Unit Two Smacking or Reasoning?
The training focus of this unit is the understanding of people’s views and opinions on family education.
Ask the students to think about the topic first so that they may listen actively and respond to the materials with a certain amount of anticipation. Appropriate pre-listening activities can also help the students recognize and select the information needed to accomplish the tasks in the exercises.
In odder to help the students develop hate not-taking skill, the teacher could encourage the students to compare notes and make comments on each other’s work. In this way, they can more consciously reflect upon their own level of judgment and learn from others. Of course, group activities as such should basically by success-oriented so as to maintain the students’ interest in listening and to improve their motivation.
Tape scripts:
When parents make a lot of rules about their children’s behavior, they make trouble for themselves. I used to spend half my time making sure my rules were obeyed, and the other half answering questions like “Jack can get up whenever he likes, so why can’t I?” or “why can’t I play with Angela? Jack’s mum doesn’t mind who he plays with” or : Jack can drink anything he likes. Why can’t I drink wine too?”
Jack’s mum, I decided, was a wise woman. I started saying things like “of course, dear. You can drink as much wine as you like” and “no, I don’t mind how late you get up” and “yes, dear, you can play with Angela as often as you like.”
The results have been marvelous. They don’t want to get up late any more, they’ve decided they don’t like wine, and most important, they’ve stopped [‘laying with Angela. I’ve now realized (as Jack’s mum realized a long time ago) that they only wanted to do all these nasty things because they weren’t allowed to.
Tape script:
Radio presenter: Good afternoon. And welcome to our midweek phone-in. in today’s program we’re going to concentrate on perso9nal problems. And here with me in the studio I’ve got Tessa Callback, who writes the agony column in Flash magazine, and Doctor Maurice Rex, Student Medical Adviser at the University of Norfolk.
The number to ring with your problem is oh one, if you’re outside London, two two two, two one two two. And we have our first caller on the line, and it’s Rosemary, I think, recalling from Manchester. Hello Rosemary.
Rosemary: Hello.
Radio presenter: How can we help you, Rosemary?
Rosemary: Well, it’s my dad. He won’t let me stay out after ten o’clock at night and all my friends can stay out much longer than that. I always have to go home first. It’s really embarrassing…..
Tessa: Hello, Rosemary, love. Rosemary, how old are you dear?
Rosemary: I’m fifteen in two months’ time.
Tessa: And where do you go at night – when you go out?
Rosemary: Just to my friend’s house, usually. But everyone else can stay there much later than me. I have to leave t about quarter to ten.
Tessa: And does this friend of yours… does she live near you?
Rosemary: it takes about ten minutes to walk from her house to ours.
Tessa: I see. Our live in Brighton, wasn’t it? Well, Brighton’s…
Rosemary: No. Manchester…I live in Manchester.
Tessa: Oh. I’m sorry, love. I’m getting mixed up. Yes, well Manchester’s quite a rough city, isn’t it? don’t live in the cityCenter or anything like that. And Christine’s house is in a very quit part.
Rosemary: No. not really. not where we live it isn’t . I don’t live in the cityCenter or anything like that. And Christine’s house is in a very quiet part.
Tessa: Christine. That’s your friend, is it?
Rosemary: Yeah, that’s right. I mean, I know my dad gets worried bout It’s perfectly safe.
Maurice: Rosemary. Have you talked about this with your dad?
Rosemary: No. he must shouts and then he says he won’t let me go out at all if I can’t come home on time.
Maurice: Why don’t you just try to sit down quietly with your dad- sometime when he’s relaxed – and must have a quiet chat about it? He’ll probably explain why he worries about you. It isn’t always safe for young girls to go out at night.
Tessa: Yes. And maybe you could persuade him to come and pick you up from Christine’s house once or twice.
Rosemary: Yes. I don’t think he’ll agree to that, but I’ll talk to him about it. Thanks.
Tape scripts:
1. Discipline needs to be there in a certain amount but too much of it can be a bad thing I think and Icertainly do get too much of it occasionally.
2. I think talking to them, trying to explain why you’re upset, what it is they have done wrong is better than hitting them, because if you hit them they learn to hit other things, other people, you, and I don’t think that is a solution to anything.
3. My experience as, as, as a mother now is you can, you can talk with a child very much and , and the child is going to understand much more than you believe, even if it is a one-year-old or two-year-old child. And I think it’s um it’s a very bad thing punishing children, because it remains being er and awfully dark experience, and so it was it for me too, because when I’m thinking about my parents Ican’t help thinking about these days where they punished me.
4. I wouldn’t be as strict as my dad was, definitely not, coosIdon’t think that works, that only makes you rebel.
5. Well, there’s smacking and smacking. I don’t at all agree with beating a child, but I do think sometimes a quick, short smack on the hand or arm is better than a long drawn-out moan. T’s quick and the child understands it.
6. I can’t really defend it when I, when I hit my child, I don’t do it often but something about it makes me think thatIt’s not …. A terrible thing to do. I mean, what are the alternatives? You can shout at your child, you can try to sit down and reason with your child, which is incredibly difficult if you’re trying to talk to a two-year-old. Or what else can you do? You can send them out of the room, you can send them up to their room, you can send them out of the room, you can send them up to their room, you can not let them… have any pudding for the dinner, or something, but mean to me a little spank, to me it’s quick, it’s honest, it’s physical, but having said all that still try not to do it.
Tape script:
Louisa: She doesn’t let me watch that much TV after school, which is really annoying because most of my friends watch home and Away and Neighbors but I only get to watch one of them. I sometimes don’t –I mean I think that’s really unfair so sometimes I just watch both anyway.
Mother: First and foremost, Louisa watches a fair amount of television whether she thinks she’s deprived or not, she must watch at lest 45 minutes per day. And when I’m not around you knowI know the child sneaks in a fair amount more than that. So she gets in a fair amount of television, very very very few programs will teach them anything. And I think when a child is under your care for 18 years it’s the parents’ responsibility to make sure that the input is of value, and I don’t think television, much television is of any value at all, I think reading a book and doing her piano lessons are far more valuable than watching crummy American soap operas.
Tape script:
My parents gave me a lot of free time. After dinner, during the week when I was say even 15 years old they would let me go out until ten o’clockand they would nearer ask where I went. I would smoke cigarettes and drink beer, at 15 years old I would hang out in the …. In the coal pubs and these were type of things that Idon’t think were too good for me at that time. I think my parents should have, you know, maybe at least showed an interest as to where I was going. They never even asked where I was going and they, they gave me a lot of free time, and I think that they, they felt that this ws a thing that was being a good parent. But I think that teenagers are very naïve, and I was as teenager very naïve, and I think I could have used a little more direction from them. These days a lot of parents think they should be lenient with their children, they should let them grow and experience on their own. And I think that’s what my parents were doing, I think there’s a Biblical saying “Spare the rod, spoil the child” and I think that really applies. And I think you need to direct especially young people. They can be thrown into such a harsh world, especially if you live in a city. I lived in a cry small village and it was still a rough crowd that I found in that village. And my parents never asked questions, and if they only know they would be shocked.
Statements:
1. When the boy was 15 years old, he could stay out until ten o’clock.
2. At the age of 15, the boy was not allowed to smoke cigarettes or drink beer.
3. The boy thought his parents were very good because they gave him a lot of free time.
4. The boy lived in a very crowded city.