Bereavement Kit
for Hobsons Bay residents
23
© Produced by Hobsons Bay City Council
Contents
BEREAVEMENT INFORMATION AND ADVICE 3
FUNERAL INFORMATION AND ADVICE 7
PERSONAL INFORMATION 14
CONTACT LIST 20
CHECKLIST 22
BEREAVEMENT KIT
About this kitThis bereavement kit aims to encourage you and your family to keep all of your
personal papers up-to-date and in a safe place known to family and friends.
If there is a death in your family, we hope that the existence of this kit will help as a
guide to the necessary formalities. Completion now of the personal information
portfolio contained in this kit should ensure that all relevant information is available at
the time it is needed.
The kit also includes the names of the people or organisations that may be able to help at this difficult time – people that understand grief and are able to offer practical advice.
This kit contains• A checklist of papers which should be in order and kept in a safe place
• Some information about the kinds of feelings people experience when they lose someone close to them
• Advice on what to do when death occurs
• Facts about funerals
• A checklist of who to notify in the event of death
• An explanation about the kind of help you can get from Federal, and State
Government Departments and other agencies
• A form for you to fill in, which records the kinds of personal details that relatives or friends will need to know
Information and Advice
When people lose someone very close to them, or with whom they have shared a
lifetime, it is often hard to believe that it has really happened. The experience of grief
which follows is the normal reaction to such a loss. It is usually painful and distressing and may take several years to resolve completely, but in itself it is not a problem that needs professional treatment. However, it has the potential to become a quite serious problem if it is not managed effectively.
While people normally vary in their experiences of grief, the stages or components of
the grief process are common to all who have suffered personal loss. Some knowledge of the process can help build a sense of security, as there is often a feeling of being alone and that there will be no end to the feeling of loss.
A common first reaction is shock and denial, this is marked by dazed feelings of
unreality, numbness and for some people, periods of heightened activity. Often a lot of time is spent thinking about the deceased, concentrating on the good memories and as a result, increasing the sense of loss.
A more difficult stage in the grief process follows, during which people may suffer from apathy, withdrawal, anger, despair, guilt as well as other difficulties. These distressing feelings and problems fade as a bereaved person moves into a final stage of grieving as they find new ways of thinking about themselves, developing new roles, relationships and a new sense of purpose. It is important to remember that grief is painful, often long lasting and experienced differently by each individual and above all, is perfectly normal.
Initially there are often many people around who can offer support, but as they disperse and get back to their own busy lives, there may be a long time of loneliness and gradual readjustment. During this time, it is better not to make important or hasty decisions. It is very important that the grieving person has someone with whom to share their memories and yearning. With the right support, one can soon reach a state of equilibrium.
There are support groups which exist to help grieving people.
Further information on the personal support which is available for those in grief can be provided by contacting Griefline on (03) 9596 7799 (website:www.griefline.org.au) between the hours of 12.00pm and 3.00am.
What action is needed immediately after a death?In a medical emergency, call an ambulance. If death occurs at home, a doctor, preferably the deceased person’s own doctor, must be contacted. Once a doctor has attended, if you wish, you can call family or friends to allow them to visit to say their final farewell. In certain religious faiths, it is important for the person to be bathed, and dressed in chosen attire, this may be done if deemed appropriate.
Police are advised only if the death was due to an accident, occurred in unusual circumstances, or if the doctor is unable to establish the cause of death.
Information and Advice
Where applicable, advise the family faith leader. Often they will be a family friend.
They will be familiar with death and burial procedures and can be of great practical
assistance on such matters as selection of a funeral director, quite apart from their
involvement in the funeral itself.
If you haven’t already, advise family, friends, relatives and the executor of the will (if there is one). When you are ready, call your chosen funeral director who will arrange to come and take the person back to the funeral home. They will also arrange a time to meet with you so that suitable arrangements can be made.
If you are unsure of what to do, contact one of the following, who may be able to help:
• Centrelink
• Places of worship (eg. Church, Mosque or Temple)
• Employer
• Hospital social worker or welfare staff
• Department of Veterans’ Affairs
• Ex-Service organisations or
• Community Health Centre
Perhaps most importantly, don’t be afraid to be guided by your own common-sense
and judgement; and don’t add to your distress by trying too hard to follow wishes of
other members of the family (or, even of the deceased) which may not be practicable. A funeral is an emotional time. Don’t be surprised if extreme feelings are aroused within yourself and other family members – they will soon be forgotten. Meanwhile, while it is never easy, you have the job of making the necessary arrangements. Try to be satisfied with making the best of that job as you reasonably can.
Death CertificatesA funeral will not take place until a Death Certificate has been issued.
If the person died at home his/her doctor will issue a Death Certificate unless death
was due to an accident or occurred in unusual circumstances, or the doctor cannot
determine the cause of death. In this case, the doctor will report the death to the
Coroner. An autopsy, or post – mortem examination, may then be required.
If the death occurred in a hospital, a Death Certificate will be completed by the hospital staff when the cause of death has been established.
