Vanessa Bohler
My book is a self-portrait: neck outstretched, looking upward with eyes closed, mouth open wide. The open mouth signifies a cry from deep within. Words of pain, annoyance, sicknesses, and the ills that come from society’s labeling surrounds the page. Am I whom you have labeled me or are you willing to open yourself up to see more.
Fear is the one word which speaks most loudly to me, for fear is what keeps us from dealing with reality. Fear is defined in Webster’s dictionary as, "an unpleasant, sometimes strong emotion caused by an anticipation or awareness of danger" or "anxious concern." I think it more accurate to say that fear is an unpleasant, sometimes strong emotion caused by the anticipation of "loss." It may be a loss of health (disease or damage to the body) or it may be loss of face (damage to the ego, pride, or image). It stands to reason then, that fear increases with an increased attachment to the physical world. It increases as well with a dependence on the approval of others. Fear is also more pervasive when there is a lack of faith that we have greater significance in the universe than what we own, or how others perceive us. The fear of what others will think of us, our shortcomings, our family secrets, etc. keeps us from living an abundant life. If only we can face and release the fears that cause us to be broken, healing will come. The quote by Eleanor Roosevelt on the front of my piece resonates deeply within me.
A question mark is placed on the top of the page to signify the questions we must ask ourselves to come to this personal truthfulness and understanding. I believe we are here by the Creator to hear what others are saying and let them know that there is hope and healing. No question is ever too ridiculous when you are lost and need to find yourself from the seat of despair.
For me, this Project has led to a sense of adaptation for me, whereby the sharing of very personal stories by the mothers of children with special needs has led me to question where I find myself and my release. For me, healing is in music, which I depicted by placing music notes on the opposite side of the page. Music is my safe place where I can be healed and feel whole, I can trust, and I can release my fears. We all have a song that is within our heart and embedded in our soul that we can sing to bring us to a place of where we are secure and in a place of WHOLENESS!
I SING BECAUSE I AM HAPPY I SING BECAUSE I AM FREE!”