TOPIC: Communicating Effectively Others

Learning Intentions:

·  We are learning to look at the person who is talking

·  We are learning to think about what is being said

·  We are learning to wait our turn to talk

·  We are learning to say what we want to say in an assertive manner

Success Criteria:

·  We know we are successful when students are able to reflect back on what the other person said

·  We know we are successful when after communicating assertively, students feel understood and validated

·  We know we are successful when both parties feel understood, listened to and respected

Materials for the Activity:

·  Large post-it paper/easel/chalkboard/whiteboard

·  Markers

·  Bowl or hat and scenarios to put in bowl or hat

·  Definition cards of the three types of communication (laminated if possible): Passive, Assertive and Aggressive

·  Check-In Check-Out Rubric

Standard Circle Set Up:

·  Chairs in a circle (preferably without desk attached)

·  Center piece in center of circle

·  3-4 talking pieces laying around the center piece

·  2-4 copies of the Group’s Shared Agreements

Group Procedure

Welcome

Greet students, get in circle. If needed, seat students strategically. Notice how the group is doing today (e.g. high or low energy, high or low motivation). If needed, remind students of the shared agreements. Feel free to ask a student to volunteer to read them or read them yourself.

Ice breaker

If you won a million dollars, what would you do with it? *Try to choose the first person that volunteered. *If he/she begins speaking without a talking piece, remind him/her to choose one. *If he/she does not pass it to the left when done, remind him/her to do so. *Remember who started so you know who will be the last person to speak.

Prior Week Reflection

Pass out the prior week CICO rubric. Have students reflect on their performance by stating: Let’s take some time to review our goal for the week. Take some time to determine if you achieved your goal, what worked, and what didn’t work so well. Then we will send the talking piece around for everyone to share. After a minute has passed, assess group to determine if everyone is ready to start. Then ask: who would like to start?

Topic of the week

Today we are going to talk about becoming a good communicator.

Inspiring Word

We have to face the fact that either all of us are going to die together or we are going to learn to live together, and if we are to live together, we have to talk. Eleanor Roosevelt

Lesson

Write the word “Communicator” on a large post-it paper/chalkboard/whiteboard. Using the circle process, have students brainstorm a list of ways to communicate effectively: How do you know when someone is being a good communicator?

Then ask: Thinking about good communication skills, what are some skills that good communicators use?

These skills should be included on the list somewhere: speak clearly, eye contact, express feelings using “I messages” (e.g. I feel…and what I would like is….), do your best to understand what the other person is saying, if you don’t understand what the other person is saying, ask for clarification, be aware of body language and nonverbal cues and respond in a supportive manner, give feedback or reflect back what the other person is saying when appropriate, focus on the problem/not the person, listen without being defensive or judgmental, stay calm, brainstorm solutions, apologize if necessary, and try to show care and empathy for the other person.

3 types of communicators: We are going to focus on 3 types of communicators today: Passive, Assertive and Aggressive communicators. (Ask a student to read aloud each definition – 1 student/definition)

Passive communication is: I talk softly and give limp handshakes, I don’t stand up for my rights, and I avoid conflicts and disagreements. People take advantage of me. I have trouble saying no and then I am angry and resentful.

Assertive communication: I am an effective communicator and able to express my needs, thoughts, and feelings. I am honest, straight forward and confident. I make good eye contact and speak with a firm voice.

Aggressive communication: I violate others by using my power, position and language. I always insist on getting my way even if I have to step on people to get there. I often scream and shout and don’t care when I hurt someone. I can be abusive emotionally and physically. I like to get even.

Activity to Practice

Get in groups of three. Pick a communication style out of the bowl/hat as well as a scenario. Based on the communication style that you picked, communicate how you would express yourself about this situation.

In a bowl or hat, put the terms aggressive, assertive, and passive and have three SAIG participants pick a communication style from the bowl. Then have one of the participants pick a scenario. Possible scenarios are:

·  A friend needs to borrow $100 dollars

·  You want a raise at work

·  A friend is attempting to make you try something you don’t want to do (e.g. smoking, drinking, sex)

·  Exchanging a clothing item without a receipt

·  An uninvited guest arriving at your party

·  A boyfriend or girlfriend is talking to an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend on Facebook

After students have role played, please demonstrate in the large group the best communicative approach for each scenario (this should be assertive).

Check-In Check-Out Rubric

Pass out new weekly CICO rubric. Have students make a new SAIG driven goal for the upcoming week. (SAIG driven goal idea: practice being assertive in a challenging situation at school, home or community and report back to the group how that went.)

Closing Circle Question

Tell us one assertive communication technique that you are willing to try before our next meeting?

Student Agenda

Topic: Communicating Effectively with Others

Welcome

Ice breaker

If you won a million dollars, what would you do with it?

Prior Week Reflection

Let’s take some time to review our goal for the week. Take some time to determine if you achieved your goal, what worked, and what didn’t work so well. Then we will send the talking piece around for everyone to share.

Topic of the week

Today we are going to talk about becoming a good communicator

Inspiring Word

We have to face the fact that either all of us are going to die together or we are going to learn to live together, and if we are to live together, we have to talk. Eleanor Roosevelt

Lesson

·  How do you know when someone is being a good communicator?

·  Thinking about good communication skills, what are some skills good communicators use?

·  3 types of communicators: Passive, Assertive and Aggressive.

Activity to Practice

·  Get in groups of three. Pick a communication style out of the bowl/hat as well as a scenario. Based on the communication style that you picked, communicate how you would express yourself in this situation.

·  Demonstrate in the large group the best communicative approach for each scenario

Check-In Check-Out Rubric

Make a new goal for the upcoming week. (Idea: Practice being assertive in a challenging situation at school, home or community and report back to the group how that went.)

Closing Circle Question

Tell us one assertive communication technique that you are willing to try before our next meeting?