A Light in the Dark: Bell Labs Prove Existence of:
Dark Suckers
Compiled By: Dr. Michael H. Suckley –
As we explore this wonderful world we find various explanations for the physical interactions we observe and experience. These explanations are tested by our minds our colleagues and by how well they work over time. This article suggests an alternate explanation of light. A Dark Sucker has been attached to this document used it to explore the Dark Sucker theory.
For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light. However, recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electric bulbs do not emit light, they suck dark. Thus they are now called dark suckers. The Dark Sucker Theory, according to a Bell Labs spokesperson, proves the existence of dark, which dark has a mass heavier than that of light, and that dark travels faster than light.
The basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. Take for example the dark suckers in the room where you are. There is less dark in the immediate area of the dark suckers than there is elsewhere in the room. The larger the dark sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parking lot have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room. As with all things, dark suckers don’t last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full dark sucker. A candle is a primitive dark sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You will notice that, after the first use, the wick turns black - representing all the dark which has been sucked into it. If you hold a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, the tip will turn black because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle.
Dark has mass. When dark goes into a dark sucker, friction from this mass generates heat. Thus it is not wise to touch an operating dark sucker. Candles present a special hazard because the dark must travel to the wick instead of through glass. This generates a large quantity of heat, which makes it inadvisable to touch an operating candle.
There are portable dark suckers. Since these are smaller units the bulbs cannot handle all of the dark by themselves, and require the use of additional dark storage units. When the dark storage unit, referred to by some as a battery, is full it must either be emptied or replaced before the portable dark sucker can operate again.
Huge dark suckers, such as a star create an enormous amount of heat as the dark is sucked into the stars core. Unfortunately, stars just like all other dark suckers do not last indefinitely. When a star has sucked all the dark it can many different things happen. Many times the star slowly sucks less and less dark until finally only the core of dark (developed from many eons of sucking) is all that is left. This massive amount of dark is more than the star can handle and the weight will cause the star to implode and become a 'black hole' (dark emitter)."
Dark is heavier than light. If you swim deeper and deeper, you notice that it slowly gets darker and darker. When you reach a depth of approximately 80 meters, you are in total darkness. This occurs because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the water and the lighter light floats to the top. The immense power of dark can be utilized to humankind’s advantage. Dark which has settled to the bottoms of lakes can be pushed through turbines to generate electricity. In this way, dark can be forced into the oceans where it can be safely stored.
Dark is faster than light. If you stand in an illuminated room in front of a closed, dark closet, you notice that as you slowly open the closed door light slowly enters the closet. However the dark moves so quickly that you are not able to see the dark leave the closet.
Our sun is a star just like many others throughout the universe. Have you ever seen the Sun spots on the sun? This is where the sun sucked up so much dark in one spot that some of the dark got stuck on the surface. These spots will eventually disappear as the dark is sucked from the surface to the core of the sun.
Shadows are made because of dark's mass. Dark cannot be easily sucked through an object such as a car, tree, person, so the area "shaded" by the object will appear darker because less dark has been removed. When a second dark sucker is introduced at a different angle the dark is quickly sucked away from the shadow because there is not an object in the way.
Sunglasses work on the same basic principle as shadows. Sunglass don't block out light, the just decrease the amount of dark that can be sucked from in front of your eyes. This is why if you look, from the side, at a person with sunglasses on the skin behind the glasses appears darker.
If you remember that dark has nearly infinite mass then it must be assumed that everything must be made at least partially of dark. The reason that your skin turns darker is because the sun is sucking dark through you skin. Some of this dark gets trapped on the surface of your skin making you darker. The friction caused by the dark flowing through your body can cause your skin to heat, and sometimes burn. Hence the longer you're in the sun the more dark that gets stuck in your skin. A problem arises when too much dark is sucked through your skin, damage occurs to the cells. This is damage causes mutation and can eventually lead to skin cancer.
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