John Fritz

Queer Foundation

Where Is Your Happy Place?

Despite my mother and father giving me unequivocal love and support, they could still only do so much to give me a safe and accepting environment to which I would feel so content. I realized why this protection was not guaranteed in eighth grade when I first came out as a gay man.I never got thatGleemoment where the father reassures Kurt Hummel that he knew of Kurt's sexuality since Kurt was three. Instead, I was given anod and a matter-of-fact warning that it only took an effeminate flip of the wrist to trigger public enmity. My warning became reality when two high school seniors cornered my ninth grade self in the school gym. These boys didn't hold back their hatred against the track team, which apparently had too many gay guys like me. The catholic schoolboys preached to me exactly what they wanted to do to the team, tantamount to the chaos in a traditional Jackson Pollock painting.My hostility didn't stop when I left school; I felt little difference with students compared to my uncle sharing his hermaphrodite jokes or my grandfather telling my father how he wanted to, "personally round up all the homosexuals, shoot them and leave them to burn in a fiery pit in Hell."I started to realize there was no 'safe space' for me. If I went to the bathroom, I was given stares as if Justin Bieber asked Compton residents to prove his 'street-cred'. When I was alone, I couldn't go online without hearing about where Westboro Baptist Church was picketing next, or how apparently every gay male alive acted exactly like RuPaul. I never felt the strength to overcome such animosity until a fellow ninth grader confronted me,in the middle of class with several eyes watching, regarding whether or not I was a child molester.At that moment, I discovered my 'happy place'. My happy place was not a place, but an action. I enjoyedmakinga refuge, not just living in one. Rather than punching the kid's face ruthlessly, I replied that I was not a pedophile and I was in fact just another boring gay boy. With that response, the same person who nearly threatened my dignity in front of my class asked me if tuna was being served in lunch that day.This 14 year old is one of several people I have faced over the years in creating my 'happy place'. My favorite memory with my relatives was explaining to my 86 year old great-aunt what being transgender was, and her responding how her cousin, Vincent, was originally named Norma. Out of my newfound 'place' of content, I now strive to create a true 'place' for people like me. I wanted and did testify in front of the Idaho House of Representatives for a change in the Idaho Human Rights Act. I wanted and did ignore the potential fines to post sticky notes in favor of Adding the Words ‘sexual orientation’ and ‘gender identity’ to further voice the concerns of my peers as well as my own and posted them all over the State Senate's doors. Finally I wanted and did help others like me, from my Presidency in my high school Gay-Straight Alliance to my state leadership roles in Idaho Safe Schools Coalition, find a place of refuge I was never given until I worked for one.

I'm glad to move other peoples' lives as well as my own for the better. In my "Add the Words" protest, I was featured on State Representative Matt Erpelding's Facebook page and on the cover of Boise High's Alumni Newsletter. I was astounded by the positive comments I received on both sources whether involving being proud of my actions, or how the school and politicians, two sources I once felt distrust from, were on my side. I don't just talk but fight for my rights and the rights of others, and higher education is my next step for my actions in generating equal rights for all.