90852 (1.8) Student Exemplars
90852 (1.8) Student Exemplars
Sample A: Not Achieved
“If one believes, the rest will believe”
The theme importance of family gave me a good understanding of the four texts that I have chosen. The four texts are Night, life is beautiful, Down to Earth and Blood Diamond. They all show bravery and love which connect to the theme. Those words are a big part of the theme.
The song Down to Earth sung by Justin Bieber has used the theme importance of family many times as the song is about his mum, dad and himself through the last few years. When Justin sang this song, I knew that it was about his family. The line ‘on our way back do to earth’ means a lot when I read it. It made me thing that my parents are the ones who raised me and took care of me which makes me realise that there is nothing that can stop me from doing the same to them. But their parts of life to have bad experiences on our way to become just like your parents. Another idea that came up in the song was the splitting of his parents when he was young. That was also another big idea. As he sang the line ‘then tell me why im in tears’, it made me feel sad but then also worried as it is about crying and it mainly describes how he is feeling. Even though I explain to ides from the song, there is a lot more meaning to it. The connection between the four texts that each involves bravery, it showed me that if you are on a bad situation, bravery is required. Each text also involves the reunite of each family and each text is based on a true story.
In Life is Beautiful the father tries to make the concentration camp fun for his son to protect him from the Nazi’s. He makes what the guard says sound like the game even though we know it is really dangerous. Guido shows he is courageous and fearless when he translates the Nazi guard’s camp rules into silly, funny rules of the game for his son, because if he was found out he would have been killed. “If you are hungry you cannot ask for bread and jam because I have eaten it all, it was delicious.” (by adding an explanation and supporting evidence including below makes this a low achieved)
In Night the father and son don’t get on well, but when they go to the concentration camp the father takes care of him. The father gives him his food which means he could die like in Blood Diamond where the father risks his life to get his son back to the family.
(by adding an explanation and supporting evidence - the blue and the pink - makes this a low achieved)
In Blood Diamond the father risks his life to get his son back to his family. ‘Blood Diamonds’ is about how the rebels treat people in order to get diamonds and trade it for guns, this story tells us how this one man has to fight for his family to get them back. The rebels took over the village and shot people. They cut their arms off if they didn’t get the right answer. (Adding this makes it a high not achieved)
The quote that I used at the start explains most of the information that I have used. The quote supports the text that I have chosen and it has a strong meaning to it. I discovered that the theme is one big part in everyday life and that your family is involved in everything.
Sample A: Not Achieved
To achieve this standard significant connection(s) across texts must be explained using supporting evidence.
The standard asks the student to refer to at least four texts, then identify and explain one or more ideas about significant connections across these texts.
The student has referred to four texts and identified a thematic connection within the four texts of the ‘ importance of family, bravery and love’ in the introduction.
The student does explain connections about the importance of family in ‘Down to Earth’. Connections are identified in the other three texts, but are not sufficiently explained. Supporting evidence is not given for Blood Diamond.
Additional explanation and evidence for Blood Diamond in blue takes this sample to a high not achieved.
Additional explanation and evidence for Night and Life is Beautiful in pink takes this sample to a low achieved. This means that the student just meets the requirement to explain significant connections across texts using supporting evidence.
Sample B: High Not Achieved
Theme: Inhumanity to Man
This theme that I am writing about is quite an interesting theme because many people have at least gone through some sort of pain; nobody has lived a perfectly normal life here on planet Earth. There are many texts linking to this theme for example ‘Night’, ‘Life is Beautiful’, ‘Blood Diamond’ and ‘Boy in Striped Pyjamas’. I am going to write about some of the themes that are linked between these four texts.
The text ‘Night’ is a very touching story based on what Elie went through as a child and how he survived the Germans to tell his tale after many years of suffering. He tells us how they were treated during the long period of time they spent working dawn till dusk and how they would sometimes go to bed without any food. The Germans were cruel, harsh and every word you could think of. The same happens in ‘Life is Beautiful’, fighting for survival but there is no use fighting because they do not know if they will be able to live to see the next day. During the liberation of the camp Guido is shot by a Nazi guard.
‘Blood Diamonds’ is about how the rebels treat people in order to get diamonds and trade it for guns, this story tells us how this one man has to fight for his family to get them back. The rebels took over the village and shot people. They cut their arms off if they didn’t get the right answer. How the rebels treat other people are also similar to how the Germans treated the Jews in ‘The Boy in Striped Pyjamas’, their fight for survival is very hard compared to how they live to see the next day. This is similar to the book ‘Night’ because both stories are based on the Germans and World War Two. How they were treated is nothing you can imagine, they are put into barracks which they cannot even sleep in, punished for every little thing that they do wrong, they are starved to death and also very early mornings and very late nights, they are also touched in very cruel ways!
The four texts are all very similar, if you compare them together you will see how the victims were treated in the holocaust, three of which are from the same holocaust, ‘Night’, ‘Life is Beautiful’, and ‘The Boy in Striped Pyjamas’. However ‘Blood Diamond’ is based on the diamond mines of Africa.
Sample B: High Not Achieved - (it is not complying with the evidence required)
To achieve this standard significant connection(s) across texts must be explained using supporting evidence.
The standard asks the student to refer to at least four texts, then identify and explain one or more ideas about significant connections across these texts.
The student has referred to four texts and identified a thematic connection within the four texts of: ‘Inhumanity to man’.
