CHRISTMAS JOKES

What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman?

Have an ice day!

What do you call a gigantic polar bear?

Nothing, you just run away!

A Christmas thought:
STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward.

What comes at the end of Christmas Day?
The letter "Y"!

What did the big candle say to the little candle ?
I'm going out tonight !

Father Christmas lost his umbrella but he didn't get wet! Why not?
Because it wasn't raining!

What do monkeys sing at Christmas ?
Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.. !

What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree ?
A pineapple !

Where do mistletoe go to become famous?
"Holly" wood!

What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he looked out the window?
Looks like "rain", "Dear"!

What's red and green and flies?

An airsick Santa Claus!


A group of mountain climbers once heard Father Christmas go past.
They must have had sharp ears!
They were mountain-ears!

An honest politician, a kind lawyer and Santa Claus were walking down the street and saw a $20 bill. Which one picked it up?
Santa! The other two don't exist!

How does Santa take his photos?
With his North Pole-aroid!

What do the reindeer sing to Father Christmas on his birthday ?
Freeze a jolly good fellow !

What do you call a man who claps at Christmas ?
Santapplause !

What do you call people who are scared of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic!

What do you call Santa when he has no money?
Saint "Nickel"-less!

What do you call someone who doesn't believe in Father Christmas?
A rebel without a Claus!

What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish!

What's fat and jolly and runs on eight wheels?
Father Christmas on roller skates!

What's Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents?
Santa pause !

What's red & white and red & white and red & white?
Santa rolling down a hill!

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas ?
Santa Jaws !

Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Holly
Holly who ?
Holly-days are here again !

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Police!
Police who?
Police don't make me eat brussel sprouts this year!

Twinkle Twinkle chocolate bar
Santa drives a rusty car
Press the starter
Press the choke
Off he goes in a cloud of smoke !