Information and Advice
A deceased person is taken to the State Coroner’s Office if the death is deemed to be a Reportable Death. A Reportable Death means a death that:
• Appears to have been unexpected, unnatural or violent or that has resulted directly or indirectly from accident or injury
• Occurs while under anaesthetic or as a result of an anaesthetic and is not due to natural causes
• Is of a person whose identity is unknown
• Occurs in Victoria and a doctor has not issued a medical certificate regarding that death
• Occurs in a place outside Victoria and a doctor has not certified the cause of death or
• Occurs in other prescribed circumstances
All Reportable Deaths must be investigated by the State Coroner or another Coroner. The doctor, hospital, police or other institutions will make the necessary arrangements.
A Reportable Death may result in an autopsy being performed. Your funeral director will arrange with the Coronial Service Centre for the transfer of the deceased.
Registration of DeathOne of the most important things that must be taken care of is the Registration of
Death. The appropriate form can be obtained from the Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages or from funeral directors. In most cases registration will be dealt with by the funeral director.
Advising Government DepartmentsIf a deceased person was receiving a pension or benefits through Centrelink or the
Department of Veterans’ Affairs, the relevant department should be notified of the
death promptly and certainly within 14 days. This will avoid overpayments of pension
and ensure that appropriate benefits are received by surviving dependents.
Funeral Information and Advice
Arrangements for the funeral should be commenced as soon after the death as is
conveniently possible. Arrangements are generally carried out by the Executor of the
Will, or alternatively, by the Next-of-Kin. Close friends or neighbours may also be able to assist, however, it is important that the Executor or their formal authorised
representative be the person who signs all relevant cremation and interment forms.
If the deceased has not expressed any wishes about a funeral director, and if you have had no previous experience in selecting one, a faith leader or the family doctor are often in a good position to advise.
If the funeral has been pre-arranged you should contact the funeral director involved
so that they may carry out the arrangements set out on the Pre-Paid Funeral Certificate.
If you have concerns about seeking a funeral director or of the cost involved, the
Australian Funeral Directors Association (AFDA) can provide advice. In Victoria, the
AFDA may be contacted on (03) 9859 9966.
The funeral may prove to be a substantial charge against the estate. If there is no
estate or if it is not a large one, then all funeral arrangements must be made with
special care. It is extremely important to assess before hand exactly how much money can be spent. Don’t be influenced by concern that you’ll be thought mean or lacking in respect when deciding how much to spend on the funeral (see the ‘Facts about Funerals’ section in this kit).
Clearly, it is of benefit if any wishes which individuals may have about their funeral
arrangements are made known before death. Sensible and open discussion of these
matters before death will greatly ease the burden on grieving relatives.
The funeral director’s roleMost funeral directors carry out all procedures necessary for burial or cremation,
including removing the body to their own premises; taking care of all necessary
registrations, permits and paperwork; arranging the time, place and type of service
(but generally, not for a church service); arranging notices and flowers if required; and preparing the body for the funeral. They will also organise everything on the day of the funeral and see that it runs smoothly.
Other mattersThere will be financial and other matters relating to the deceased that will require
attention. Some financial matters must be attended to by the Executor of the
deceased’s Will.
Funeral Information and Advice
When someone dies a funeral director is usually contacted to provide the services
required by the family.
A large and often bewildering number of funeral directors are available for you to choose from. Most funeral directors belong to the AFDA (The Australian Funeral Directors Association), whose membership includes many American owned companies trading under long established names. Membership of a professional association guarantees that the company selected will be able to meet your needs with dignity and respect.
Can a funeral be pre-arranged?Many people choose to arrange their own funeral in advance. Doing so allows personal decisions to be made and the opportunity to record in detail any specific requests and wishes. It also alleviates stress for family and friends at a difficult time. This involves ‘pre-paying’ for the service with a specific funeral director, before it is required.
NOTE: Be aware of the difference between funeral insurance policies and arranging a pre-paid funeral.
What about pre-paid funerals?Arranging a pre-paid funeral provides the following advantages:
• It ‘fixes’ costs at an agreed figure, with no future increases
no matter when death occurs
• It can be beneficial where ‘deeming’ is concerned
• It removes a financial burden from the surviving family
• Money paid is not classed as an asset for tax purposes
The pre-paid funeral plan is established by entering a written contract with your chosen funeral director. The contract will specify exactly the requirements of your service, how much each item costs, and a total cost including any ‘establishment fees’ and/or any ‘administration costs’.
Payment is made for the agreed amount and the money is placed in trust for future use. Copies of all documents are kept by the funeral director. Make sure you receive copies for your records as well as a receipt for any money handed over.
You will need to determine if the cemetery component is included or not. All funeral and cemetery information needs to be kept with the Will for instant reference upon a death.
Funeral Information and Advice
The Funerals (Pre-paid Money) Act 2006 establishes precisely where your money must be placed for future use. The financial institution nominated to hold the funds paid, in trust, requires a ‘Transfer Authority’, signed by you (the applicant) to accompany the application forms necessary to establish the Trust Fund. This enables the financial institution to release the funds held to the funeral director once they are notified that the contract has been completed, that is, that the funeral has taken place.
You must understand that a pre-paid funeral plan is a legal contract and cannot be
ended except in special circumstances, such as failure of the funeral organiser’s
business. If the contract has been ended, the funeral organiser must return your money, less any administrative or brokerage fee paid or any legal interest the organiser holds in the funeral contract.
Consumer Affairs Victoria is the body responsible for ensuring that all funeral directors comply with the Act.
What sort of questions should I ask?Some of the questions you may wish to ask include:
• Is the cost ‘fixed’ at the agreed price regardless of inflation or price increases?