“GIVE ME SOULS,
Use Me to Your Glory, Oh God,
or I DIE”
…a personal testimony
June 15, 1967, at 7:45 PM after Thursday evening prayer, I wrote this with tears:
“I want my life to count in eternal values, and to carry on the ministry of Jesus Christ. There is nothing else to live for. I want God to be glorified for eternity because I lived for a few years on this earth. I want to leave an army of souls behind me whose one goal it is to glorify Jesus Christ. I’m sick of working and thinking about temporal things. Only eternity measures what’s really worth anything. Souls are what interest God – souls that will live forever –and souls are what interest me. The hour is late. Jesus is coming soon. My heart is on fire – use me, Oh God, lest I die.”
March 8, 1991, I wrote this with tears:
“To rescue souls from the kingdom of darkness, in partnership with the Holy Spirit, and bring them into the kingdom of light, to ground them in the Word and get them filled with the Spirit until they glorify Jesus and bring others into the kingdom is still the burning, overwhelming desire of my heart. Again I cry “Give me souls, use me to Your glory, or I die.”
I want to share some of my testimony that I have not shared in an article.
But also: Please read the letter by Corrie Ten Boom, 1974, below in Appendix A - It was written especially for us in this final generation!!!
From age 6, at my true new birth, joy flooded my spirit so much that I could not be quiet. Not even on the Sunday afternoon of May 13, 1951 at my cousin’s house in Los Angeles on the afternoon before I skipped down the church aisle to make my “public confession of faith,” in Jesus as my Savior. When I got to the front of the church, I was led to sit down on a bench. A deacon came up to me and gave me a “decision card” to sign. I looked up at him and said “I didn’t come down here to sign a decision card; I came to go in there (pointing to the prayer room) and receive Jesus as my Savior. He walked away with the card in hand.
My faith was strong in what the Word said. From age 7, I began craving Truth, the whole Truth and nothing but the Truth! Abba made sure I got the Truth, even though the underground river of revelation of His Word didn’t begin flowing freely until He got me all alone with Himself in Aqaba, Jordan in 1999, when He became my ONLY Teacher! There, I had just His Word, my Teacher, the Author of the Word, and me. For 8 years He taught me. Then He sent me to Israel for 8 years to learn from Him.
Man-controlled Religion ties His hands from being able to teach us, since religion is a man-controlled institution in which men take the reins and rule, even discarding His Word if convenient, to proclaim their opinions and reasoning. Later, as a child upward, Religion slowly but surely messed up my pure love for Elohim, His Word, and my understanding of His nature, ways, and thinking. Though my church did not outwardly teach that the God of the Old Testament was mean and cruel and Jesus and the Holy Spirit of the New Testament were nice and sweet, the spirits behind Greco-Roman Christianity had their effect on my understanding of who “God” really was. My eight years in Jordan got that all straightened out, and put me on a firm foundation! He showed me the foundation of Christianity first thing. And I wrote the mini-book The Foundation of Deception, now on my website, as well as on Amazon Kindle.
Even before my “public confession,” at age 6, it was the passion of my heart to share the Good News of Jesus’ death and resurrection and His salvation. I began talking to all my friends about it. I became a youth-leader in the church. By age 9, I was invited by the pastor of the Mexican Baptist Church to come and teach the children. I became the pianist too. I loved it so much. By age 11 I was going on missionary trips to Mexico. By age 17, I was ready to be trained as a missionary to China. How Abba called me to China is a miraculous story in its self. Abba later said “China is your diving board, after you go there, then it’s the world.” He said that to me 33 years before I got to China on my first trip in 1994. After I went, as He had said before, from then on I began going to the nations of the world.
In my church denomination, a person had to go to Bible College to be a missionary. Duh – what Bible College did the Apostles go to? In the book of Acts it is said they “turned the world upside down” with their preaching. They had one Teacher – they were disciples (taught ones) of their Master Yahushua Messiah. Yahushua said, Luke 14:25-33, that if we don’t forsake all that we have to follow Him, we CANNOT be His taught ones. What religion did Enoch have, Noah, Moses, the Prophets, or Messiah? Yahuwah and Yahushua are NOT a religion – They are Persons to know and love.
