CHARACTERPUPPET
MordecaiKermit
VashtiOscar the Grouch
EstherMuppet Girl
HamanThe Count
KingElvis
ScribeElmo
GuardsBert & Ernie
Cookie MonsterCookie Monster
Janice- Janice, aka Shira the Shirleader
USY beauty contestants
10 sons of Haman
Opening Number: Avenue Shu
Full Cast:
The sun is shining it's a lovely day
A perfect morning to get up and pray
But Persian life's not always gay
What can you do?
They took our temple and they made us go
And ev'ry year seems to go so slow
But we're at home in the place where we get to be
Right here on Avenue Shu
We live on Avenue Shu!
Our rabbi too.
You're proud to be a Jew
and you live on Avenue Shu!
You live on Avenue Shu!
You live on Avenue Shu!
Cookie Monster:(enters, following cookie crumbs, during opening song)
Hamantashen! Yum! Me love Hamantashen..etc.
(stops when he sees Janice, looks around)
Hmmm? Where am I?
Janice:This is Avenue Shu.
Cookie Monster: Avenue Shu? What’s that?
Janice:Oh this is a very special place – you know, a long time ago… a great miracle happened here.
All:Wrong holiday!
Janice:OK, well a pretty good miracle happened here. Let me tell you what happened – in fact I’m going to tell you “the whole megilla”.
SONG: People in your neighborhood
Ensemble (King, Mordy, Haman, Esther):Oh, who are the people in your neighborhood?
In your neighborhood?
In your neighborhood?
Say, who are the people in your neighborhood?
The people that you meet each day
King:I am Ahashverosh, King of Shushan
Through rain or sleet or hail I’m the man
My queen Vashti isn’t always true
I might need to find a queen that’s new
Mordy: I am Mordecai, I’ll save the King
From guards who I heard chattering
Sweet Esther is my lovely niece
Her daring courage won’t decrease
All Shushaners: 'Cause Mordy is a person in our neighborhood
In our neighborhood
He's in our neighborhood
And the King is a person in our neighborhood
They're the people that we meet each day
Haman:I am Haman and I hate the Jews
They always greet me with some “Boos”
These people won’t bow down to me
Their death will be the King’s decree
Esther:I am Esther and I’m brave it's said
My beauty keeps me in good stead
But if Haman’s anywhere about
He makes me want to scream and shout
All Shushaners:'Cause Esther is a person in our neighborhood
In our neighborhood
She's in our neighborhood
And Haman is a person in our neighborhood
Well they're the people that we meet
When we're walking down the street
They're the people that we meet each day
Cookie:Mmmm. I SEE…. C is for Cookie!
Janice:Wooohhh. Stay on course Cookie Monster. Vashti? Want to get us started with our story?
SONG: Rubber Duckie – Vashti/King
(Vashti to the King)
A-hash-aver-us, you’re the one,
Life with you was always fun,
But don’t expect for me to be there for you, NO!…that will not do-oo.
I’m a queen and that’s a fact,
Displaying me to be exact,
Is undignified and not in my resume…..Oy vey!
(King to Vashti)
If you don’t heed me, I will let you, go-o-o,
A new queen’s beauty to everyone I’ll sho-o-ow….doo-be-doo-be-doo-be.
(King to Haman)
Haman, send a royal decree,
Bring me lots of girls to see,
Find a new queen who will sit right by my side!
SONG:Hounddog – Elvis (King)
You ain’t nothing but a has been
Screeching all the time.
Ain’t nothing but off key
Yappin all the time.
You can’t hold a tune,
So you ain’t no wife of mine
They said you were top bill
Always filled the club
They said you had the best moves
But that was just a lie
You ain’t never dance for me,
So you ain’t no wife of mine- Heeeee!
Cookie Monster:me think he not very nice.
Janice:Well, this is just the beginning of the story.
Cookie Monster:Me want more Hamantashen!
Janice:Just wait, Cookie. You’ve got to hear whatthe king did next. Hit it, Boys!
SONG:Jailhouse rock – King & USY “beauty contestants”
Male Ensemble: The King threw a party on Avenue Shu
The ladies were abundant and ready for review
The band was jumpin’ and the joint began to swing.
