Remembrance Memorial: November 12, 2013 at 7:00 P.M.
Arborlawn United Methodist Church, 5001 Briarhaven Rd., Fort Worth
Please note change in location and earlier start time!
New Members
We want to extend
a very warm, loving,
and understanding “Welcome”
to our new friends who attended
the October meeting:
Delmira Garcia
for the loss of her son
Annette Gilmore
for the loss of her brother
Amy & Tim Moreno
for the loss of their sons
Barbara & James Terry
for the loss of their children
No Birthday Table
in November
Due to the Memorial,
November & December birthdays will be celebrated
at the December meeting.
Save the Date!
Next year’s National Conference will be held at the Hyatt Regency O’Hare in Chicago, IL, July 11-13.
When a child dies, at any age,
the family suffers intense pain
and may feel hopeless and isolated.
The Compassionate Friends
provides highly personal comfort,
hope, and support to every family
experiencing the death
of a son or a daughter,
a brother or a sister, or a grandchild,
and helps others better assist
the grieving family.
TCF National Office
The Compassionate Friends
P. O. Box 3696
Oak Brook, IL 60522-3696
Fax: 630-990-0246
Toll-free: 877-969-0010
9 A.M. - 5 P.M., CST, Mon.-Fri.
Email:
Website:
www.compassionatefriends.org
The website contains links to TCF’s national and regional conferences, brochures, e-newsletter, online support community, We Need Not Walk Alone magazine, “Healing the Grieving Heart” and “The Open to Hope Show” radio program archives, webinars, chapter websites, and other resources.
Facebook:
The Compassionate Friends/USA
In Spanish:
Los Amigos Compasivos/USA
Twitter:
Text follow TCFofUSA to 40404
Upcoming Meetings
Nov. 12th – Annual Remembrance
Memorial
Dec. 10th – Discussion Groups
2014 Meeting Dates
Jan. 14th, Feb. 11th, March 11th,
April 8th, May 13th, June 10th,
July 8th, Aug. 12th, Sep. 9th,
Oct. 14th, Nov. 11th, Dec. 9th
The November newsletter
is sponsored by
Steve Roberts
in memory of his daughter
in honor of her November birthday
Love Gifts
A Love Gift is a donation made in honor of a child who has died or as a memorial to a relative or friend. They are tax deductible and are the only means that allow us to reach out to other bereaved families through books, programs and this newsletter.
If you would like, you can specify that your love gift be used for the newsletter, continuing education/workshops, or books for our lending library.
If you wish for your love gift or sponsorship to be listed in a particular month’s newsletter, it must be submitted by the 15th of the previous month.
Send donations to Steve Roberts
P.O. Box 202654, Arlington, 76006
TCF Fort Worth Chapter
Steering Committee
Chapter Leaders
Jeff & Marty Martin
817-991-9121
Treasurer
Steve Roberts
817-914-8689
Hospitality
Marty Akeman
817-636-5645
Christine Anderson
817-300-6196
Lydia Moore
817-829-3801
Newsletter
Becky Long
817-275-9297
Librarian
Patty Gallagher
817-861-1491
Committee Members
Jeff Abodeely
Crys Aigner
Charles & Genie Dean
Janet DuPertuis
Liz Hutchison
Thanks to the staff members of Greenwood-Mt. Olivet for manning
the sign-in table, providing the name tags and printing the newsletter.
We really appreciate your help!
Regional Coordinator
Bill Campbell
972-935-0673
Chapter Website
www.thecompassionatefriendsfw.com
Need to Talk?
Listed below are parents, grandparents and siblings who
have walked where you are today.
If you are having a difficult day
and just want to talk, please call.
Addiction
Helen
817-431-6964
Auto
Jeff & Marty
817-991-9121
Grandchild/Multiple Loss
Lydia
817-829-3801
Drowning
Debi
817-270-3275
Drowning (young child)
Stacy
817-656-7540 or 817-845-3433
Long Term Illness
Marty
817-636-5645
Homicide/Only Child
Steve
817-914-8689
Suicide/Only Child
Joy
817-453-2227
Suicide
Glinda
817-485-3772
Siblings
Cheryl
817-624-7043
Middle of the night calls
Liz
817-726-3999
Want to share?
We encourage you to submit
your own works of poetry or
prose for our newsletter.
Chapter News
Remembrance Program
Our annual remembrance memorial will be held on November 12th, at 7 P.M., in the chapel on the southwest side of Arborlawn United Methodist Church, 5001 Briarhaven, in Fort Worth, with a dinner afterwards.
We ask that you bring
a dessert to share.
During the ceremony, each child’s name is read, and their picture is displayed onscreen as a candle is lit in their honor. You may wish to bring an 8x10 or smaller picture of your loved one to place their candle in front of. Each family will receive a copy of the program with each loved one’s picture, as well as a flower and ornament.
Worldwide Candle Lighting
The Worldwide Candle Lighting started in the US in 1997 as a small internet observance but is now believed to be the largest mass candle lighting on the globe.
Our chapter’s observance of the Worldwide Candle Lighting will take place Dec. 8th, at 6:30 P.M. at Holy Family Catholic Church, 6150 Pershing Ave. in Ft. Worth.
To get to Holy Family Catholic Church, take I-30 from either direction to the Bryant Irvin exit. If you are coming from the west, turn left on Bryant Irvin Road, then left on Pershing Avenue after you cross the highway. If you are coming from the east, turn right on Guilford Road, then left on Pershing Avenue. The church will be on your right.
Please feel free to bring children and other family and friends to both of these special events.