The student explains ideas just sufficiently about the connections of ‘Inhumanity to man’ between the four texts using evidence for three of the four texts although limited to support the thematic connection of ‘Inhumanity to man’. For example:
(Explanation)
· Elie went through as a child and how he survived the Germans to tell his tale after many years of suffering. He tells us how they were treated during the long period of time…. The Germans were cruel, harsh and every word you could think of.
· The same happens in ‘Life is Beautiful’, fighting for survival but there is no use fighting because they do not know if they will be able to live to see the next day.
· ‘Blood Diamonds’ this story tells us how this one man has to fight for his family to get them back. The rebels took over the village and shot people.
· Boy in Striped Pyjamas’, their fight for survival is very hard compared to how they live to see the next day.
(Evidence)
· they spent working dawn till dusk and how they would sometimes go to bed without any food.
· During the liberation of the camp Guido is shot by a Nazi guard.
· They cut their arms off if they didn’t get the right answer.
· they are put into barracks which they cannot even sleep in, punished for every little thing that they do wrong, they are starved to death and also very early mornings and very late nights, they are also touched in very cruel ways!
To meet Achievement the student would need to include evidence for Life is Beautiful see pink.
Sample C: High Not Achieved - (but with inclusion of evidence for Oliver Twist it becomes a High Achieved
Everyone has some type of courage, courage that can sometimes help you to survive. I have realized throughout all four texts ‘Romeo and Juliet’, ‘Night’, ‘Life is Beautiful’ and ‘Oliver Twist’ they have all given examples of courageous actions towards loved ones to help them survive.
All of the texts show how people have to rise up above everyone and fight for survival, and also to overcome their fears. In the novel ‘Oliver Twist’, Charles Dickens has tried to set an image in your head about the hard times in old England and also exploring the views of all the “dangerous” un-wealthy people who are trying to survive by using courage and determination. Nancy sacrifices her own life to protect Oliver. She is beaten to death by Sykes because she tries to protect Oliver by revealing the truth about Oliver’s past to put him in the hands of his family. She is brave because she knows it will anger Sykes if he finds out what she has done, that’s why she tries not to mention his name to survive. (explanation and evidence integrated) However it made me think about courageousness, it is about being fearless and brave so that you can stand up for what you believe in as well as standing up for peoples rights. (Convincing – moving towards Merit – internalising understandings about the connection)
A similar idea was expressed in the movie ‘Life is Beautiful’. Although the main character Guido didn’t rise-up against the Nazi’s in the way we would expect, he was able to stop the Nazi’s from destroying his son’s childhood by making up a story that the concentration camp was all just a big game. Everyone was playing a part and the grand prize was a real life tank. By doing this he rose up against them by outwitting them. Guido shows he is courageous and fearless when he translates the Nazi guard’s camp rules into silly, funny rules of the game for his son, because if he was found out he would have been killed. “If you are hungry you cannot ask for bread and jam because I have eaten it all, it was delicious.”
It’s interesting to see that a similar idea is shown in ‘Night’ by Elie Wiesel. This memoir is also situated in a holocaust setting where the narrator Elie is taken to concentration camps in Czechoslovakia and Germany at the age of fourteen. Upon first arriving at Birkenau, Elie was separated from his mother and sister. So throughout the camps he was attached to his father. Elie had a hard life living in the holocaust, most people did, everyone either got sick or injured from working to hard but most people just got hung or shot on the spot in front of everyone including their family, but this shows that some people need courage to try and stay alive. (weak explanation and evidence - just sufficient to comply with the requirements of Achievement – some unevenness is acceptable)
Having courage to stay alive doesn’t necessarily mean that you must stay alive because you have courage; it means that you should fight to stay alive with your loved ones like in ‘Romeo and Juliet’. Romeo and Juliet fall for each other and become madly in love. Because of their love they will do anything just to stay together. Juliet takes some poison to look dead so that she doesn’t have to marry Parris.This shows determination and willingness for a loved one just like Guido for his son.
Throughout all of these texts, ‘Oliver Twist’, ‘Night’, ‘Life is Beautiful’ and ‘Romeo and Juliet’ they have shown courage, determination, and bravery to survive.
Sample C: High Not Achieved - (but with inclusion of evidence for Oliver Twist it becomes a High Achieved
To achieve this standard significant connection(s) across texts must be explained using supporting evidence.
The standard asks the student to refer to at least four texts, then identify and explain one or more ideas about significant connections across these texts.
The student has referred to four texts and identified thematic connections within the four texts of ‘courage to survive and courageous actions towards loved ones to help them survive’.
The student explains ideas which show convincing understandings about the connections of courageous actions towards loved ones to survive’ in ‘Life is Beautiful’. Further explanation and specific evidence, is needed in the remaining texts to meet the convincing element for Merit (see EN5).
Sample D: High Achieved – (With the inclusion of the developed explanation and evidence for Ka Kite Bro in pink this takes the sample into the convincing requirement for low Merit
The decisions you make determines the story of your life. In these different texts Juno, Ka Kite Bro, Romeo and Juliet and The Wrong Boy characters had to make different kinds of decisions. Some of which were to change their lives, to do what they want to do or to do what they think is right.
The film Juno is about a teenage girl who becomes pregnant. Pregnancy is a big thing in a female’s life, especially if it’s to a teenage girl who is definitely not prepared or in the right place to have a child. Juno is then overcome with the problem about what to do with the child. She decides to go with the idea of giving the child up for adoption she knew this was the best plan. If she had the child she knew there was now way she could take care of it and her life would’ve been limited.