MOMSANTA CLAUS
DADSHOPPER
TEEN 1NARRATOR
TEEN 2MARY
KID 1JOSEPH
KID 2
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
(Opening Scene:At Home - FAMILY is standing at left-stage, each member is frozen in place while holding a mug in one hand and a stirring stick in the other. BOY 1’s mug is half filled with water.)
PROPS: decorated Christmas tree surrounded by (12) gift-wrapped boxes and a ball off to one side, hinged door on the opposite side, small cloth covered table with brandy bottle half filled with water, drinking glass, and roll of paper towels near door, medium sized towel strategically located on the floor near BOY 1, handbag for MOM
NARRATOR (ENTERS and walks to center-stage): It’s Christmas Eve at the family home. Let’s join with them as they settle into their holiday family traditions. ‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house . . . not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
(NARRATOR EXITS. FAMILY MEMBERS all begin to stir their mugs)
DAD: (tapping NARRATOR on the shoulder) Uh . . . excuse me, buddy, but I think you need to change your poem. We’re ALL stirring in THIS house.
(DAD, MOM, TEENAGERS, & KIDS all begin to stir their mugs)
MOM: (merry mood) We’re stirring our hot cocoa!
BOY 1: (“accidently” dropping his mug on the towel on the floor) Oops! There goes my hot cocoa!
DAD: Great! Just great . . . hot cocoa all over the brand new carpet. Well don’t just stand there; get some paper towels and clean that mess up!
(BOY 1 starts to yank a bunch of paper towels off of the roll and rubs them on the spill area)
MOM: Don’t yell at our son like that; he’s just a boy.
DAD: Well, that boy needs to start taking some responsibility for his actions.
MOM: Fine . . . but you don’t have to raise your voice like that. I’ll call for a steam cleaner janitorial service . . .
(MOM starts to punch in some numbers on her cell phone)
DAD: (grabbing MOM’S cell phone) What do you think you’re doing?! This is Christmas Eve! That carpet cleaning service will cost us a fortune!
MOM: I don’t think we’re going to go broke because of one lousy phone call to a janitorial service. Be reasonable!
DAD: I AM being reasonable! What’s unreasonable is paying triple-overtime for some janitor to come all the way out here to remove a spot from our carpet on Christmas Eve!
Between all of the holiday decorations and all of the presents we’ve bought, this Christmas season has already cost us more than enough! I’ll buy some carpet cleaner and take care of it later.
MOM: (sarcastic) Yeah . . . that’s right; put it off until later. By then we’ll have a permanent stain in our carpet!
DAD: You’re giving me a Christmas Eve headache.
NARRATOR: The stockings were hung on the mantle with care, in hopes that Saint Nicolas soon would be there.
BOY 2: Hey, that’s right! Daddy; it’s Christmas Eve. When are we going to open up our stockings?
DAD: (alarmed) Stockings?
MOM: (alarmed) Junior is right. We ALWAYS open up stockings on Christmas Eve.
DAD: I know; I know. How did we forget about the stockings this year?
MOM: I don’t know; we’ve just been too busy, I guess.
DAD: (still feeling his headache, and then looking at his watch) Oh, no . . . Walmart closes at 6:00.
MOM: We’ve got to do what we’ve got to do! You teenagers are in charge of the kids while your father and I step out for a few minutes.
TEEN 1: Okay.
TEEN 2: Bye.
(MOM and DAD EXIT through hinged door)
NARRATOR (ENTERS near door): So Mom with her purse went with Dad. And the pair . . . settled into theircar for a shopping nightmare!
(NARRATOR EXITS. TEENAGERS pull out their hand-held devices and zone out, while KIDS pick up a ball and begin to toss it back and forth to each other.)
TEEN 2: (stinky attitude) I heard that all the relatives are coming over to our house for Christmas again this year.
TEEN 1: Oh great. I can’t stand it when Aunt Josephine visits us. Last year she had the nerve to tell me to put my I-Phone away at the dinner table!
TEEN 2: And they always bring us boring presents like books and calendars. Uhh!
TEEN 1: And we always have to write thank-you notes to them. I HATE writing thank-you notes to people I barely know who give me gifts I can’t stand!
TEEN 2: I totally agree. But at least we’re going to get more presents when they get here. Look at how lame and pitiful our Christmas tree looks with only 12 presents around it. There should be way more than that.
KID 1: Maybe we don’t have very many presents because you’re both on Santa’s naughty list again.
KID 2: Yeah!
TEEN 1: Kids! Some day they’ll figure it all out like we did.
SPOTLIGHT – right-stage area, where curtains open to reveal Scene 2.
(TEEN 1 and KIDS remain quiet and still. TEEN 2 quietly builds a tall stack of presents.)
