Argument about Divorce
Since ancient times, marriage union is the core of society which facilitates behaviour and social conduct. Love, emotional and physical attractiveness are the main causes why people get marriage and have children, In spite of romantic relations and happy family life at the beginning of their marriage, many people divorce because of different reasons. Statistical results show that the main reasons of divorce include economic instability and changing social roles, infidelity, lack of understanding and love. Thesis Divorce can be the only solution to unhappy marriage if love and mutual understanding disappeared and result in abusive relations and distress.
Marriage couples should divorce if they have unhappy and unstable relations. Marriage union cannot exist without mutual feelings. Love is an exceptional feeling which supports marriage and happy family life. If mutual feelings do not exist, friendly and warm relations disappeared and result in separation and alienation of both spouses. On the other hand, marriage based on money or financial gain usually can also lack true feelings. Without mutual feelings marriage people cannot find pleasure in sexual relations seeing them as a matrimonial duty only. “If both spouses were consistently able to communicate with each other, able and willing to compromise with each other, and 100% committed to their marriage, it’s hard to see how it could fail” (What Causes Divorces 2007).
Sexual attractiveness is closely connected with an ideal image created by a person, while the desire to have children reflects sexual affection. It is possible to say that young people fall in love because they need sexual satisfaction with an ideal person to give birth to their children. During early age, the image of an ideal person (appearance, personal qualities, values, etc) causes people get marriage, but when young people grow up they become disillusioned with their past experience and life partners. In this case, people can divorce because they do not feel happy within the marriage which results in distress and emotional disorders. Also, critics state that “Adultery is the legal "gotcha," but it does not cause many divorces. The crud that drives husbands and wives apart causes divorces” (What Causes Divorces 2007). New romantic relations will help them to overcome these feelings and become happy.
Barriers to the dissolution of a relationship, on the other hand, include feelings of obligation to each other, concerns about effects of divorce on the children, fears about group and community reactions, religious prohibitions, abstract moral values, concerns about financial costs associated with divorce, and so on. Married couples frequently assess the happiness and satisfaction of their own marriages by comparing them with those of other couples they know. From the psychological point of view, men and women interpret differently the role of marriage in their life. Some critics argue that success in the workforce may make women more independent and therefore more selective about the men they will consider marrying. Very often marriage life does not meet expectations of the wife and the husband and it seems that it is impossible to live any longer. In this case, consultation with professional psychologists could help to save the marriage and solve daily problems (Regan 1999).
To refute these arguments, it is possible to say that people should not separate because divorce affects their children and causes distress for both spouses. To children, divorce does not mean the second chance that it so often means to one or both parents. Rather, it means the loss of their family— the entity that provides them with support, stability, security, and continuity in an often unpredictable world. Children assume that their family is a given and that their parents are permanent. After all, their family and parents are what provide for their needs. In their eyes, their family is intricately woven with survival. Studies uniformly find that divorce is a jolt to most children. Even youngsters who have lived in tense, conflict-ridden homes for many years seldom think of divorce as a remedy for unhappiness; the remedy would be for parents to stop fighting. Among children for whom verbalized threats of divorce have loomed for many years, the actual happening most often is perceived not as an expected event but as a nightmare that becomes a waking reality. The majority of children are intensely sad and feel a deep sense of loss—of their family, their security, even their daily routines and family traditions. Even most of those who never had a close relationship with their departing parent now long for that parent (Regan 1999).
On the contrary, bad family relations and lack of understanding between parents cannot create atmosphere of happiness within the family. When children are born to a union between husband and wife, it now means that decisions the two make no longer affect only themselves but also the children. It has been known for years that many couples stay together not because of their feelings for each other but because of their concerns about what a separation would mean for their children. These people deprive their children a chance to have a happy family based on mutual understanding and support, and deprive each other a second chance to find love and romantic relations with a new partner. I would get divorce because of abusive family relations and lack of mutual understanding and love which affected children and their psychological development.
In sum, if love and mutual understanding disappear, divorce can be the only way to overcome distress and emotional sufferings caused by lack of happiness and despair. Psychological consultation could help to solve some problems and adjust spouses, but if such consultations do not help divorce will be inevitable. Most of such marriages result in divorce because a husband and wife unsatisfied with coexistence which cannot be considered as a union.