5.The best way to change a clientÕs behavior is to first change his or her attitude. (Disagree)
While this approach has some validity and represents the majority opinion, it is less effective than its alternative: to change the behavior when you attack other peopleÕs attitudes telling them that they should feel other than the way they are feeling, you are assuming either that they do not have the right to feel the way they do, or that something is wrong with them for taking this position. This approach has a much higher probability of creating defensiveness and withdrawal than bringing forth a more appropriate behavior.
A better approach is to facilitate a change in specific behavior, and let that, in turn, produce a subsequent change in attitude. For example, suppose one of the problems that a client is having is listening to her direct reports.
Attitude:ÒYou should appreciate what your direct reports have to say. You have to be more supportive.Ó
Behavior:ÒMaintain good eye contact when a direct report is speaking to you and take a three-count before you respond.Ó
Which response do you think has the higher probability of producing the desired outcome?
6.It is important to understand why difficult clients are the way they are. (Disagree)
Getting into other peopleÕs motivation is almost always a big mistake. It doesnÕt matter why somebody wants something; all that matters is what they want, how available it is, and how they are presently stopping themselves from acquiring it. When you start to explore why somebody wants whatever it is, you are forcing the person to justify that want. This implies that there are good and bad reasons for wanting things. You set yourself up as judge and your client as defendant. Not a good working relationship, particularly when clients continue to want what they want anyway.
7.The stronger you are, the weaker the client will be. (Disagree)
Herman and Korenich (1977) originated the ÒMyth of Omnipotence,Ó which suggests that managers can see themselves as being so powerful that any statement of disapproval of the direct reportÕs behavior would be experienced as devastating. Once in place, this myth gives rise to ÒOgre Building,Ó which holds that because the manager is tip-toeing around, treading ever so lightly, the only conclusion direct reports can come to is that the manager really is that awesomely powerful and that they had better keep a very low profile lest they be destroyed. This dual myth creates a slow downward spiral and a self-fulfilling prophesy. Some consultants can easily fall prey to the same myth. They feel that their opinion, if stated clearly, will unduly influence the clientsÕ thinking, and therefore they should focus only on the process.
The reality is that strength breeds strength. By being direct in your opinions, perceptions, and judgments, the assumption is that the client is strong enough to welcome corrective feedback or differing opinions when appropriate. This is respectful of the client and sets the stage for a stronger and more supportive working relationship. If there is any doubt about what the client prefers, you can always check it out with the client before the consultation actually begins.
As a case in point, some years back I was competing for a team-building contract with a former client. I was the last consultant to be interviewed. I walked into the room, smiled, shook hands. The client asked, ÒHank, if I ask for your opinion, will you give it to me?Ó I said, ÒOf course,Ó and he said, ÒYouÕve got the contract.Ó My four colleagues had each refused this role, for fear of being unduly influential.