Revise:
Start with Verb+ing
Compare:
Liam realised he had finally been picked for the team when he looked down the list for his name.
With:
Looking down the list for his name, Liam realised he had finally been picked for the team.
- Consolidate:
Ahhh, writer’s tactics!
By using verb + ing our writer makes the reader feel more ______with Liam’s feelings. The reader can easily ______Liam’s ______as he looks down the list. The _____ of words in the sentence is effective because the writer ______the good news until the end!
anticipation withholds imagine order
emotionally involved
Secure:
Write your own withholding information sentences on your whiteboards using the starter words ‘gripping’, ‘clutching’, ‘holding’. Check to ensure you have a main clause and a subordinate clause and that you have used the punctuation correctly.
Revise:
Start with Verb+ed!
Compare:
Kylie decided to relax in the jacuzzi because she was tired from the snowboarding.
With:
Tired from all the snowboarding, Kylie decided to relax in the jacuzzi.
Consolidate
Ahhh, writer’s tactics!
Perhaps this writer thinks the most ______information should come first – the fact that it’s snowboarding that has made Kylie tired. The writer is putting the order of events in the ______in the same order that they happened in ______– snowboarding first followed by relaxing. ______tactics – we like it!
sentence important
Chronological real time
Secure:
Try your own chronological sentences beginning with Shocked by…, Angered by… and Delighted by…
Revise:
Start with a Place!
Compare:
A faint low moaning came from beyond the grey misty clifftop path.
With:
Beyond the grey misty clifftop path, there came a faint low moaning.
Consolidate:
Ahhh, writer’s tactics!
This writer wants us to imagine the ______before s/he builds up more ______with the description of moaning so s/he puts the place ‘beyond’ first in the sentence. Putting the place first can create the right kind of ______before introducing any ______in writing. It’s a good tactic to get your reader into the story and not give away too much too soon!
setting tension atmosphere action hooked
Secure:
Try these place starters:
OnInsideWithinOutside Throughout
NearBeyondAmongBelowBeneathTo
TowardsFromIntoOut ofOff
Revise:
Start with a time!
Compare:
The players were gathered around the team list already.
With:
Already, the players were gathered around the team list.
Consolidate:
Ahhh, writer’s tactics!
This is a great writer’s tactic because by putting the word ‘Already’ at the start of the sentence, the writer is making the players’ ______seem very ______by using this particular ‘time’ word. The ‘time’ word goes first in the sentence to make the reader feel like the ______is going on right here right ___so the reader feels even more ______.
urgent anticipation now involved action
Secure:
Try these place time at the beginnings of your sentences:
BeforeDuringEarlierLaterSince
MeanwhileWheneverAt + o’clockIn + _ hours
AlreadyTill UntilNowBy + the time…
Revise:
Start with a reason/reservation!
Compare:
Steve really liked hanggliding although he didn’t often get the chance to fly.
With:
Although he didn’t often get the chance to fly, Steve really liked hanggliding.
Consolidate:
Ahhh, writer’s tactics!
Bring on pure sophistication tactics! This writer has ordered this sentence so that the ______idea comes first - Steve doesn’t get to fly often. Then s/he adds the ______idea - that Steve likes hanggliding. These positive and negative ideas about the same subject give the impression that Steve would like to go flying more often. This writing is _____ and subtle because it leaves the reader to realise Steve’s disappointment at not being able to fly more often without having to _____ that fact in an ______(and probably boring) way!
state clever obvious positive negative
Secure:
Try to use some more words to express reservations:
AlthoughThoughIf Even ifWhereasDespite