.
Now that we have looked at some possible strategies that writers use to revise their leads, watch me try using some of these techniques. I wrote this personal narrative story (read first several sentences of your prepared narrative) but now as I reread my beginning, I realize that it is not that great and that I should try to make it better. So I’m going to rewrite my beginning trying out the different strategies we just saw these great authors do in their leads.
Read through your new leads demonstrating how they use the strategies that you had highlighted from the mentor texts.
Guided Practice / As you watched me, you probably noticed that I tried to use the same strategies that we saw in these books. Now turn and talk to a partner about what specifically you see in the different leads which make them more interesting than what I had at first. Also discuss what I did as a writer to make that happen.
After a few moments briefly discuss what students noticed.
Send Off [for Independent Practice] / Today during Independent Writing go back to the beginning of the narrative you are working on. Reread your lead as you have it now and then try rewriting it using some of the strategies we learned about today from these authors. (gesture toward mentor texts)
Group Share / Students can share in partners or small groups the different attempts they made at revising leads.

Note: There are other strategies and techniques that authors use to craft leads including: onomatopoeia, a question, foreshadowing, a short statement, suspense, a controversial statement, etc. You could substitute any of these techniques into this first lesson exposing students to revising leads. You may also come back to revising leads as part of the revision work in another unit of narrative (either personal or fictional) or other genre, and highlight those techniques not taught in this unit or any other techniques you wish. You would not have to reteach the concept of leads, merely show some techniques not yet discussed. You may also find powerful leads in some of the books you read aloud. You could then add that technique to your anchor chart without having to teach the whole concept of revising leads again at that point.