You should’ve heard thoses wannabe new queens sing
Chorus: That rock, gotta have it, that rock
Everybody in the royal flock
Was dancin’ for the King’s big rock.
Male Ensemble:That Esther chick was sittin’ on a block of stone
Way over in the corner peekin’ at the throne
Mordy said, “Bubele, don’t be scared
If you wanna be a queen you gotta be prepared”
Chorus: That rock, gotta have it, that rock
Everybody in the royal flock
Was dancin’ for the King’s big rock.
Male Ensemble:So Esther gathered up all her bling
To get the King’s attention at the Shushan swing
She swept him right off his royal throne
And ended up the Queen who would be well-known.
Chorus: That rock, gotta have it, that rock
Everybody in the royal flock
Was dancin’ for the King’s big rock!
(Contestants disperse off stage one by one, but Esther stays and sings to the King.)
SONG:Melach Love – Esther
Melech love, dear Melech love,
I need to be your only love.
Pick me, I’ll be your queen,
The best queen you’ve ever seen
I’ll do it all for you,
Stick to you just like glue.
Oh! Melech love, I’m here for you,
To you alone I will be true,
I’m the answer to your dream
In your eye I’ll put a gleam!
Don’t throw this chance away,
You’ll find I’m here to stay,
My Uncle Mo’ will feast with you,
(aside) He won’t tell you I’m a Jew,
I’ll be there night and day,
Won’t try to run away,
Choose me, pick me,
Melech, Melech,
Melech love, my Melech love, (fade out…..)
Elvis:King is for Esther; Esther is for me…
King:Now which Shushan maiden starts with the letter E?
Esther starts with E!
Lets think of other girls that start with E!
Uhhh, ahh who cares about the other girls!
E is for Esther she’s good enough for me!
E is for Esther she’s good enough for me!
E is for Esther she’s good enough for me!
Oh Esther, Esther, Esther starts with E!
Ohhhh!
E is for Esther she’s good enough for me!
E is for Esther she’s good enough for me!
E is for Esther she’s good enough for me!
Oh Esther, Esther, Esther starts with E!
ahh Do you know what?
(spoken)Elana is elegant and her name starts with an E
Elizabeth is energetic and effervescent and her name starts with an E!
But they’re not as great as Esther!
Ohh then Ernestine starts with an E but she exhales like a trumpeting Elephant!
Sooooooo!
E is for Esther she’s cool enough for me!
Yeah
E is for Esther she’s keen enough for me!
Oh E is for Esther she’ll be queen enough for me!
Yeah
Esther, Esther, Esther starts with E!
Oh Boy!
Esther, Esther, Esther starts with E!
Kiss,Kiss,Kiss,Kiss
(off to the side)
Cookie Monster:me think Esther is really pretty! Maybe she can get Cookie more Hamantashen! Me really hungry!
Janice:We’re not nearly to end of this story.
(Scene continues with muppets all bowing down as Haman/Count passes by. He counts “1, 2, 3, 4” but messes up his counting once Mordechai refuses to bow. )
Haman:Excuse me, Don’t you know what to do?
SONG:Shout – Mordechai, Haman & Ensemble of Muppets
Mordy:Now wai-a-ait a minute!
I know you wanna make me (Bow!)
Get on my knees and (Bow!)
Put my head down and (Bow!)
Right before you and (Bow!)
Not ever will I (Bow!)
I won't say I will
Forget it, won’t say, yeah
Haman:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
(Say you will)
Say it right now Mordy
(Say you will)
Come on, come on
(Say you will)
Say it, will-a you-ooooo!
(Say you will)
You’ll do it, now!
I want you to know
I said I want you to know right now, yeah!
If you don’t bow down to me
I said if you don’t, hey! hey!
Said if you never bow to me
The Jews will be toast, hey! hey!
I said I want you to bow-ho-ho-hey!
I said I want you to bow right now, hey! hey!
