What Do You Do With Unmotivated Kids?
Posted online By Dr. Lawrence Shapiro on July 22, 2010
Underachievement, usually caused by a lack of motivation in children, is a much more common problem than many parents realize, affecting an estimated 25% to 35% of school-age children. Motivational problems are rare in very young children. Early childhood educators try hard to make learning fun, but even when tasks are frustrating, young children seem preprogrammed to keep trying. But this may change around the age of eight. This is when school starts to feel more like work and less like fun, and the expectations of parents and teachers get more serious.
Researchers are not clear exactly why some children are not motivated to succeed in school, while other children have no problem persisting even when faced with the hardest tasks. Some researchers have postulated that there is a gene for motivation, sometimes referred to as a "need to achieve." Other experts point out that the family and cultural expectations have an important influence on motivation. Still others believe gender and socioeconomic factors play a significant role in developing an achievement attitude in kids. Like most aspects of emotional intelligence, motivation likely has strong genetic and environmental foundations.
Underachievement can take several different forms. Some children do poorly in all subject areas-a problem known as pervasive underachievement. Some of these children have learning or emotional problems that make learning difficult, and some children simply say that they just dislike school. Some children only have problems in one or two subjects. They may not like math, or science, or foreign languages.This is known as topical underachievement. Many younger children say that they just don't like reading, and while this may mean that they specifically don't like language arts, obviously a problem with reading will affect almost all subject areas.
Punishing a child for not doing his homework or trying in school rarely works. I've known parents who threaten their children, yell at them, take away privileges, restrict TV or computer game time . . . but while this may have an immediate effect, I have never known these tactics to be long term solutions. More importantly, they foster anger and resentment in a child, exactly the opposite attitude you are looking for when helping unmotivated kids.
Tutoring is a common solution for kids who are underachieving. Companies like Sylvan or Huntington Learning Centers can be very effective in keeping kids on track with their assignments, but they are very expensive and not realistic for the majority of parents. And many parents report that their kids do well when they are tutored, but as soon as the tutoring stops, their children go back to their old habits of avoiding schoolwork.
While tutoring is not often a permanent solution to the problem of underachievement, it can keep a child from falling into a downward cycle of school failure. When professional tutoring services are too expensive, parents should consider getting tutoring from inexpensive or even free sources. Some schools or libraries have free tutoring programs, but even a neighborhood teen or college student might provide some inexpensive tutoring. Aunts or uncles, grandparents . . . all of these can be good tutors or homework coaches. Almost anyone who has the time and interest can provide support to child who needs tutoring . . . excluding parents themselves. I strongly recommend that parents avoid becoming tutors. Parents should encourage their kids to try hard, and oversee their work, but if at all possible they should have someone else provide the tutoring.
Positive point systems can help motivate children and teens, particularly when there is a reward that kids and teens are working for. But these behavioral systems must be done correctly and consistently, which often does not happen. I'll write more about using point systems correctly in my next post.
Teaching better study habits is another common approach to helping unmotivated children. Helping kids and teens organize their materials, manage their time, and plan their assignments can certainly help in taking some of the angst out of getting kids to complete their homework on time, and yet this can take as much time and effort by parents as getting kids to do their work in the first place. There are specialists who can help children learn these "executive functions," but again, this can be an expensive alternative.
As always, I like to explore how technology can help kids with emotional and behavioral problems, and one interesting use of the Internet to help unmotivated kids can be found at www.brainology.us. Founded by Dr. Carol Dwek, who has spent more than two decades researching how to motivate kids, the site teaches middle and high school students to understand the brain and how it works when you learn. Dwek's theory is that when children develop a Growth Mindset, "they believe they can develop their brain, abilities, and talent. This view creates a love for learning, a drive for growth and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishments. On the contrary, people with a Fixed Mindset believe their basic qualities, such as intelligence and abilities are fixed, and can't be developed. They also believe that talent alone creates success, and see effort as a sign of weakness rather than as a positive element of life needed to reach one's full potential."
Dr. Dwek's site, which is available for parents and educators for a fee, takes a curriculum approach to helping children develop a growth mindset. Her research suggests that this approach may succeed where others have failed, but to my knowledge there are no specific studies about the effectiveness of this site. Still, when it comes to helping kids succeed, no stone should be left unturned. Click to see a news clip on Brainology, and explore the site to learn more.