Target Audience: Highschooland
collegestudents
Brief Description: A humorous, satirical website that instructs the viewer on how to justify the vices of procrastination, according to selected character types.
Introduction
(Suggestion: Create the following movements in Flash 5)Multi-colored, hypnotic kaleidoscope screen slowly twists in circular pattern.
Tall, sky-blue Arial text fades in and out, alternating its transparency.
Flash page spiral spins away from viewer, into the center of screen.
Goes to page that shows photo gallery of animated characters to choose from.
(Background changes to sky with floating clouds.)
Row of three photo thumbnails, each half the size of a regular photograph.
Above the photos is the text heading: “We’ll show you how to waste your time and feel good about it.” /
Narration
(Note: the following text stays on the screen until the user clicks an option.)Relaxing background music
“Hey, man. Is your homework piling up? Need to escape a while? Click here when you get around to it.”
Viewer clicks text
1st thumbnail expands to animated image of disheveled woman with bulging eyes sitting with an average looking living room behind her. Underneath image, the caption: “Perfectionist Peggy.”
(All animation resembles the styles of the “Simpsons” TV show)
She begins to speak, twitching and flailing arms occasionally.
She reaches towards the screen to clean an imaginary speck of dust.
Resumes former position
Screen switches to radio button list with a “submit button” at bottom.
(This doesn’t matter because no matter what the user enters, Peggy will tell them to spend hours on their home tasks before beginning their work.)
The list has ridiculous items on it. Examples: washing the baseboards, trimming uneven carpet threads, cleaning fan blades, picking lint out of the broom and so on. /
Viewer clicks on first thumbnail
Peggy“I don’t know about you but I think that it is impossible to do quality work unless your house is absolutely spotless. That way, you don’t have to do it later and you can do your homework, knowing that you can just go to bed afterwards. Also, the clutter REALLY distracts me!
Excuse me for a second…”
”Now, where was I? Oh yes! Cleanliness is of the utmost importance; you CAN’T think if you know that there is an inch of dust on your fan blades!
(Peggy vo)
“Here is a list of necessary things which must be clean at your home before you undertake to write your paper or presentation. If your concentration isn’t perfect, your work won’t be perfect. You don’t want to turn in a paper that is less than perfect do you? So click the ones you haven’t done and click on your pet peeves too. Click in the middle of each button because I hate unnecessary clicking; its just not efficient.”
After viewer clicks submit, screen goes back to Peggy.
Screen switches to blank with large “How do I justify?” button in center.
Slide show images of overflowing garbage, sticky floors and dirty toilets loop flash at a dizzying, hypnotic speed.
Slideshow continues looping.
Rollover laundry basket-to-mop button takes user back to radio button list.
When finished, viewer clicks linked text: “Back to Peggy.”
Screen spins back to thumbnail gallery.
2nd thumbnail expands to show animated image of a male, middle-aged hippie with red-rimmed eyes. He’s wearing faded tie-dye and sitting next to a fluorescent purple lava lamp in a dark room. Under the image is the caption: “Don’t Care Dude.”
He yawns and starts to speak, falls asleep, then wakes up and speaks again.
During this rant, Dude musters enough motivation to point at screen for emphasis while waving a smoldering cigarette with his other hand.
Screen switches to image of Dude sitting cross-legged on a braided rug, in meditation stance.
Rollover lava lamp button appears under image of Dude. Lava bubbles when rolled over.
Image of Dude’s blank wall appears.
Stays for one minute.
There’s a nail hole in the center of the wall and a tattered “Grateful Dead” black light poster to the far right bottom corner of screen hanging lopsided.
Screen flashes back to Dude
Bright blue text appears on black background under Dude’s image.
“The Motto of Dude: Learn from rocks”
A door creaks open behind Dude, letting in a crack of light, revealing an uncovered, ratty mattress on the floor. A woman with mesh curlers in her hair pokes her angry face into the room.
Door slams shut, rattling the few contents of the room.
Dude turns and yells at closed door over his shoulder.
Dude turns back to face screen again.
Screen switches to a colorful background with a column of 3 rollover music note buttons. When rolled on, a song title appears. The same song appears for each button. “Time Is on My Side” (by Rolling Stones)
Screen switches back to Dude
Music note rollover appears under image of Dude. When rolled on, text pops up “Sing along with Dude.”
The words to the song appear in window under image of Dude.
Dude sways back and forth.
Screen goes back to view of Dude on rug.
Dude passes out and screen spins back to thumbnail gallery.
This time, there is no person. Instead, a game of solitaire between the user and the computer is offered. The game never lets the computer or the user win.
There is a “Start New Game” button at bottom of screen.
New screen appears with a professor in an elaborate library. He begins to speak. The glasses on the end of his long nose slide down.
Big rollover question mark appears in middle of screen.