From the day of Pentecost/Shavu’ot, 28 CE forward, we can be baptized by Messiah into the Spirit of Yahuwah so that we are gifted and empowered to go forth, like the Apostles, and earlier disciples, to preach the Good News of the Kingdom, to heal the sick, deliver those tormented with demons, and thus to “disciple” all nations. The taught ones by Yahushua became the teachers of the new believers. Read the book of Acts!
No one really should preach, teach, or counsel, in the Name of the Elohim of the Word unless they are one of His Taught ones--taught by His Ruach ha Kodesh – the Spirit of Set-Apartness – the Spirit of Yahuwah! Otherwise their intellect, mental reasoning, ideas, and opinions get in the way and they impart error in their teachings.
You can read the tragedy that happened in 1965 that led me away from the perfect will of Yahuwah for many years, 32 to be exact. But, the fervor to see people born again never totally left my spirit.
Those truly born again feel that they are ambassadors for Him, they are “compelled” to share the news of salvation and lead others to receive it, and then disciple them. (II Corinthians 5:17-21)
From 1962 at BIOLA College, now BIOLA University, I began my serious study of the Word. It became a passion like my sharing the Good News. In 1970, Hal Lindsey’s book The Late Great Planet Earth inspired a whole movement of end-time prophecy teachers. At that time, of course, I was immersed into dispensational theology by my College instructors and my church. The pre-7-year tribulation rapture was what I taught until I took off my denominational glasses and read the Word for what it said, and realized I’d been duped like millions of others. I finally tracked down the source of this horrible deception to the Roman Catholic Jesuits. I wrote “Who Will Be Left Behind?” in January 2006. I exposed it further in “Warning! Nine Lies…” August 6, 2016.
The passion for Truth, for spreading the Good News, and passion for the coming of Messiah consumed me. I tied the three passions together into one big fire ball. It was the driving passion of my dad, too. He imparted to me great love for the Word, great love for the Spirit of Yahuwah, for Israel, for sharing the Good News, and for studying the end-times of the return of Messiah. In those days, people who won others to salvation were called “soul winners.”
About ages 19-20, I began ministering on the streets of Los Angeles and Hollywood with “Open Air Campaigners.” I gave my testimony on the little pull-out stage from our big van. It was on one of the nights in Los Angeles that my testimony of my baptism into the Spirit began.
At that time, I began ministering in every arena possible to share the Good News – from children’s ministry in parks and homes, to preaching on the street of “Skid Row,” in downtown Los Angeles where police didn’t even go it was so bad. I had no fear. I preached in Rescue Missions, to the homeless, to gangs, in jails, prisons, half-way houses, juvenile detention facilities, nursing homes, hospitals, apartment complex areas of downtrodden people, and on and on … wherever an opportunity opened up, I went. Later I worked with a “church on the street” in Long Beach, preaching to gangs and prostitutes. I had no fear because the power of Yahuwah was on me to do it.
From the 1960s, I was a teacher in many churches, a “Minister of Music” in two, a pianist in several, and in general a leader among child, youth, and adults. I taught in Andrew Womack’s Charis Bible College in Kisumu, Kenya, and in a Bible College I helped start in Long Beach.
I went back to Mexico, and to the Navajo Reservation, many times, and from there, beginning in 1992, I began going to the nations overseas. But, I continued to go to Mexico, then to Central and South America. To date, I’ve been in 34 countries, some many times, and some I’ve lived in for years. The passion for souls never left my spirit. During my 7 trips to Africa over 6 years, my main gifting was preaching salvation, and to the born again it was the imparting of the baptism into the Spirit. I also ministered in deliverance from demonic spirits, healings, and of course, always, the teaching of the Word. I taught pastors and church leaders in seminars in Kenya, Uganda, and Tanzania.