The cool crisp air of autumn brings the excitement and anticipation of Thanksgiving, the holidays, family gatherings, special food, warm joyous memories, and for those of us experiencing illness, grief or separation from those we love, it can also be a time of pain, sadness or dread.
How can we comfort and heal the brokenness and emptiness we feel as the rest of the world is dancing with happiness?
Instead of pretending to be happy, allow yourself the permission to be exactly where you are – sad, withdrawn, depressed, angry – or if a moment of quiet, relief, warmth, love or happiness washes over you – allow yourself that moment. You may judge yourself for being sad or a “downer” and in the same breath, deny yourself any moments of peace and happiness, by feeling happy or for feeling good.
Grief will come in waves of memories – of what you once shared together that you no longer will have.
Holiday time can bring up incredible frustrations, helpless-ness and anger at a world that appears to be totally oblivious to your pain. As the holidays approach, focus on what you need to take care of yourself. It might be to create a new way of celebrating important events that will be a healing balm to your grief rather than a reopening of the wounds.
Solicit other people’s support in your active process of surviving the season. Share with family and friends your plan to take care of your hurting. If there is some-thing someone can do to nurture you, let them know. You will be giving them the gift of honesty, so they can give you the gift of caring.
Our senses are acute at this time. Every sight, sound (i.e. music), aroma, taste (i.e. goodies), and touch will be magnified. Or the opposite may occur and we may be anesthetized and not be able to feel anything.
Throughout our journey into and out of the winter months, it is vital that we listen carefully each day, hour and minute to what we are experiencing, what we need and what we can do to get what we need.
Be gentle with you. Treat yourself as you would the most delicate, tiny child who is hurting – who yearns only to be held, cuddled and protected. Care for yourself as the precious human being you are.
By Janet Childs
TCF, San Jose/Palo Alto, CA
Holiday Card
with a Purpose
The first Christmas after my son, Ian, died, we made up our own holiday cards with a special purpose. In each card, we enclosed a self-addressed, stamped envelope.
The front of the card said:
“Holidays are for sharing special moments with those we love – here are some of our favorite holiday memories.”
The inside listed moments we remembered with our children such as:
“Sleeping in his new shoes Christmas night.”
“Singing baby sister to sleep in the dark.”
“The roaring sound of the VW engine that told us Ian was on his way home.”
“I don’t know how that beer can got there.” (Yeah, right!)
and more…and we asked the recipient to :
“Please take a few moments and share some memories of Ian with us in the enclosed self-addressed, stamped envelope.”
Many did respond…and it’s amazing what treasure those little scraps of paper are to us. I would not have those “stories” if I had not asked for them. I’m glad I did.
By Becky Sharpe (Ian’s mom)
TCF, Gainesville, GA
The Season of Obligation
The festive season is almost upon us again, the ‘silly season,’ the season of joy and goodwill, of parties and celebration. Some of us like to call it the season of obligation. We are often obligated to seem happy and joyous.
Obliged to be nice to people we haven’t liked all year, people whose lack of sensitivity to our grief we have been expected to tolerate. We may be obliged to acknowledge religious celebrations, when all we ask is, “Why?”
Don’t people realize how painful Christmas and all this ho h ho is? Well, no they don’t. They don’t know how those empty places at the Christmas table leave such a void in all of us.
Many people start Christmas day with a champagne breakfast, while some of us visit the cemetery and are then obliged to face the festivities.
I will never forget one response when I expressed dread of Christmas day. “It’s not a very happy time for us,” I said, “you see two of my brothers have died, five places instead of seven at our table is fairly painful for us.” “Oh well, five is better than none, just eat, drink and be merry” came the response. As a grieving brother or sister, helplessly watching our parents’ pain, on top of our own usually guarded grief, is a very painful experience. It can sometimes prove too agonizing to bear.
As most of our friends live it up, we are faced with a miserable time in our own grief, often parenting our parents through a very emotionally draining time.
For the shift workers amongst us ‘having’ to work (or begging to!) is often a good escape from the obligation of it all. If this is your first Christmas, our hearts go out to you, but no matter how long it has been, please be gentle on yourselves as we all brace ourselves for yet another special time without our special people.
By Shayn Parfrey
TCF, Victoria, Australia
Fort Worth Chapter
Annual Remembrance Memorial
Date: November 12, 2013
Program Time: 7:00 P.M.
Please note the earlier start time!
We will meet in the chapel on the southwest side
of the church and have dinner afterwards.
Please bring a dessert to share.
You may also wish to bring
a framed picture of your loved one.
Arborlawn United Methodist Church
5001 Briarhaven Rd., Fort Worth
Driving Directions
The church is behind the Fort Worth Library
at the corner of Hulen St. and Briarhaven Rd.
From I-20, go ½ mile north on Hulen,
turn left on Briarhaven.
From I-30, go 3 miles south on Hulen,
turn right on Briarhaven.
The church is two blocks down on the left.
To those of you who are newly bereaved
and receiving our newsletter for the first time,
we warmly welcome you to The Compassionate Friends. We are a self-help organization
of parents, grandparents and adult siblings
who have experienced the death of a loved one.
We offer understanding and support
through our monthly meetings, a lending library, support materials and loving telephone listeners.
Please do not be afraid to come to a gathering.
Every other person in the room
has lost a child, grandchild or sibling.
They come because they feel the need
to be with someone else who understands.
We know it takes courage to attend that first gathering, but those who do come find an atmosphere
of understanding from others who have experienced
the grief that you have now.
Nothing is asked of you.
There are no dues or fees and you do not have to speak. There is a special feeling at meetings
of The Compassionate Friends.
We meet the second Tuesday of every month..