Screen switches to close up of Professor’s mustached mouth.
Screen switches back to colorful kaleidoscope background with two buttons, one labeled “Yes” and one labeled “No.” At the bottom of screen, is linked text: “Click here for next month’s characters.”
Huge blue, bubble text (GO DO YOUR WORK) blink on and off on background of a split screen of Peggy and Dude with the caption underneath the images in block letters, “YOU IN 20 YEARS.”
Screen spins back to opening page segment of site.
Viewer can now start all over again.
Screen switches to sky blue background with row of characters to be seen on the site the following month. (These will change every month and the time-wasting game offered at the end will change too, but no preview for the game.)
Floating text heading reads, “Got finals coming up? Kill time with these guys next month.”
When clicked, each picture expands and the character says one sentence.
When previews end, screen spins to original color background and text appears, “Thank you for letting us teach you the guilt-free way to doing nothing!” /
Peggy
“Oh! How can you stand it? You must start right away, or you’ll never write anything ever again! With your workload, you need to plan at least eight hours of cleaning before you even think about homework! How can you write surrounded by all that mess? I would go crazy! Ha ha ha!(laughs nervously)”Viewer clicks button.
Background noise: Annoying heavy metal music screeches
Peggy vo
“Here’s how you justify putting off your work. First stare at this slide show for an hour. You need to understand what I’m…er, I mean, what YOU’RE dealing with! Then make a list of chores. Make a separate list for each room, detailing every task. Use my list, or you’ll miss something for sure!”Peggy
If your list isn’t perfect, your work won’t be perfect, and then you can’t concentrate properly on your homework! It’s not procrastinating, its prioritizing!”(Screams)
AUGHHHHHHH!!!
Viewer clicks second thumbnail
Background noise: New Age meditation music.
Dude
“Hey man, I just go with flo…zzzzzzzzz.
Whoa! Where am I? Oh yeah. I may look young, but I’m, uh, well, I’m older than I look. I think I’m in my forties. Yeah, I’m still in school too, I think. No, wait, I decided not to go anymore. Anyway, when I was in school, I partied man! You’re only young once, homework can wait till you’re, like, old and stuff, and then you won’t have to do it because you won’t want to waste your last few months alive, either! Cool, huh? You’re wasting your youth, man if you get caught up in all that uptight, workin’ for the man stuff, man. It’s just a way for them to keep you down, man! They’re trying to tell you how to live your life, man!”
Dude
“Now follow me down the true path of enlightenment and eternal dudedom and you’ll learn about life, man!”
”First, find something to stare at. I like my wall because it doesn’t try to distract me.”
Viewer clicks button
Background music: New Age meditation
Timer goes off: “BEEEEEEP!”
Dude
“Whoa. That was intense, man. I feel so centered and like, totally peaceful. Now I feel empowered to give back positive energy to the world, man. See man? That’s what its all about. How can you give back to the world, man, when you waste your life workin’ for the man, instead of centering yourself like the trees and rocks do? My motto is: Learn from rocks. Why? Because they don’t talk, they listen. They know all they need to know about life and they just be. Yeah, man, that’s what its all about. Life is so much deeper than work and homework. Why am I the only one who understands everything?”
Woman (yells):
“Get a job you worthless, lazy bum!”
SLAM!
Dude
“Leave me alone, Mom! I’m forty years old! When are you gonna learn to respect my privacy?”
Woman’s voice vo (as if yelling through door)
“No you’re not! You’re 43!”
Dude
“Sorry, my mom is so clueless about the universe and the real world. She doesn’t get the cosmic picture, man. You gotta give back, man. You gotta let your soul out. You should sing to the Great Aura, man. Pick a song and we’ll do it together, man.”
Viewer clicks music note
Dude“Ok sorry, so I can only sing one song but its cool because it reminds me that there’s always time, so I can take life at my own cool pace.”
Viewer clicks rollover
“Time Is On My Side” begins to play.Dude sings in a raspy, off-key voice.
Song ends
Dude
“Wow. Don’t you feel better knowing that you’ve contributed to the aura of peace in your universe instead of shuffling papers like a total square? See? You’re not procrastinating. You’re making yourself better than other people while making the world a better place, man.And the REALLY cool part is….zzzzzzzzz.”
Viewer clicks on third thumbnail
Viewer clicks on “New Game”Professor
“Well, well, well. Having fun are we? Yes, I can see you and I’ve been watching you all this time. YOU have turned procrastination into an art. I only have one question for you…”Viewer clicks rollover.
Professor
“Do you feel like you’ve wasted enough time in this site yet?”Viewer clicks Yes
Professor vo (shouting)GO DO YOUR WORK!!!!
Viewer clicks No
Professor vo
Now, that’s just pathetic.If Viewer clicks linked text