1) I would try to not describe Buffalo medical school in such negative terms.
2) I would get rid of statements ending with exclamation points
3) I would explain more why you find psychiatry interesting. What exactly was it about those kids whom you worked with?
4) just stay positive
But again it was a very well thought out and touching personal statement.
His door was always open. No one was turned away. No payment was ever accepted. An amazing number of local people with a variety of diseases and life problems came to my paternal grandpa, an herbalist, for healing and advice.Inspired by his selflessness, his diligence, his wealth of knowledge and experience and his healing abilities, I decided that I, too, wanted to be able to heal and advise people as my grandpa did. I aspired to become a medical doctor.
At that moment, I adopted the motto, “Aut viam inveniam aut faciam,’’ meaning, “I will either find a way, or make one.” Since Hannibal said this before crossing the Alps.” It just fit! The aim was high and the path was somewhat unforeseeable. Yet, I knew I had to tread the path.
In retrospect, I realize my journey toward becoming a physician has been much like crossing the Alps. Plagued by adversities and uncertainties, including homelessness, losing close friends and family members to horrible diseases ,and my dismissal from SUNY Buffalo Medical School for falling just below the required grade (0.9 below the required) in my family medicine clerkship, I learned from every setback and emerged triumphant. Celebrating the victories and accomplishments from my first scholarship to attend a science high school to becoming the first in my family for many generations to graduate high school, college and now medical school, adaptability, diligence, and tenacity have most certainly served me well. They helped me remember the reasons why I pursued this path and goals. I just wanted to be the best I could be.
It led me to a foreign land far away from home. Entering the U.S. from Nigeria at age eighteen, I completed the additional high school requirements to pursuit a U.S. college education. As a college student completing the rigorous science requirements for a dual major in Biology and Chemistry, I juggled full-time employment and research opportunities.
After graduation, I worked as an assistant instructor for autistic children at the Developmental Disability Institute in Smithtown, New York. At first, the psychopathology of these children was overwhelming and discouraging. In fact, I had to remind myself why I took the position and what I hoped to ultimately achieve. Then something changed, I became intrigued with the patients’ thought processes and fascinated by the changes I observed as a result of medication and therapy. The synthesis of these events and fascination merely reaffirmed my interest in the medical profession and elucidated how the medical profession simultaneously offered me an intellectually enriching environment while allowing me to help people face to face.
In fall of 2006, I was accepted to UB Medical School. Dismissed in 2008 due to below passing grade for my family medical clerkship, I was completely devastated. At the time, I lost six family members in Nigeria due to motor vehicle accident and my parents’ were going through divorce, I believe this could have been averted. Nevertheless, I could not give up!
I immediately applied to many medical schools for transfer; after a year I was accepted in American University of Antigua School of Medicine. I seized the opportunity. I began my clinical rotations with an open mind. As I progressed through my clerkships I realized the most interesting patients I encountered were those with psychiatric conditions. I read widely, sought out information from residents and attending, and was eager to learn more. When I finally did my Psychiatry clerkships in May 2012 at Sheppard Pratt, Maryland, I knew that this was the medical specialty for me. It built upon my previous experience with psychopathology and autistic children. It enticed me to learn about every aspect of the pathology and treatment. Much more than this, I found reducing the mental distress in patients gratifying. It reminded me of my inspiration, my paternal grandpa and his ability to heal, to treat the whole person, and the reason I traversed the Alps in my life to become a doctor. Here, I could identify with my patient, during interview these adolescences, I could see immediate change when I help them realized available coping skills that would help them feel better, enjoy their lives and be productive. I love the smile on their faces when they realized their potential and how power to change their. Much more than this, I found reducing the mental distress in patients gratifying. It reminded me of my inspiration, my paternal grandpa and his ability to heal, to treat the whole person, and the reason I traversed the Alps in my life to become a doctor.
While enrolled at the American University of Antigua School of Medicine and completing my externships and residency, I am concurrently enrolled in the Masters of Public health program at Walden University. Dedicated to the health of the people and medicine, my MD/MPH degree will allow me to pursuit even greater opportunities to extend health and healing through fellowships or academia. However, I truly envision myself in the practice of General Psychiatry. For this reason, I plan to take my senior elective clerkships in Psychiatry and Neuropsychiatry. I feel it is a discipline that will continue to interest me throughout my career.Its practice inspires me to learn as much as possible about the human mind and become as effective as possible in the mitigation and/or alleviation of mental suffering.