Tuesdays with Tanya 01.17.17

Tuesdays with Tanya ~ 01.17.17

I have a confession. I've realized that I've become spoiled rotten. I take this life I have been blessed with for granted all too often. Okay, okay. True honesty? ---not just often---almost daily. Okay, fine, maybe even daily. I mean, when I stop and think about it, I am truly thankful for the health and the roof over our heads and I see how God provides for us each and every day. But that human part of me, the part that gets focused on wanting things to get done faster, or easier, or better? She allows the busy-ness of everyday life drown out the habit of gratitude a lot more than I'd like to admit. Because I've become spoiled rotten.

This past weekend started out just how I had hoped. My hubby came home from a long week of working out of town. It was my mission to get our house sparkling clean before he walked through our front door so we could relax and enjoy some time together on his days off. We're talking not one single piece of dirty laundry---and better yet? Not one single piece ofcleanlaundry that wasn't folded and put away where it belonged either. I don't know the last time I had ALL the laundry done, folded and put away! But, I am sure you know how it goes, the empty laundry baskets started filling back up almost immediately.

I shared on social media about a special morning that my hubby and I had when he got home. He took me to go pick up a piece of furniture he spotted for me on a local for sale site, and how he "let" me talk him into stopping by Lowe's to pick up a shade for a lamp I had recently been given. Ladies, this guy does not do shopping, crowds, parking lots, public places, haha, but he went, for me. And, he held my hand. And, he helped me get the shade I wanted, the very last one, which was tucked in the very back of the shelf hiding behind a bunch of other shades. My love tank was filled, he had truly made my weekend by speaking love to me in the little things he did for me that day.

Fast forward just about 28 hours after my mushy post about how sweet life was and---whammy!---something came along and bumped into my "happy". It was something unexpected and out of my control that struck a nerve in my heart. I wanted to cry, I felt sick inside. Just as we had checked off a couple things on our to do list, and I was feeling accomplished, these other things that needed attention were suddenly piled on top. The details of these circumstances aren't important, but it started to ruin my afternoon.And you can imagine the enemy wasted no time in baiting me with thoughts like "You guys can't ever catch a break," and "You know you're never going to 'get ahead' in life because life is just so unfa"---and I stopped him right there! I heard the words as they came out of my mouth in a conversation with my husband and I didn't mean to come across slightly bratty. I had been raised to know good and well that life wasn't fair, and I wasn't about to fall hook, line and sinker for the pity party that Satan had invited me to! All those lessons from my dad had prepared me for this!I retreated to our bedroom because I knew that my emotions were an indicator of something going on deeper inside and I needed to hit my knees before I unraveled anymore.

I prayed over the condition of my heart and for a nice, Tanya-size dose of gratitude and perspective, to prevent myself from wallowing in something that wasn't going my way. It's interesting, as I sat here trying to type out my thoughts on gratitude earlier, I had children in the background arguing and interrupting my sentences...the enemy is oh so good to distract us from what God has called us to do. He's so good at making us feel like we can't make any head way, in ourselves, in our families or in the physical world and all I could do at that point was laugh---I know this battle strategy of his all too well.

In complete transparency, this blog post sat for a few hours this afternoon, unattended, half written, because I needed to address the heart condition of a couple of my children. One in particular. Life was unfair. Life was horrible. Today was the worst day of his young, little life. (Maybe because today couldn't compare to having ice cream for dinner at Baskin Robbins last night? Guess I raised the bar too high...oops!)

Anyways, I think a few too many late nights and fun days resulted in this melodramatic meltdown that hit, and as I was processing the fallout and trying to figure out my next parenting move, my mind thought of how entitled this child was behaving and how we must have somehow made his life "too" comfortable for him to react over the seemingly tiniest things.

And there it was. God gave me a jab, right there in the middle of a plan for discipline that was intended for this kid and before I knew it, my blog post took a turn I hadn't anticipated. Don't you just love when God jumps in like that and drives a point home?

I was originally planning on writing about my prayer time on Saturday and how wonderful it had been having my focus realigned with all that God had done for me up to this point, including sending His son to die on the cross for my sins. That is where true gratitude stems from after all---by freely accepting the unimaginable gift of Eternal life in Heaven. His unmatched mercy and grace that allows each of us to receive such a gift that is otherwise unattainable on our own. And how I got to thinking in light of Eternity, what do all these "little" things that had me bogged down really matter? They don't. And that was humbling. I was also going to share that I had experienced peace and gratitude since then and I was focusing on true joy, that results from gratitude and faith in God's promises. I was going to share how God had even provided a few moments where all I could do was sit back and smile because he's given me all I ever wanted---a husband, kids and a home to take care of.

But in that moment this afternoon, while I was explaining to my son how easy his life is (seriously, so easy, he has to pick up after himself, help out with a few chores and do his schoolwork, I'd love to be 8 again! Okay, maybe not, but really!)...I realized that my life, while not perfect in the least, has been pretty comfortable too, and that's where the life taken for granted entered. I can grab a coffee anytime I want by just hopping in my car that has a full gas tank, order something off Amazon and have it within two days, all kinds of technology is at my fingertips all while dishes and laundry is washing. It's no wonder otherwise small bumps compared to worldwide issues feel so big to me in my own little world.

After my conversation with God, I went in to share it with a little boy who needed to hear the message too. B and I discussed how gratitude comes from really believing in all that God has done for us, first of all, by sending His son to die on the cross and having real faith in what He has promised to do in the future.Romans 8:28gives us confidence that"God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

If we believe that we were destined to Hell, but God's grace shown upon us and changed our Eternal destiny, the everyday circumstances shouldn't be able to touch us. My boy was concerned that he hadn't been able to keep the promise of living sold out for God that he made when he got baptized this past summer. At almost 9 years old, he already feels how human he is. He feels the weight of what it means to live for Christ, while being a sinner, so we talked about how it's a constant surrender to God, relying on His strength, not our own. God knows that we are human, and that's what His grace is for, to fill in where we mess up.

B and I prayed together and asked God to forgive us for our self-centered perspective and to help us work on our somewhat spoiled rotten hearts that can often (okay, okay, sometimes daily!) lack gratitude when things get a little uncomfortable. We prayed for God to help us when we do get bumped and knocked around a bit in life so that we may keep our eyes on Him and experience all that He has for us with sincerely, grateful hearts that beat solely for Him.

If you're looking to find a renewed awareness of gratitude or joy, Grace to Joy is hosting an online Bible study on Philippians. I can't wait to dig deeper into the Word as we learn how to have joy, even when Life's circumstances are anything but joyful. If you'd like to join us, it isn't too late! Check out the details by clicking the "Bible Study" tab here at www.gracetojoy.org or you can join Grace to Joy's Facebook group, "Grace To Joy Philippians Study".