Writing Assignment 4
Writing Assignment 4
Write one, two, or three subscription-renewal letters (the total word count of the project is to be at least 200). Carefully tailor the letters to appeal to the readers of the magazines you are supposedly representing. Here are some samples from the pages of Mad Magazine (reprinted with permission of the publisher). You may approach this project satirically or soberly. All of my examples below are satirical.
Below are three samples from a 1539 class:
Dear Fool,Are you regaining your sanity? The idiots of the Subscription Dept. tell me that you have not yet renewed your subscription to Mad. What happened to that crazy guy who would do anything short of self-inflicted diarrhea for a few good laughs? Surely you're not going to be normal and buy regular magazines like Reader's Digest, Better Homes and Gardens, and The Ohio Jersey Journal! Get on the ball and off your rocker! Be one of us, not one of "them"!
"Idiotically" yours,
Bernard Feeble, Head Moron
Dear Kid,
Our records show that your Puritanical parents have not renewed their subscription to National Geographic. It's your fault and you're only depriving yourself. There is not a druggist in the world who would sell you a copy of Hustler, and National Geographic is the next best thing. For example, our upcoming April issue contains an article (with photo section) about the fertility dance of the aborigine tribes of the Congo. This article is accompanied by startling photos of the dance performed simultaneously by 113 women in various stages of unclothing. Subscribe now and be the favorite kid in the neighborhood.
Waiting impatiently,
Dr. Livingston
Dear Head,
We realize that this letter may be a real bummer and might just mess up your high all to hell, but, man, your subscription to High Times is running out. If you miss out on knowing what the narcs are up to and on knowing where to get some great smoke, it would be a real bummer. So get your ass in gear, sell a bag or a little bit of your blow, and send us $10.00 like now. Don't forget: if you renew now you get a free High Times roach clip.
Your smoking buddy,
Billy T. Bong, Acid Dropping Editor