1. QUOTES, ACTIVE VOICE, AND LITERARY ASPECTS:
NO “PLOPPING” QUOTES, AVOID PASSIVE VOICE, AND DECREASE WORDINESS:
Example:
Weaponry magically appears, as if someone had lead it there for Beowulf to use purposefully. “Then he saw, hanging on the wall, a heavy/Sword, hammered by giants, strong/and blessed with their magic, the best of all weapons”(1557-1559). This quotation from Beowulf is used to prove that Beowulf is protected by God and will win his battle against Grendel’s mother in the epic.
INTRODUCE THE QUOTE, ACTIVE VOICE, AND LITERARY ASPECT:
As Beowulf stalks the lair in search of a useful weapon for his fight against Grendel’s mother, weaponry magically appears as “…he saw, hanging on the wall, a heavy/Sword, hammered by giants, strong/ and blessed with their magic”(1557-1559). The image of a heavy, blessed sword implies Beowulf’s God-like protection and foreshadows that he will in fact conquer his formidable opponent.
2. USE A VARIETY OF SENTENCE OPENERS TO ADD VARIETY TO YOUR WRITING; USE LITERARY PRESENT:
Example:
NO
Grendel ‘s mother was filled with rage and comes to Herot to seek revenge on the people who hurt her son.
YES
Filled with rage, Grendel’s mother approaches Herot seeking revenge. (appositive phrase)
NO
The second battle was provoked by Grendel’s mother. She was seeking revenge for her son’s death.
YES
Seeking revenge, Grendel’s mother provokes Beowulf.
3. TOPIC SENTENCES SHOULD INTRODUCE IDEAS, NOT EXAMPLES:
NO:
When a beast was terrorizing the great town of Herot, Beowulf came to the rescue. As a result, he was rewarded by Hrothgar. (no idea expressed)
YES:
Beowulf’s courage in the first battle earns much treasure and reveals the strong connection between physical strength and respect in the Anglo-Saxon culture.
NO:
Good versus evil is seen in the first battle in the epic.
YES:
Good versus evil suggests the importance of physical strength in Beowulf’s first battle.
4. THESIS STATEMENT SHOULD ‘REVEAL’ SOMETHING:
NO:
Good versus evil is evident in Beowulf’s battle with Grendel, Grendel’s mother, and the dragon. (This is a preview statement)
YES:
Good versus evil, evident in Beowulf’s battles, suggests the importance of physical strength, protection by God, and fate in the Anglo-Saxon culture.
NO:
Bravery is evident in Beowulf’s battle with Grendel, Grendel’s mother, and the dragon.
YES:
Beowulf’s battles suggest the necessity of bravery for the Anglo-Saxon hero.
NO:
Loyalty is seen in Beowulf’s relationship with Hrothgar, Hygelac, and his own men.
YES:
Beowulf’s interactions with Hrothgar, Hygelac, and his own followers suggest that loyalty is mutually beneficial.
OR
Beowulf’s interactions with Hrothgar, Hygelac, and his own followers suggest that loyalty is part of a reciprocal relationship.