Mordy:You know you make me wanna
(Shout) lift my heels up and
(Shout) throw my head back and
(Shout) kick my heels up and
(Shout) Come on now
(Shout) a little bit softer now
(Shout) a little bit softer now
(Shout) a little bit softer now
(Shout) a little bit softer now
(Shout) a little bit louder now
(Shout) a little bit louder now
(Shout) a little bit louder now
Ensemble:Hey-Hey-A-Hey
(Hey-Hey-A-Hey)
Hey-A-Hey-A
(Hey-A-Hey-A)
Mordy:So wai-a-ait a minute!
Janice:Look, Cookie – there’s that mean evil Haman. Looks like he can’t sleep. The story is really getting exciting now.
Cookie Monster:Haman. Bad man. Baaad man. He want to evict all people in Avenue SHu mmm. me want more Hamantash----
Janice:Shhhhhhh!
SONG:It’s not Easy Being Mean – Haman
It’s not that easy being mean.
Having to be the guy who looks out for the King and Queen
When I think it could be nicer being a liar, thief, or executioner
Or something much more practical like that.
It’s not that easy being mean.
Having to look all tough, debonair, and wear this hat
And people who pass you by, have to bow down
because they know you’ll have them hanged
or burned, or tortured,
or something sensible like that
But mean’s the color of fear
And mean can be loud and sharp like knives
And mean can be big, and get My Way
And make Mordechai, and the Jews
Pay Me with their lives
Well mean is all there is to be
I get it from my family tree
I know they all wonder, they wonder…
How can they be Haman? and be special?
And be especially mean, just like me.
(Scene: Bert & Ernie, the guards)
Bert:Hey Ernie, are you good at directions?
Ernie:Why of course Bert! North, South, East, West
Bert:No Ernie, not those. I meant Haman’s directions to kill the king!
Ernie:Oh…gosh Bert
(Mordy- wide open mouth overlooking scene)
Doodoodoodoo (to next scene in King’s chambers)
SONG:The Internet is Great
[dialogue]
King: I can’t sleep…Haman,Fetch my book of histories and read to me.
Haman:Your majesty, the entire book?
King:No Haman. Just until I fall asleep. I only need the highlights, not a whole Megillah.You know Haman, I read most of the stories the other day on that new invention here on Avenue Shu.
Haman:You mean, the Internet?
King:Yes! The Internet.
Haman:I have no use for that.
King:Why Haman? It's wonderful. You can learn ... lots!
[Haman looks up to the audience with a smile]
Haman:LOTS?
King:Yes, lots.
Haman:[louder] LOTS?? Well I know lots about ... LOTS! [mouths out loud] Purim!
[music starts in background while the king opens up a laptop.]
King:This Internet.It's amazing ... so modern ...
[sings...]
King: The Internet is really, really great
Haman: FOR PURIM!
King: Last week I used it looking for some dates
Haman: FOR PURIM
King: Huh?
I surfed Sefer Panim
Haman: FOR PURIM
King: And hooked up with Esther
Haman: FOR PURIM
King: It's like a Persian smorgasbord of mates
Haman: FOR PURIM
King:Haman!!!
Haman: The internet is for Purim
King:Haman!!!
Haman: The internet is for Purim
King: Your supposed to be reading!
Haman: The king thinks that the net's for scorin'. (No! It's for)
Purim Purim Purim
[dialogue while music vamps]
King:Haman!!!
Haman: Yes, your majesty?
King: You are ruining my song.
Haman: Sorry your majesty.I got carried away.
[King A looks at laptop screen]
King: Look.Here's a story about a man who saved my life.
What should be done to honor such a man?
Haman: He shall wear a royal robe and be led on one of the king's horses through the city streets proclaiming before him, "This is what is done for the man the king delights to honor!"
King: A splendid idea!
[sings...]
King:Take Mordechai and march him through the streets.
Haman: [Haman gets worried] For Purim???
King: No! You'll sing his praise to everyone he meets.
Haman: [more worried] .... for Purim??
King: No! You'll honor this great man
Haman: For Pur ---
King: For this is my command
Haman: Purim?
King: Now I'll get on the web and send the tweets.
[All Muppets sing]
Muppets: The Internet is for Purim
Haman: I hate the internet!
