12th Sun. Yr B: Father’s Day
“The Lord is the strength of His people.” This is the opening line of our entrance antiphon for Mass for this Sunday. I think it’s a fitting phrase to contemplate on this Sunday on which we honor fathers and celebrate Father’s Day; for God the Father gives us strength by sending us His Son who died for our sins to redeem us, and by sending the Holy Spirit with His gifts and graces.
God the Father is the archetype or model for all human fatherhood. St. Paul makes this clear in Ephesians when he says: “I bend my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom all fatherhood in heaven and on earth receives its name” (3:14-15). Here we learn that the idea of God as Father is not derived from human fatherhood; rather, it’s just the opposite: the notion of an earthly father is derived from the Fatherhood of God.
Jesus reveals to us the Fatherhood of God: He, the Divine Son, calls God His Father; and He tells us to address God as our Father, for we become His adopted children through faith and Baptism when we are born again in water and Spirit.
Back on February 4, Pope Francis gave a talk on the figure of the father in the family. He said, “Every family needs a father.” How true! Every family needs the strength and support that only a father can give.
I just read an article by a Christian who heads an organization that does prison ministry among men. He made the point that the United States has the highest rate of incarceration in the world, and he estimates that about 80 to 90% of the men he deals with either did not know their fathers or wish they had not.
He says: “When a boy grows up in a vacuum like that, not knowing his father or wishing he didn’t know his father, he will feel alienated, lonely, insignificant; there will be a hole in his soul. He will be angry and scared.”
Yes, boys and young men need fathers to teach them about true manhood, true masculinity; to provide guidance and discipline; and, most importantly, to love them with a love only a father can give.
I am so thankful for the discipline and love given to me by my father. First, discipline: I was a teenager in the early 1970’s, and my father kept me on the straight and narrow path. I was not afraid of the police – all they could do was arrest me; I feared more what my father would do to me if the police brought me home!
But I am most thankful for the love my father gave to me and my brothers.
Of course, similar things can be said girls and young women: they need a father to love them, to care for and guide them, and to provide a model of what true a man and a husband should be like.
In his talk on fathers, Pope Francis quoted from Proverbs, in which a father speaks to his son in these words: “My son, if your heart is wise, my heart too will be glad. My soul will rejoice when your lips speak what is right” (23:15-16).
Pope Francis said this Scripture verse reveals that a father should try to transmit to his son “what truly counts in life, namely, a wise heart.”
In his talk, the Pope went on to speak as a father might talk to his son: “My son, I gave you a witness of rigor and firmness, which perhaps you did not understand. I had to watch over excesses of sentiment and resentment, of inevitable misunderstandings, and find the right words to make myself understood.”
Fathers are well aware, said the Pope, of the difficulties and challenges of being a good father; of being firm but gentle with their children; and that fathers themselves must acknowledge the need to have a wise heart.
Pope Francis stressed that in order to fulfill their important role, to live out their beautiful vocation as fathers, “the first thing necessary is that the father be present in the family; that he love his wife and share everything with her – joys and sorrows, efforts and hopes, and that he be close to his children – when they play, when they are busy, when they are anguished or afraid, or take a wrong step and when they try to find the way again.”
I think we all can recall those times as children when our father did things with us. I can remember flying a kite with my father, how he taught me and my brothers to skip rocks on Lake Michigan, the times he would play games of football and baseball with us. Those times with my Dad are ingrained in my memory.
In his talk Pope Francis said that “a father is present, always!” But he stressed that “to be present is not the same as to be controlling, because fathers who are too controlling can override their children, they do not let them grow.” Hence, a father must have himself a wise and discerning heart – something for which he can pray.
In his “Love One Another” reflection back on June 9, Archbishop Listecki offered his thoughts on what makes a good father. Echoing Pope Francis, he said that fathers who make the greatest impact on their children are those fathers who are “there” for them. He said: “The presence of a father and the male image in the home is most significant. . . what size, shape, level of intelligence or social standing” doesn’t matter. “He is ‘there.’ His presence makes a difference.”
Steve Wood, a convert to Catholicism, has an apostolate to families that focuses especially on fathers and fatherhood. On Father’s Day a couple of years ago I passed out to all fathers with children his wonderful book: Legacy: A Father’s Handbook for Raising Godly Children.
In it he says: “Why go to the gym after work if you have little ones waiting to see you at home? For less than an annual gym membership, you can purchase weights and a nice workout machine for a corner of your garage. I guarantee your little ones will want to spend some time with you during your workouts.
“Take your children with you on Saturday trips to the hardware store and on your other errands. I’ve had some of the best conversations with my younger children while in the van doing Saturday errands.” (p. 28)
Yes, the presence of a father in the home, loving his wife and his children, makes a difference; and it gives strength to all in the family. This is true, above all, in passing on the faith: the father’s example of religious practice is critically important.
Steve Wood insists: “The cure for massive church dropout [by children] is Dad”; and he cites a survey which shows that if a father does not go to church, no matter how faithful his wife may be, only one child in fifty will become a regular worshiper. Yet, if a father goes to church regularly, “between two-thirds and three-quarters of their children will become churchgoers (regular or irregular).” (p. 127)
I’m so thankful that my father set an example, and with my mother led the family to Mass every week, and to the Sacrament of Confession once a month.
Let us pray, on this Father’s Day, that God the Father will give strength to all fathers, in order that they may exercise their spiritual and moral headship in the home and in the family. Let us pray also to St. Joseph – the head of the Holy Family and Patron Saint of husbands and fathers – that he may be a guide and inspiration to all fathers in order that they, in turn, may be models of authentic manhood, models of holiness for their children, and form them in the faith, and in the love of God and neighbor. Finally, on this Father’s Day let us pray for all men, married or unmarried, knowing that as all women are called to motherhood – if not in the flesh, then to be spiritual mothers, likewise all men have a vocation to fatherhood, physical or spiritual; that they may be living icons of God the Father and His love.
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