Scene 2: Shopping At Walmart – MOM and DAD are right-stage. MOM is holding a shopping cart filled with stocking stuffers
PROPS: (behind curtains) merchandise display: large office divider replete with mostly empty retailer hooks affixed to it. On one hook rests a “Nitro-Atomic Smart Watch” in its package. Some other electronic-type gadget items can also hang from other hooks.
NARRATOR (ENTERS and walks to center-stage): Shopping at Walmart was totally frightful; it was not even close to being delightful.
(NARRATOR EXITS. SHOPPER ENTERS carrying a hand-cart, and looking over the nearly empty merchandise display)
MOM: Just like I figured it would be on Christmas Eve at Walmart: wall to wall, people everywhere and major crowds.
DAD: (secretively hyped) Huh? Do you see what I see? It’s the latest Nitro-Atomic Smart Watch!
MOM: So?
DAD: (still hyped) “So?” Is that all you can say? This little baby can remind junior when his team schedules practices and games, it calculates his percentage of body fat, it reads the air temperature, it takes pictures, and it even solves difficult math problems.
MOM: (amazed) It solves difficult math problems? I can’t even solve some of those difficult math problems he gets for homework! Let’s buy it for him (she puts it in the shopping cart). How much is it?
DAD: $300, and it’s the last one.
(SHOPPER “steals” the watch from their shopping cart and nonchalantly keeps shopping)
MOM: Think of it as an investment in his future.
DAD: (sighs) I guess . . . hey! (he looks at the shopping cart) Our investment is GONE! (glancing around, he spots the watch in SHOPPER’S handcart, and gently pulls on the handcart). Uh, excuse me, ma’am; that watch you have – we were planning to buy that for our son.
SHOPPER: (threatening tone) Don’t make me go off on you! I’ve been saving money for six months to buy that watch. I finally get enough money and boom! Somebody beat me to it? I don’t think so . . . this is MY watch and MY Christmas gift for MYSELF!
(SHOPPER jerks the handcart out of DAD’S hand and EXITS)
DAD: Great! Now the store is about to close, and all we’re left with are these lame stocking stuffers . . . not very impressive if you ask me.
MOM: What a stressful waste of time this trip to Walmart has been!
(Curtains close and props changeover to prepare for Scene 4.)
Scene 3: KID 1 is busy chasing KID 2 in a game of indoor tag.
PROPS: same as Scene 1, unchanged
TEEN 1: (focused on hand-held device): I’m telling you the truth – there’s a Pokemon in this house somewhere . . .
(TEEN 1 walks right into the Christmas tree, knocking it over. TEEN 1, realizing what just happened, then screams. The scream startles TEEN 2, who has been trying to see how high she can stack the Christmas presents. TEEN 2, startled, then nudges the stack, causing the presents to fall on top of her. She falls as well. KIDS are still chasing each other. Right then, MOM and DAD ENTER through the door.)
DAD: (gasping) What in the world is going on in here?
MOM: (shocked, she takes in the whole scene) Oh, how could you! Our whole Christmas is ruined! Go to your rooms, all of you!
(TEENS and KIDS EXIT around the fallen tree)
(MOM pours herself half a glass of brandy. DAD gives her “the look.”)
MOM: (stressed out and depressed) I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it! This place is a disaster! And we’ve got company coming over tomorrow. This has got to be the worst Christmas ever!
DAD: (takes a deep breath) Okay, okay. But let’s do something else first. Let’s go take a look at some of the light displays in the neighborhoods. All right?
(MOM simply nods her head. MOM and DAD EXIT through hinged door)
NARRATOR (ENTERS near door): Then a Christmas miracle occurred that night; the true meaning of Christmas appeared like a light.
(SANTA CLAUS ENTERS and walks to center-stage)
SANTA: Ho-ho-ho! Christmas time is Santa’s big show!
NARRATOR: No, Santa; we’re not talking about you.
(SANTA CLAUS just shrugs and EXITS. MUSIC – Manheim Steamroller “Silent Night” begins to play quietly in background)
(NARRATOR gestures toward the curtains at right-stage to cue audience.)
SPOTLIGHT – right-stage area, where curtains open to reveal Scene 4
Scene 4: MARY and JOSEPH are right-stage, giving glory to God as they watch over baby Jesus in the manger. Mary instinctively picks Him up and rocks Him gently.
PROPS (behind curtains): manger with hay, lifelike baby, heavy material wrapped around the baby
FAMILY MEMBERS ENTER beside MARY and JOSEPH, all taking in the peace and serenity of the moment)
NARRATOR (walks to center-stage area and cheerfully speaks): A family miracle took place, a miracle of grace – the miracle that gave hope to the whole human race!
(FAMILY members ALL bow in reverence and worship. MUSIC fades.)
MUSIC – Acapella Silent Night
THE END (ALTAR CALL)