Muppets: The internet is for Purim
Haman: I'm leaving
[Haman starts waking away]
Muppets: For Haman will surely come to ruin
Muppets and King: Purim Purim Purim
SONG:I’ve Got a Shpielin’ (Feeling)
Hishead was reelin'
Hecould not sleep a wink on that night,
They spoke of the plot onhis life,
Almost came to much strife,
Hishead was reelin' (Woohoo)
Heneeded to destroyhis deceiver,
Who was the cause ofhis fever?
Asked his friend Haman, his believer?
What can I do?
(spoken) Do all I can?
I must do honor
This good, good man.
Haman: (spoken-pointing to self) I said,
(sung)
“Dress him in robes
Lead him around
Give him some money
To spend it up
Fill up his cup
Mazel Tov!
Paint the town
Just shut it down.
King: (facing audience and pointing to Haman)
It wasn’t him
Was Mordechai
We honored him,
Up to the sky...
sung) And we were shpielin'
Haman thought he was so clever,
Posed the question ofhis endeavor,
He’s planned to pull that lever
That night's gonna be a bad, bad, night
Cookie Monster: Oh No! Who will come to the rescue?
SONG:Shushan Connection
Esther: Someone is trying to murder my people
And take me away from your side.
I never told you my people are Jewish
But now there is nothing to hide
Haman is secretly building the gallows
[sarcastically] Did you ever notice … he’s mean?
I have been warned by my Shushan connection
I beg for your mercy as Queen.
King: Who is this hero who saves my sweet Esther?
Esther: Mordechai, uncle to me
King: I think your uncle is truly a hero
Haman will pay you will see.
He’s going to hang on the very same gallows
That he would use for his crime
Then I will honor both you and your uncle
Your legend will live for all time
Both: Oh what wonderful thing. A miracle that saved our people.
Chorus and Both: One day we’ll live in a world that is peaceful
One where we don’t have to hide
Maybe the story of Purim reminds us
Hashem guides us all from inside
Read the Megillah and let’s tell the story
Ring all the groggers and say
Ev’ryone learns from the Shushan connection
And it’s still important today.
La la la la la la….Saved the Jews!
Cookie Monster: What a great story!
Janice: That’s the tale of Purim.(out pops Elmo)
Elmo: Purim? I looove Purim!
SONG:Elmos Song
Esther was brave.
She needed to save,
Her fellow Jews.
Went to the King
A difficult thing,
With the news!
La,la,la - la,la,la - la….
La,la,la - la,la,la - la….
He had a plan
That awful man,
That’s so wrong!
Said…. “Jews won’t bow down”,
Made Haman frown,
“They don’t belong!”
Haman was evil,
Acted so strong.
He needs to be gone……..
La,la,la,la – la,la,la,la, woe begone!
La,la,la,la – la,la,la,la, sound the gong!
Mordechai and Esther,
They saved the day,
HOORAY!...Haman's gone!
SONG:Staying Alive (ensemble)
VERSE: Well you can tell by our story, you can say
That our avenue is here to stay
Mor-de-chai and Es-ther too
They just saved the lives of ev’ry Jew
In all Persia, and Babylon, our tribes keep rockin’ on and on
The King he fin’ly understands that Mordechai’s the better man
CHORUS: Haman tried to snuff us
But Esther called his bluff
And now we're staying alive
Stayin’ alive
Ev’rybody’s singing
Our groggers will be ringing
Cause we’re stayin’ alive,
Stayin’ alive
Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
VERSE: Well that Haman thought he had a plan
Gonna rid the Jews throughout the land
Esther threw a party, played it true
Told the King she real-ly was a Jew
And the King said, “It’s okay”
Your people get to live and pray
But Haman gets to swing real high
On gallows meant for Mordechai
CHORUS: Haman tried to snuff us
But Esther called his bluff
And now were staying alive
Stayin’ alive
Our children will be thrill’ah
When they read the Megillah
Cause we’re stayin’ alive,
Stayin’ alive
Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
(Everyone bows, disperses, leaving only Cookie & Janice)
Cookie: Me want more hamantaschen
Janice: You only get hamentaschen if you sing, Cookie!
Cookie: What song do I have to sing?
Janice: How about Chag Purim?
(ALL Muppets assemble as a choir. Ask for pitch)