On February 23, 1973, I was in the midst of my sinful detour from the path Abba has laid out for me. But, no matter how hard I tried at sinning, Yahuwah’s Spirit would not leave me alone. While waiting for coffee at a friend’s house, I clearly heard Him say: Get a paper and pen I want to talk to you. I asked my friend for a notepad and a pen. They gave me both and then went back into the kitchen.
I began to write as He spoke: “You are Moses, deliver My people from the bondages of Satan through my love flowing through you.! My love is like a wall of water, delivering my people and drowning the enemy. Be My Moses – Deliver My people! All you have gone through is to learn pure love, Only My pure love will lead My people out of bondage. I need Moses’ who will lead My people across the desert of confusion to the fullness of My Kingdom. Now is the time! The fire and the cloud are lifting – the sea is parting – lead them out now. The love Satan is giving the world is a tangled web. Like a fly caught in a spider web, so are My people in the thinking of this world system. Only My pure love will deliver. It gives the one and only reason to leave the world system. Give this to them. It is the living water parted so that My people can be delivered on dry ground – the solid earth of stability.”
I was numb. Though I had worked hard at rebelling against Him, He continued to hold onto my re-born spirit. Isaiah 46:10--He knows the end from the beginning and He knew us before the foundation of the world. So, He deals with us by what He has seen. I thought He had deserted me in my greatest time of need. I still continued on in deep sin, rebellion, and bitter hatred towards Him until 1985, when He said to me, “it’s over, welcome home.” Read my testimony in my autobiography--that will fill in the blanks.
When it was over, it was over. He had given me a dream showing me that I was the one who caused my own pain – not Him. I repented profusely! I had tied His hands from His being able to help me.
From 1985, I went out to begin being His Moses. In the same month, same year, that He was giving me the prophecy--February 1971--He called a man named Steve Lightle to go to Russia for Him to be a Moses for Him, to raise up those like Moses to lead His people to Israel. In 1999, I was in Russia leading His people to the Jewish Agency who helped them go to Israel. I have spent many years in intercession for His people to return to Him, to the Torah, and His Land. [Refer to: “Raising Up Moses”/May 2007 and Steve Lightle’s book Operation Exodus[
In Luke 9:57-62 Messiah was accosted by those who said they wanted to follow Him, but they immediately began giving excuses as to why they could not follow Him. Luke 9:62: “And Yahushua said to him, `No one, having put their hand to the plough and looking back is fit for the Kingdom of Elohim.’ ” Continuing on with Luke 10:1-3: “And after this, the Master appointed several others and sent them two by two ahead of Him into every city and place where He Himself was about to go. Then He said to them, `The harvest indeed is great, but the laborers are few. Therefore, pray to the Master of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest.’ ”
John 4:34-36: “And Yahushua said to them, `My food is to do the desire of Him who sent me and to accomplish His work. Do not say there are four months and then the harvest comes. See, I say to you, lift up your eyes and see the fields, for they are white unto harvest--already! He who is reaping receives a reward and gathers fruit for everlasting life, so that he who is sowing, and he who is reaping, may rejoice together.’ ”
Mark 16:15: “And He said to them, `Go into all the world and proclaim the Good News to ever creature.’ ”
Acts 1:8: “And you shall receive power when the Set-Apart Spirit has come upon you, and you shall be My witnesses in Jerusalem, in Judea, in Samaria and unto the ends of the earth.”
This is a pattern! Start where you are, and the Spirit will lead you forward into greater works even than Messiah did in His ministry (John 14:12).
Daniel 12:3: “And those who have understanding shall shine like the brightness of the firmament, and those that lead many to righteousness like the stars forever and ever.”
Matthew 5:14, 16: “You are the light of the world…Let your light so shine before men…”
Isaiah 42:5-8: “I, Yahuwah, have called you in righteousness, and I take hold of your hand and guard you and give you for a covenant to the people, for a light to the gentiles, to open blind eyes, to bring out prisoners from the prison and those who sit in darkness from the prison house. I am Yahuwah, that is My Name, and my esteem I will not give to another.”